Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Christopher_O 11/13/2017

My wife passed away on 9/28/17 in the morning in our home. I can still remember it very clearly as if it yesterday and it hurts just the same. I don't think any of us will probably be ever the same again or at least I know that I won't and I hope and Pray that God brings each one of us some sort of comfort. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't find myself crying at somepoint in the day. What's really difficult is that I really don't have anyone to talk to about what I'm feeling in my family, because none of them have lost a spouse. Yes, our parents are deceased and they are in Heaven, but this was my wife, my everything. I've read somewhere that said that a part of each one of us has died when our spouses past on and I believe it. God, I miss her so much and I hope that I'll be able to see her again in Heaven someday. I finally got up the courage to change our bedding today and wash and remake the bed for us. We have one of those Temperic beds, so she had her own side and I had mine. She said that we had to get one because I would always take all the covers, lol. But, after washing I put everything back the way she always liked it. She liked when I made the bed, because I would always leave a little one of those kisses on her pillow for her. You know just the little things that means the most. God, I love her so much. I know that the Holidays are coming up and this is going to be my first without Staicia. I even start thinking about it and I'm balling, so I'm not to sure how well this one is going to go. If I could sleep through it that would be great I think. Talk to you soon

Stormee 11/13/2017

Hi Christopher O, My husband passed away in our house on Sept 8 in the middle of the night. These waters are rough now and may be for a while. The good news is that God has you in His hands and even when you are out of strength to hold on, He's still got you. He is the creator of the universe after all. Seek His face earnestly. Psalm 3:3 says He is our shield our glory and the lifter of our heads. I miss my soulmate terribly and still talk to him sometimes. I also feel the Lord as a shield around me wherever I go. When the crying spells overtake me, they don't washes me away for at the same time the God of the universe is holding my hand. Best of all He understands my pain better than anyone else. You mentioned that you don't have anyone to talk to. Just know I have found this to be a caring and helpful group. Also I'm a good listener if you ever want to talk. Hugs to you and peaceful sleep.

HisQueen 11/13/2017

My husband did not die at home, however, he was here for the last 10 months of his life, suffering in our bedroom and crying out in pain most of every night. I have found it very difficult to sleep here, but I work so I need to come home every night.

On most weekends, I escape by traveling as much as possible.

My husband’s sickness and death in my loving arms have never tested my faith, and I fully trust we will be together in eternity, but I still weep at the thought of being without him.

My friends and family mean well, but they don’t really understand. It’s not their fault, it just is.

My hope to find some solace in this group ...

monnieloves 11/14/2017

My condolences for your loss. I experienced the grief of losing my mother who was also my best friend. I miss her terribly everyday. I take comfort in knowing that I will see her again in heaven. You will see your wife again in a place where there are no more tears, pain, or sorrow. I will pray for GOD to give peace that surpasses all understanding until you and your wife are reunited in a better place.

Rick51 11/14/2017

My condolences. We barely did Christmas last year due to my wife's illness, and I don't want to even take a small tree out this year, let alone celebrate the season.

shewearsblack17 11/15/2017

I bought a tree and put it in my friend's living room, so we have a shared tree. It makes her happy. I put out a few candles, poinsettias, etc. here, mainly to try to brighten things up. But there's no holiday cheer. Last year I started crying when I heard "Jingle Bells." That's not really a sad song, but it hit me just the same. Things were really fresh then, but this year it's not really any better. I just don't want to get my hopes up for anything positive to happen that may not happen. I know God can do anything, but will He? Will we ever be as happy again as we were before?

dogmama 11/15/2017

My husband died on 9/14/17. He was involved in a one-car accident. He was killed instantly. It took me 3 weeks to take the last towel he used off of the shower curtain rod. This is a pain that nobody can understand. Even if someone lost their spouse, their relationship wasn't your relationship. I don't know how I'm going to get through the holidays either. Just know that we are all here together for each other.

horabs 11/15/2017

My love passed 8/21 of this year and I can’t stop crying...

Shrn 11/15/2017

My husband died at home and I'm grateful to be able to accomplish that. We were high school sweethearts and became friends who grew into love and marriage that lasted 40 years. I seriously wondered if I could or would survive. Through the comfort I received here I have. Now I am here for you. Sharon

Sosammy1 11/16/2017

I too like many others dread facing those first holidays without my husband. I just realized that Thanksgiving is next week. It has only been not quite a month since my husband passed away and I still can't sleep in our bed. I am not ready to face dealing with his personal things. His pjs still hang on the bathroom door and his clothes in the closet. I am not sure I will ever be ready to give away his clothes and things. It seems like saying goodbye to him all over again.

Kakra 11/16/2017

Christopher you have a few weeks on me. And that little bit of time shouldn't feel so big. But I can't see next week let alone a few weeks out. The pain seems to get worse every day. I know that's mot possible but, it's the way I feel. In the week after my husbands passing my family came in and went through all his things and disposed of all his clothes. I know they were trying to help but, now I will never get to experience that part of letting go. I couldn't go in our bedroom so they moved everything out of it. They set me up in our guest room. Dang now I'm balling... just wanted to tell you that those sweet memories you share are important.

pahatfi 11/16/2017

I lost my husband in july 2017 still miss him so much. we are planning on making throws out of his shirts, just to keep his things close. I did clean out his dresser, he had lost a lot of weight over the last two years so it was already half empty. i'm planning on buying his favorite cologne soon, just to smell a familiar scent at bedtime.

rajik 11/16/2017

My husband passed away more than 8 months ago. Seems like yesterday. I still have not got rid of any of his things. His half of closet is still the way it was the day he went to the hospital- never to be back.,I have put his favorite color towel on his towel rod , so that I don’t have to look at an empty rod. I don’t know when I will be ready to dispose of his clothes.

shewearsblack17 11/17/2017

I guess everyone is different. That is the first thing I did - got rid of his clothes. I just couldn't bear to look at them in the walk-in closet, so a friend helped me pack them up and take them to Goodwill. I gave a few of his clothes to his brother. I kept a couple of his caps and one shirt for the memory tote. I also bought a complete new bed and mattress set. If I could afford to, I would probably buy all new furniture. This doesn't mean I am not grieving, but it is my attempt to move forward.

kay_rauz 11/17/2017

Christopher I lost my husband 2 days earlier than you lost your wife. On the 16th. I'm just like you I hope/wish that some day I will see my husband in heaven. It's the little things we miss most.

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