Welcome Deborah. Yes, you've come to the right place. We are all healing our broken hearts here and we understand how you just don't "get over it" like those that have never gone through it wish we would (as do we). These are issues of the heart, and the hardest thing any of us will ever go through in this life. God bless and comfort you in this your time of need. ~~~ Scottie

Dear Deborah, you have come to the right place. All these wonderful people have been where you are. It is a devistating loss, harder than many of us knew possible. But the love, comfort and understanding I have found here are amazing. This journey has rocked me to my core, but knowing that everyone here "gets it" certainly helps. Come here as often as you like, we are proud to have you with us! Hugs and Love, Michele

I think most of us need to talk to someone who understands. Welcome to the group that none of us wanted to be part of. I lost my husband to lung cancer shortly after diagnosis. We were just beginning our retirement. Being here was my life raft to survival. Sharon

Deborah,
none of want to Need coming to this place, but unfortunately No one except those of us who are going through the same grief can understand, help us, or even continue walking with us in patience..
You will find all those things here, with each of our members.
Understanding is a big thing, so is help- but If Only those who can do neither of the first two parts could just walk with us in patience and learn that listening is more important than knowing what to say.
Barbara.

Hi Deborah no one should tell you it's time to get over it, no one here gets over it. I lost my Wife two months ago and I hope in time I can deal with it but I will never get over it. Stay strong. All the best Robert.

Right at eight months for me. My wife passed in her sleep while I was at work unexpectantly. I still don't move any quicker than I need to for me. This is one of those times where I believe God is O.K. with us being selfish with what we need to do to heal. Be patient with yourself. You are the one going thru this so, no disrespect to any of those folks, but forget them for now. Take care.
Peace, Tim

Deborah - I lost my husband unexpectedly a little over six months ago. Just when I think I'm taking two steps forward it seems like I fall three steps back. But that's okay. I understand that you need to talk to others who "get it" because unless you have experienced it there is no possible way to understand how hard it is just to get through the day sometimes. The good news is that there are good days too. We all cry for each other here because we can truly empathize. I pray for peace for all of us.
Ruth

I am sorry you need to be here but glad you found us. I went through the same thing, and was so glad when I stumbled across DS. No one in my social circle, including friends who were 10+ years old than myself, was a widow/widower. I had nobody who really understood what I was going through. Being here helped me survive it and rebuild my life. I hope it helps you, too.

Welcome!

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Hi Deborah....I'm so sorry for your loss, but very happy you found DS. A lot of us stumbled upon this site in the middle of the night, sitting at the computer when we couldn't sleep.
I lost my husband almost 2 years ago after a short battle with bile duct cancer. I've shared with friends, family, and attended a hospice support group, but DS has been the best support I've found. The people here understand the grief of losing a spouse more than any other support I've reached out to.
Post often, let your feelings flow. The caring feedback you receive here will help you heal and learn how to live again. We understand everything you are going through.
Peace and hugs, Lori

Thank you all so much! Such wonderful and giving people. I am still trying to figure out the best way to use this site and how to post and respond. Please forgive me as I stumble along here. Do know that I am grateful to have found you.

I know what you mean after my first husband died I had many people telling me well its time to move on now...and many women who felt i was after all of their husbands...EEEwwww.So about a year and according to They the People its time....They know not what they do.

Hi Deborah,
So sorry for your loss. I am just at 4 months. My heart aches for you, as we all know what you are going through. But this is a very helpful group of people. I have a great family support system, and they all really try, but they can't understand all we feel, and it's hard to explain to them our emotions. We don't even understand our emotions. Talking with those who grieve as we do as they are part of this sad "club" helps. They/we all understand what you say and feel. And you feel more comfortable with your thoughts and questions. Hang in. . I am still one day at a time, but feel I am taking more steps forward then I do back . . . Well, most days. Glad you found this site.

I hate that. You should be over it. You're too young. You need to move on. You're not grieving the right way.

NO ONE has the right to tell you how to grieve. I get that it can get out of control, but you have to go through what you have to go through.

XXOO