I would not give them up, i can't give up most of my husbands clothes. he loved the joke nerdy shirts and wore them daily. Don't give them up. they mean something to you and that is all that matters.

Some things just hurt to part with. if you aren't ready then just keep them for awhile. I part with some stuff easier than others. It is odd how some things tear at our heart strings. Hugs!!!

This is a hard decision from my perspective. If the alternative was between keeping them or giving them to someone who did not need them the decision would be easy. Since this involves a needy family it is not clear to me.

I would ask you this .. assuming that your Bruce is looking down on you ... what would he do?

With love ... Tom.

I like Tom's answer & can only hope that someday I will be able to see past my own nose. I think this decision depends on how much time has gone by, if other members of your family might really want them, & the bottom line-are you ready? Right now I can't even throw away scraps of paper my husband jotted notes on or delete his cell phone #. The one thing I did let go of was that damn motorcycle. I couldn't bear to see that ever again. I was a "Harley" widow long before he died.

Don't give up stuff until you are ready. Some stuff I could give up quickly because they didn't really mean anything to either of us..some stuff I then gave up later..I'm going through the books and things yet again.

Only let gop of stuff when you are absolutely ready. Go back over stuff if need be.

I nearly offered something and then decided not too, luckily I'd said nothing. Maybe it's the best way to go, decide for sure you are going to let go of something, then decide how to. Don't get bounced into offering something until you've had that proper think.

I donated 99% of Cliff's clothes 6 weeks after he died. I knew that was what he would have wanted me to do, that's the kind of guy he was - give you the shirt off his back and all that. His small personal effects are set aside in a special box for my sons to go through whenever they are ready or want to. But I have asked my older son more than once what of his father's stuff he wants, as by rights he gets first choice as the eldest. His response was, "Dad wasn't about 'stuff' - that's not how I think of him." It's difficult to find the balance between what to keep and what to give away or get rid of, especially if you've got kids.

I am surrounded by things we acquired together - joint decisions for 30 years after all. As time passes, I let go of more and more 'stuff.' For me, it's helped let go of some of the pain, too, but that's just me. I'm moving out of the country this year and will be faced with getting rid of all of it, and I am sure there will be times when that is going to be difficult and painful.

If you're not comfortable giving his things away yet, then don't. Maybe there is some other way you could help that family get the boy his cleets, or perhaps it will be an opportunity for someone else to be generous. Hope this helps. Hugs, Martha

It is a tough thing to part with his clothes, shoes, golf clubs. What I did was ask my children if there is anything they would like to have. They are so happy to have their dads stuff. If you had that kind of reaction to giving up his soccer cleats, I would say that you did the right thing and you should keep them. They mean more to you than to a stranger. don't try to rush anything, it will all happen in time.

Wow, this is a deeply personal thing, giving their things away. I immediately had my grown sons go through my husband's clothes, simply because my husband was a very sharp dresser ... and those boys needed the clothes! They were not stingy and left tons of things. My husband was the type man who kept everything. There are leisure suits from the 60's in his "stuff"!

My husband's family had an antique shop. He grew up believing "things" were important. I grew up just the opposite. I have had a hard time knowing what to get rid of ... or not. I have said over and over I want all this "stuff" gone, yet I cannot seem to part with anything other than his clothes. I am keeping things around to pass on to kids/grand children, etc. What do ya'll think about that? ugh!

Not an easy question to answer. I can definately see the advantages of giving them to the child who needs them, but they also hold a deep meaning for you. My advice is to hold on them until you are able to look at them without the emotional baggage they represent.
You will always find someone who needs them when it's right for you to gift them. One of the important things about grieving is to take care of you. So that's what I advise. Hugs, Sharon

No idea what ball cleets are. So I can't tell how helpful my suggestions are.
It seems the ball cleets have sentimental value to you. Could you suggest another thrift shop that may sell ball cleets. Therefore satisfying the woman and her son and thereby keep your husband's ball cleets until if you're ever ready to give them up.
On a personal note I gave much of Jerry's clothes and other items to the local thrift. Hey that's me. What ever makes your toes tap.

Thanks so much to all of you for your advice. I still have the cleats and have not seen the family since. I was thrilled to be able to help that family until I saw the cleets again and for some reason I just couldnt let them go. I have come a long way with my grief and was taken back by my reaction to letting them go. I've decided to keep them until I'm ready to part with them.

I can not part with my husbands things. They are where he left them.
In the closet garage,and bathroom. I have given to my son in laws a few things that I know he would wnat them to have. I have also given some items to the grandsons that he would want them to have. But 99% of his things I still have. You need to do what feels right for you. If you have any doubt,keep them until you have peace.
A friend of mine did a very kind thing for me, she asked for some of his clothes that he wore most of the time and made me a quilt with them. I will always have this so maybe someday I will be able to give some of his things away.

Lori Im glad to see that you decided to keep them until you are ready to part with them. Your thoughts were in the right place thinking of the other family but if your not ready just give it somemore time. Just tonight I decided to try and go through Lance's clothes and personal items in our closet. I only made a little progress (it has been 15 1/2 months now for me) had to stop. It's still very difficult. Like some of the others said you will know when the time is right. You may even do it a little at a time, and several times. That is how it has been for me. I just pick an area that needs to be straightened up and do as much as I can, I may come back to it several times before it is done. The kids are also a big part of it too. I will pull out a few things and ask if they want it sometimes the answer is yes and other times I can still see the pain in their eyes so I just put it away and figure we will try it again another day. No hurry. I do like the quilt idea or even a stuffed teddy bear of his favorite clothes.
Just take it at your own pace. Hugs.

I feel that you need not make apologies for anything you want to hold onto, for whatever reason you have, it is good enough.
For me, I know I am in the minority, but I gave my husband's things away to family members if they wanted it. The less I had around here in the way of personal items like clothes and toiletries, the better it was for me. That's just how I handled it the easiest.
I kept other things that were his that had great sentimental value, such as things he received from work, his favorite pictures, that sort of thing. I could handle that better.
There is no right or wrong way. You do what you need to do and don't second-guess yourself.
Marilyn

This is by no means a recommendation for you, but just what I did with my guys baseball gear. He was a catcher and was addicted to buying all kinds of gear for himself and his guys. He had a good buddy that really loved him and played with him. I decided to keep a couple of things, like his glove and a uniform. The rest I gave it to him. It just didn't make sense for me to have it gather dust or be stored. He also played guitar and has 5 of them. This is a little harder for me to part with, I have only given 1 to his brother and 1 to a dear friend of mine. I don't play but I can't seem to part or store them. I think I would have to much guilt and longing for them back. It is hard to part with things, they might be material, but I can't.