Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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pattygriffith 01/19/2016

I'm not sure if I have posted on here about my goals for this year but I told my therapist I want to find the new me. Do things that I wouldn't normally do or go places ,new adventures. Its coming up on 6 months and I'm feeling like this grief monster is going away and I'm learning to accept Steven ain't coming back and he would want me to live life to the fullest.

I am currently on my first solo vacation ever. I flew for the 2nd time ever yesterday and I'm proud that I was able to make it within the airports by myself and relied only on me. Man Atlanta airport was huge. But I was able to make to my destinations safe and got my rental last night and made it to the hotel without any issues.

But I was so tired but then I didn't get much sleep. Even though I went on the cruise 2 months ago I was with family and my friends. I slept like a baby. New city new me just couldt sleep last night. which is not like me.

I'm visiting some friends in Daytona Beach,Florida were a week. First time to be in Florida.

Scottie told me to stay away from the sharks lol (he was meaning the men sharks, not the animals)

I was cracking up laughing when he told me that in a message he sent me.

pattygriffith 02/04/2016

Part of the new adventures new me and learning to accept the things as they are. A person from this group I won't mention has decided for whatever reason they don't want to communicate with me at this time. I'm feeling very confused as too why this took place. I know as widows we all go thru things in different ways/time. But I wasn't expecting a widowed person to treat me the same as non widowed person. I think as widowed people we all have one common goal is to being part of a support group and help each other. I feel as though anything I have discussed with this person was all for nothing. I have seen other people drop out of my life since losing my husband but I wasn't expecting this person to. They are too busy to private message me but still posting in the discussions as if nothing is wrong. I was hoping to be part of a group where we all can trust each other and tell each other things to help each other out. This person said at first they thought I was a person of few words but it seemed the more I opened up and send daily messages then the door slammed in my face. I am truly hurt that this had to happen.

debrus 02/05/2016

Good for you I am in same situation just made six months and starting a new life for me that is what my husband wanted. I joined new church and love it and will start ladies bible study in March. I have three little dogs so I don't go much out of town but plan a vacation later in year to TN with my friends. I still have trouble realizing I can make all the decisions right or wrong by myself. My husband was my rock and I still wish I could turn to him for advice but I have to do it on my own.
We will make it and stay strong. So happy for you!

cliffskat 02/05/2016

Patty, I am sorry you felt hurt by someone here. Try to remember that we each go through this inn our own way. Some are less comfortable about sharing and establishing friendships than others. Some prefer their privacy and anonymity - there is nothing wrong with that. There is no right way or wrong way, but sometimes we do stumble and say or do something that hurts another when we don't mean to. I am sure there are others here who would be more comfortable with messaging and such.

We have all have a loss in common, but that does not make us a homogenous group. People will react differently to things - it is what keeps this group interesting - everybody has a different take on things.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

cgriff4ever 02/05/2016

wow, Im not sure what happened, or who, or whatever. I agree with martha. We are all different, in a good way. I know I'm a pretty private person, and sometimes I get busy, mostly to keep my mind busy, instead of crying or being sad all the time. Then there are times, when I'm more social. Just because I;m not posting doesnt mean I dont care or read, or listen. I just tend to be a bit more reserved with what I say to other widows/widowers, so as to not put my foot in my mouth. I hope you realize we alll love you patty. stay strong, and have a great night. much love and big hugs carla

antelsabove 02/06/2016

So proud of you. I have never liked to do anything solo and therefore I am missing out on a lot.

pattygriffith 02/07/2016

I think sometimes we let ourselves stand in the way of our own happiness. I learned one thing is when you have to do things on your own you just have to have the willpower to do it but its always funnier do it with someone. Did I like being alone. No but I managed. I just imagined Steven with me every step of the way. If we would have been do this trip together he would have had to nudge me to the top of the towers or the drving around it would have been him driving. He would have loved Florida. Some places on my bucket list will be the places he wanted to travel.

Also in 2 weeks, a widowed friend is coming to visit Texas and I will be showing him around. I'm looking forward to being the tour guide lol.

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