Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Circe 04/29/2018

It is my first time on here my husband passed 3/24/18 I feel like I am in a downward spiral and I can't stop it,he was cremated and I put some of his ashes in a 1 lb heart so it is not small but not big either I carry him around the house when I sleep he fits perfect in the nook of my chest if I have to leave the house he goes wih me most of the time I can't stop crying or yelling when will this let up I dont know how much more pain I can takeit takes everything I have to get out of bed most of the time I don't except to let the dogs out or go to the bathroom I feel like I am dying inside I need to know what to do now my words come out wrong when I speak I don't answer my phone you have been thru this please help me

Canwemoveon 04/30/2018

Thanks circe and whitedoves.
Trying to get some sleep soon
It's 148 am central time by me..
You are both loving souls.
Look forward to you and everyone here for the great support

1938penny 04/30/2018

I lost my husband 4 years ago. I still have problems. I am very disorganized and unmotivated. I don't pay bills on time even though I have the money. If I didn't have pets I wouldn't get out of bed. Now that it is Spring and warmer I feel some better but had one sinus infection after another all winter and could not bear the gray days and miserable cold. My daughter is taking me to Florida in June. I seem to look forward to nothing. Nothing gives me joy. I went through a grief group and they get together once a month but they all are happier than I am. I went to a counselor for awhile and it helped but she left town after her father was killed. I tried once with a new person and need to go back. I am a therapist myself which doesn't help at all. I haven't worked in quite awhile but do have a couple of informal "clients" I see pro bono. But, I have no desire to work even though I could use the money. Essentially I feel my life is over. I feel for anyone going through this.

Pater53 04/30/2018

Circe I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I felt much thje same way for weeks. One thing I know is that you have to let it out when the sorrow gets too much. Share with your family and friends. Talk about the good times and talk to him. That's what has helped me since my Brenda left me 3 months ago.

regwin 04/30/2018

My heart aches for you. I think it's a good idea to go stay with your daughter. Her love and support will help. Please know that in time you will feel somewhat better. Please be kind to yourself. Take the best care of yourself that you can. We are here and we care. Love and Hugs, Dolores

myhusbandisanangel 04/30/2018

I am so very sorry for your loss, and you are still in shock.. Please make sure you drink a lot of water, and I know it will be hard to do but do try to eat, even if it is very small, as you have to keep up your strength. Cry, cry and cry, scream if you have to as you have to let out everything. You are very raw right now and in a fog and you will be for a while. May I also suggest that you don’t make any big huge decisions as you are still hurting and aching for at least a year. Try to sleep with an item of your loved one, I sleep with my husbands shirt. When I lost my husband I have a small heart with a very small urn in it and I wear it around my neck when I do go out. That way he is with me where ever I go.
There is one thing I do promise you but it won’t happen for a while, but one day and I say one day you will start to have better days more than bad days. If you can please try to get grief counseling as soon as you can, I did and I even went to group therapy and it will help, that I do promise you.
You have come to the right place, and write as often as you want, we all have been here you have and we will be there for you always. May you find comfort here.
Big hugs Dianna

lovesloons 04/30/2018

Staying with your daughter and seeing your grandchildren is a wonderful idea. Don't let grief stop you from still enjoying your life. I know it sounds like hollow words but you will feel better. Give yourself time, be kind to yourself, don't shut people out or isolate yourself. Unfortunately, you have to grieve and let your broken heart heal. It's been 8 yrs for me and I miss my husband every single day, I talk to him all the time and look for signs like feathers and I do receive them. Do I still cry, sure on occasion, why wouldn't I cry for the love of my life. Don't listen to people who say, oh just get over it, you can't but you will find joy again. All of us are on this site looking for peace and understanding. Sending you warm thoughts and prayers.

lmj90 04/30/2018

I am so sorry for your loss. This is a path with rocky and sharp turns. Don't make any sudden decisions. The pain is still very raw and you are not prepared for any more change. I was forced to move out of my home and ended up changing jobs and those were two of the worst things I added to my grief. If you can just stay and feel each thing no matter how painful. Go stay with someone or have someone stay with you for a bit.
Take care of you as best you can. hugs
Lisa

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