Women way out number men. Especially in the 60's

In the first almost 4 years I believed everything you wrote. I had a man friend around the 3 year mark, but we both weren't interested in taking it any further. It was very much a brother /sister relationship that we both benefitted from it for close to a year. I wanted no more. And, most importantly, I was happy being myself. There's nothing wrong with that.

We went our separate ways and I met a wonderful man. The feelings were totally different from my friend and my husband. My husband could never be replaced for me and never will. But the man I now am committed to makes me very happy. You can read more in my latest journal entry.

You can live your life either way, as you choose. Doing what is right for you. Sharon

Women outnumber men ,there are more widows and men widowers tend to look for younger women.So its hard.I know i am young,but at almost 40 i guess only men in 50s will be interested in me,and i dont want that...So who says you need to have a man to be happy? i can be perfectly happy alone too

I am 32 with kids and I do not need to get married again to be happy. There are other ways to make your life rewarding. I have my children, a career and law school. I can not think of one thing I need another man for. I am very blessed for having had the chance to have a good marriage and I think it unfair to subject young children to another man.I have not seen one man out there that would even interest me. I have too many requirements and just don't have time for all that drama.

Maggie

I'm 58 and don't plan to remarry unless God shows me different. I'm not impressed by the way relationships are handled nowadays. I don't want to "hook-up" and try out a lot of men. I don't want to live together or sleep together before marriage. I don't want to be a cougar. Finding a man who can understand my beliefs and agree with them is near impossible outside of God's miracles.

So, I'm content with the way things are now.

i totally agree with michaelbmanning,,and i know its not going to change...my husband has been gone for 4 years and i still feel i wont change my mind..I live for my son,and i am happy when he is happy...I totally understand if some people do not agree and its not wrong ,there is no wrong or right in this decision..

I know my husband would not mind if i remarried though,but this is what i feel is ok for me.And you can be happy without a partner :)

I hope to meet someone to share my life with, but it will be awhile before Im emotionally ready for that. Im close to two years and still dont feel ready to date. If it happens great, if not I will be OK with it.
Russ

I'm at four years and I had never lived alone in my entire life. Brian was sick for many years and I often thought about how I would feel if I were a widow. My decision was to make the most of my life alone. I have no interest in dating or remarriage.

I have found a contentment in my life and I don't want that to change. I've heard it over and over again that to be happy and move forward I need someone in my life. Well that is totally wrong in my case. I don't need someone else to make me happy. I have to find that within myself.

I am financially secure at this point in my life and men at my age (50) are looking for different things than when I was dating at 16. I don't have children and I don't want to have to deal with ex wives, someone else's children and/or grandchildren. That chaos does not appeal to me. I like peace and quiet in my life.

I have a job that I love and a home that is small and cozy that my husband and I built. I do not want my life interrupted and the thought of having to change my life to accommodate someone else is just unappealing.

I guess I sound really selfish and maybe I am. I'm proud to say that I'm an independent widowed woman who feels that my life is the way I want it. I'm traveling on my own, I've started displaying my needlework at a local art shop and I'm volunteering there one time a month. I retire in 9 years and I'm already considering what that will look like for me. I have so many options.

I do want to make something clear....I dearly loved my husband and we had a great marriage, but now is time for me and me alone. I made a decision the week after the funeral that he would want me to be happy and move forward and that is exactly what I am doing.

This philosophy is not for everyone. One size does not fit all with widowed people. However, my choices are working very well for me. I hope you can find the path that makes you content in your life.

Nessie from KY

When this subject comes up I always want to respond with my two cents.

Along with running our business and taking care of my bed-fast mother in law, I am blessed with our kids and grandkids.
I am forever grateful for my husband - loved being married. Loved it all.

This life I am now living is rewarding in its own way and another man is out of the question. No other man will love my children and grandchildren the way that I do (and the way that Bill would).
I am thankful for what we had............and I am thankful for what I now have.
When Bill died I lost a good bit of myself and after four years... I am once again comfortable in my own skin. On the rare occasion that I have free time, I relax and count my blessings. No need for more. No room for more. I am still very much in love with Bill and I am still his wife.

