Hello FJ I am so sorry for our loss. I am much farther on the journey than yourself and I my heart breaks for you. This place was a God send to me as I was also lost and had no idea how my life would continue. Sometimes just reading and writing things down here has helped me tremendously. Unfortunately the world does not stop when we become widowed, but ours does. My best advice for you at this time is to make sure you take care of your self and maybe keep coming back here to get more answers. Hugs to you.

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Hey fj,
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my wife in June. The pain of the loss is so overwhelming. When she passed, I felt the need to connect with others as I didn't know anyone in my shoes. I came here, began journaling and talking to people. It's helped as the people here are very supportive. My advice right now? Do what you need to do to get through a day. Cry when it comes. Sleep if you can. Remember to eat something every once in a while. Sending a hug and some love your way. Justin

Welcome fj, I'm so sorry for your loss. It will take time to accept and adjust. We seem to stay in a fog for a while. The tears seem to come at the most unexpected times, but that is what grief does. There are grief and bereavement groups that you may benefit from. A group helped me tremendously. My loss was almost twelve years ago and I have carved out a new life, but I never forget how I felt and the kindness of so many. I try to return the love where needed. Try to do the best you can with each day. The people here have all had a loss. They understand what you are going through. Visit here as often as you need to. My thoughts for strength and peace are with you. Love and Hugs, Dolores

Im in the same place as you FJ. I also cry daily several times a day. When I think that I will never talk to him again hear his voice feel the touch of his hand the pain is unbearable. We were best friends and spent every available minute together, life holds no joy for me anymore. Everyone tells me it will get better, I don't want to "get over it" because that feels like Im negating his importance to me. Im just a mess of emotions.

I understand completely. I drove his truck to work this morning and on the floorboard was a T-shirt. I picked it up and pressed it to my face deeply inhaling his scent. I rode the rest of the way to my office with his shirt clutched to my chest through a veil of tears and yelling at God "WHY?!?!".

All I can think of is the "never". Never talk to him again-never touch his face again-all the plans we had that will never be realized. Its been 2 weeks tomorrow I haven't washed our sheets because I cant bear washing away his scent I haven't moved any of his stuff because doing that will erase the last traces of him. I feel paralyzed to do anything I go to work and try to keep it together and then cry all the way home. Im so angry that he had so much living left to do and now that's been taken from him.

I understand. I sleep with my daughter in her bedroom but everyday after work. curl up in our bed, hold his pillow and a work shirt that smells like him and wail! The kids threw away the sheets and quilt on our bed because he died on our bed and the EMTs used our quilt to cover his body in our bedroom. I vacillate between wishing I still had them and being glad they are gone. I really just want him back!

This is a safe place to vent. We all experienced great loss, and understood deeply the despair of never.

Hello fj,

I'm almost 11 months out. I sort of remember the days and weeks following his death. What a fog. I sometimes think it still clouds up around me from time to time. I'm so sorry you're here, too. That we all are. But finding a community is so important in showing you're not alone, you can share your grief and support others in theirs. That's called healing. If you aren't already, use the "Journal" feature on this site. I've been journaling every day since 11 days out. I recently changed my journal into a gratitude journal and it really helps my mindset for the day. Wishing you peace. And hoping you are caring for yourself.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost mine also on 22 Aug 2018. Its been tough but pushing through day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Im unsure of many things in my life but it helps me to write in a journal to him. We used to talk a lot and have secret jokes and signs to each other so I need to carry that on in my journal to help me through each and every day. I cry daily also and Im not going to tell you it gets better because its different for everyone I've discovered. Hugs from me, stay strong....Im here if you need to talk.