Oh Laurie, So sorry. That had to have been devastating. My husband passed in August after a 12 year illness of COPD. I couldnt sleep for 3 months. It's horrible. Do you have family around you or good friends? How about a church group? Just keep coming back here and listening and posting when you feel up to it. My husband and I were married 50 years. It's such a lonely existence. Prayers going out to you. Shiloah

Laurie,
Hey, it's tough to lose a loved one suddenly like that. I know that you think that you might have been able to do something that would have prevented his passing. It's really an illusion, IMO.

My best friend had his wife in the ICU and she had a heart attack and died. Even with the best counter measures sometimes it will not change the result.

You did the best that you could - he knows that. These things are beyond our control, really.

No matter how you lose your loved one you will have trouble sleeping. Just survive today, that is all.

Hang in there,

Bob

I am so sorry for you. At first, it is so hard to do anything. Sleep, eat, think. It's just hard. Be kind to yourself and rest. Let others help you if they offer.
This is one tough emotional roller coaster ride. Sending God prayers 4 peace and comfort.

Laurie...I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband suddenly too. He was having chest pains last year, and the dr did a stress test which turned out fine. This year, his chest pains got worse, so to make a long story short, he had a heart attack in the hospital. They put a stent in and two weeks later, he went into cardiac arrest at home and died. My daughter is a nurse and she did CPR on him for at least 15 min until the fire dept got here. But with cardiac arrest, every minute counts and we did not have a defibrilator. The doctor did not see this coming. That was in July and today it feels like just yesterday. The holiday was horrible, dealing with his death and an unresolved issue with his siblings over some property. I do have some goals for the new year, and that keeps me going. It will be a new start, a cleansing. I use some meds to help me sleep, but sometimes they dont work entirely. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Here is a hug....Patricia

Laurie...I am so sorry that you are going through this nightmare. I lost my husband of 30 years in August, and this is the hardest journey I have ever experienced. I have two adult children, and some days they are the only reason I feel like I can keep getting up everyday. Just try and get through one day at a time. You might want to try some meds to help you sleep....just a thought. Everything is compounded when you're exhausted. Take care.

Thank you all for your kind words and words of experience, I know that everyone is different but also the same if that makes sense. But I really needed to talk to people who have gone and are going thru this nightmare. I have a daughter who is 22 she has down syndrome and does not understand all that has happened with her Daddy, she knows he is gone but says he didn't want to leave and go to Heaven yet. I told her that no he didn't but God needed an Angel in Heaven to watch over us. My son is 17 and misses his Papa so much he seems to be doing OK for now but hasn't talked a whole lot about his Papa after the 1st week or so. I will continue to come back to this site as you al have givne me support and don't even know me yet, I appreciate you all so much, thank you all again, I am trying to take it one second/minute/hour at a time but I just want to cry all the time, I do cry but mostly when I gplay down in bed and he is not there anymore. that is my hardest part of a day.

Laurie

Hold on' everyone here is with you. each of us knows your pain and support you each step of the way.be kind to yourself. God Bless. chipstears

I struggled with poor medical care however I know in my heart the time appointed for my husband to go to heaven was appointed long ago. Nothing anyone could have done would have changed it. Yes I cry a lot, its been over two months and getting a little better. But I am not sure if I am still in shock and it will get worse. One thing I know Jesus is my friend, he is there for me and will carry me thru this. My children, grand children and great grandchildren need me strong. I had preparation of a long disease but he got better so many times I thought he would this time too. God bless.

Hi Laurie. So sorry for the loss of your husband and best friend. Long ago it seems (but really not long), I was welcomed to this little group. So I'm welcoming you now, to the 'club' nobody wants to belong to, nor in our wildest dreams we ever thought we'd be a part of.

I think we all second guess ourselves and think what if I'd done this or that instead. Fact is, probably nothing we could do to change the course of history. From the day we are born our days are numbered. It was just your husbands time, as it was my husband's time when he was 53. In the scheme of the whole universe it makes sense, and was the right time, but not to us. Nor will we ever comprehend it.

You will find many wonderful and supportive folks here on W&W that are struggling with many of the same issues. Whereas the story line is always a bit different, the elements are all the same. Oftentimes friends make the journey easier. I wouldn't have made it this far without faith, friends, family, and my virtual friends on DS.

God Bless.

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I lost my wife suddenly last March at age 59 also. It's a long hard journey, but you can only do it one step at a time. Take it day by day/ hour by hour/ or even minute by minute. Most of all take care of yourself which isn't easy to do at this time.Come here often as we understand what your going through, we have all been there.

God Bless,

Russ

I am so sorry for your loss, but glad you are with those who are going through losing a dear one. My husband passed away 5 months ago and New Year's Eve was our very first date, 36 years ago. This was our second marriage, my first love. I pray that you will be strengthen and encouraged, as we all have been. Whenever you need to vent, we are here.

So sorry for your loss, I pray that those of us here at DS can give you some comfort in your struggling weeks ahead. God Bless

Laurie I am so so sorry for your loss. You are still in the early stages of the grief process which are the most painful and raw. The fact the loss was so sudden just makes it even more overwhelming. I want to send you a big hug and let you know the people here at DS are ready and able to walk with you through the grief process. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. God bless. Gerald (Yes the pain does become less intense with time)

thank you all again, I will be starting a spouse grief support group through the hospital where Stevan Died but not at the hospital, just down the road, it begins the 13th of January in the evening. I am looking forward to it but also a little nervous, never been to a support group for a death not sure what to expect. I really do like this sight and as I said I already feel just a tad better talking and reading all your stories and advice.

you all are very dear

Laurie

One of the hardest things to do is not to blame yourself. My husband died suddenly, too, and I was so upset with myself for not insisting he go for his annual check-up. He never did tell me he was having problems. Men don't always tell their wives when they are not feeling well. It is not your fault. You must hang on to that fact. Losing a loved one is never easy, but when it's your soulmate, it sometimes seems impossible to accept or understand. I hope you will keep coming back to this site. It really does help to have others to talk to who are going through their own loss. The people on this site have gone through what you're going through and they can help with your pain, anger, and depression.