As long as we don't choose bitterness, the horrible storms of grief and pain are remarkable teachers and we come thru as wiser, kinder, deeper people.
For now I am enjoying the calm after the storm.

I'm 27, so this has been a big question not only from others but even myself. And I go back and forth. About 6 months after Brad passed my brother in law asked when I would start dating again. I told him I didn know if I ever would. His brother and I had a rough start, but I knew from day one this was the man for me. I was done dating and then all of a sudden I was faced with all this. What it comes down to for me is that it has been years since any man has made me look twice, and it's going to take someone incredible to even live halfway up to Brad. But I have decided that God has a plan and I don't know where that will take me, it's just in his hands. I am very lonely, but not in the sense of just needing anyone. I'm lonely for him.

Valerie, I love your posts and I'm happy you are moving forward. As Male and female people on this planet I think we are supposed to be with the person of our choosing. Life is too short to live in a situation we did not choose to be in. I find myself moving past the past and longing to move forward to fun and happiness in the time I have left on this planet. I choose to stay focused and positive as I feel there is much joy and fun for me to experience. I live with the glass half full and know that life is there for me for the living. Life is too short and we must make the most out of it! I am tired of being mister sad and want to experience fun and joy though it is a journey that is difficult. I want to experience the joy and touch and caress of a special lady. I know she is out there and waiting for the Dewman to hold and caress her and feel the spirit of me! I have learned that the only thing that matters in life is having that special someone who accepts you for who you are and cares for you unconditionally. That my friends is what this is all about and why we are hurting so much now! I'm writing from my heart as I seek that special spirit and wish to give my unconditional caring, love and support to her. I'm new at this journey but it has shown me what life is really about and it has changed me into a better, more caring, loving man! Peace be with my DS sisters and brothers. I wish only the best for all of us in this path of life. To all of you new to this journey through as I call it the "journey of he;;" please be assures that we are all here for you and we know your pain and suffering. It really sucks but life has put us on the train together and I feel for all my DS friends. Thinking of everyone and wishing the best for everyone. Dewey

Anna,
For myself, I know that I do not want to be alone the rest of my life. I am not sure what Gods plan is for me, but all I can do is trust in him. My husband has been gone for over two years now and I still have children in school. I am concentrating on what makes me happy for now and if someone comes along then all I can do is wait and see if or when that will happen. Blessings to you SS

This is really a personal subject, with most people, knowing in their heart, what they want. My husband died suddenly and he was very insecure, and would tell me, that I would find someone else, if he died first, I always said "no I won't". I don't want to live my life alone, but I won't settle for anyone either. I want to love someone again, and that might never happen, only God knows. I think a marriage at my age, will be completely different that the one I had with my husband. All the drama of raising kids, being pig headed, fighting for nothing, will not happen. I've changed a lot since he died (5 years) and I know I want a positive upbeat person. We all take chances in life and I hope I have the chance to fall in love again. Both grandmothers of mine, were widowed in their 40s, one remarried and the other didn't. The one that remarried was always happy and smiling, the other, very strict, straight laced. I don't know if that is a reference to use or not, but it could have made the difference.

Paula

How old was your grandmother when she remarried ? from my experience women who have been widows for long time then to get used to it.I have had many widows in my life as many of them were war widows

We makes our bed and we lay in it. I do not choose to lay in my bed or (Life) alone. I'm not a happy single person and choose to find someone to share my weird personality with. She is out there and her and I will connect. Only a matter of time! I have had three special relationships with special women and there is a fourth waiting to find me. I cannot life with females but I also cannot live without
them.. My curse not yours! Life is fleeting and short in the scheme of things and I just want to have fun. I've been in severe car wrecks, industrial accidents ambulance trips and yet I'm still here. point is life is for the living and each must or may choose their path they follow but I have a clear direction I want to follow and it includes a new friend, buddy, life partner call it what you wish! I love Harley but his just likes to bite and scratch me when he thinks it time to feed cat which in current weather conditions is early and often and is probably why I'm awake now! Life as I see it in Montana! Maybe I will find a nice woman who can tolerate waking up to a nice fat mouse in bed in the morning! One can only hope! Happy trails to all! Montana hugs to my sisters and brothers on DS! Dewman wishing the best to everyone! Peace to all!