Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I lost my wife the light of my life 7 days ago in a tragic car accident. We had been married for just 6 months, everything hurts atm and I have no one to turn to.
I moved from England to Canada to be with the woman I hoped to spend the rest of my life with, that was a while ago now. We had done the 6 months thing here and there again and again for the last 5 years so we decided it was time to move intogether.
I gave up everything I owned and moved to the other side of the world to be with the only woman I have ever truly loved.
Then 7 days ago she was on her way to a Christmas convention and was hit while turning on a junction. She was killed instantly, I have been told multiple times "She didnt suffer" It gives me some solus but day by day it gets worse. I sit alone in my apartment listening to the Sound of Silence over and over again (Her favourite song). All her friends were more her friends then mine and arent really interested in talking to me, I have so many unanswered questions and so much I need to know still yet I know I cannot ever get an answer since she is gone.
I instead send her messages on Facebook like I expect her to randomly answer me, and sit up all night watching the clock not really sure what it is im waiting for.
When I tell anyone they either say "Oh you're so young you'll get over it" like my age is somehow meant to give me resilience- it doesnt.
I dunno if this is even the place to tell this story to but I just feel like I have to tell someone.
I could go on so much more about the circumstances and how amazing she was but I assume it would be redundant since the whole point anyone comes here is because they loved someone they lost.
I just need someone to tell me where I go from here? Im sick of being told im to young to find it hard. I cry mororless all day and I just dont know what to do anymore. When they talk about guiding lights well she was mine.
I apologise if this isnt the place to post this but I cant really work the site out, as my mind isnt so clear atm.
Thanks ahead of time.
I am so sorry you had to find us, but welcome. Let the tears flow. You will never "get over this". You will learn to live with it. Its a long slow process. I couldn't listen to music for a real long time. I still don't turn it on in my car. Its been 2yrs 5 months for me. I couldn't look at his things or pictures of him. It still hurts to look at pictures. I'm OK most of the time now and you'll get there too. Don't try yo rush through it. Just let it happen. You will start having a few good moments and they will turn into hours any then days etc. We're here for you. Go through and read other post. It will help you realize you are not alone.
Big hugs Rachel
I just want her back, I feel overwhelmed cause I know soon im going to have to do the funeral and sort out finances etc etc. I cant even think straight atm nevermind sort that kind of stuff out.
I visited our favourite park yesterday and I ended up having to hide behind a tree because I broke apart. I dunno if im a sucker for punishment or whether its normal to want to do these things.
I was told I should get over this fast cause im young and a man. But the truth is im a wimp I always have been and this is just to much.
I am so sorry for your loss, I just lost my husband October 18. I am glad you found this website and you are definitely in the right place. Don't listen to any of your friends and you will never get over it, but it will get easier. I was told that when I joined this group, and you will find it does get easier. All you can do now is live second by second, minute by minute and day by day. Cry all you want, I still cry, and it will make you feel better once you cry. Crying is good for the soul. There will be things that will remind you of your dear wife, and you will cry. There is no wrong way or right way to grieve. Everyone grieves differently. Just let it happen. Cry when you want to cry. I do. I sometimes just sob and sob and sob and I know it is hard to believe but you will find you feel better after a good cry.
All I ask is that you rest when your tired, and eat even though it is small you have to eat, to keep up your strength. Drink lots of water as well, it does help, I have learned this and was also told this when I first joined this site. You have to look after yourself. Your wife is with you in spirit, keep the faith and may god bless you.
Keep writing on this site as you are not alone. We are all here for you.
Hugs to you Dianna
It's going to hurt for a long time; it's going to always be there in some form or another. We learn to live and move on without them but our lives will never be the same! So cry, cry, and cry some more! If you want to stay curled up under your blanket all day and cry it's okay! Try to at least eat some crackers, toast, something so you don't get sick and definitely drink water as Dianna said. Always remember she's forever in your heart and looking down on you! It's also okay if you 'talk' to her and don't let somebody think you're weird for doing so. I used to talk to DH everyday for a long time after it happened and I still do when I'm really feeling low and it really helps! Sending big hugs!
I hope its as you say and time makes me feel better cause the thought of spending the whole rest of my life without her is to terrible to think about but I dont wanna feel like this for the rest of my life.
I lost my husband back in March, also in a freak accident, he was 34. Again there are no answers, just the fact that he is gone. I have so many questions that will forever go unanswered, just know your not alone with dealing with tragedy. I was a mess for months after the accident. This site helped tremendously with coping with the loss.
Please message me anytime you need to talk or vent. This is a great place to post for advise or get a perspective of someone who is also traveling the journey of grief. Laurie
I know its selfish but all I can think about atm is my own pain I cant even consider others which makes me feel worse knowing there are others such as her friends for example that are going to miss her. I went to get milk from the store today and a darling old lady who always said hello to us said "Oh where is she today? She working?" I started shaking turned my back and ran away crying. I have no idea what she thought.
Even my boss has noticed it, he has said I barely reconise you. You need to get help.
But the problem is I have no one and professional help always scares me. So im here because I know you people at least know what I mean. Unlike counselors and such people.