Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I found out why my husband died and have slipped so far backwards again. I have to find a wrongful death attorney and file a suite when I thought this "busy work" would be finished.
To top it off I am having surgery next month on my back and have to remodel my room before the surgery. Then change my son's room after my surgery. We are setting up new rooms to go with our new life.
I worked and my husband stayed home with our then three old son. When my husband suddenly died at such a young age, I lost my job and now stay home to make sure my son recovers the best he can at such a young age.
I have been talking about redoing my bedroom and decided that was going to be my present to myself. I am painting, adding a ceiling fan, new bed and maybe new furniture. For once in my life I am going to be able to make my room look the way I want. It's really sad and scarey at the same time.
I don't know how I made it to six months. I focus so much on the minute to minute and my son so time just goes by. When this first happened, my Mom told me:
"You are about to cross a bridge in your life and it can be done two ways. You can cross it with your head held high OR kicking and screaming. Either way you are going to cross the bridge. Why not do with your head held as high as possible? Make him proud of you and how you show your son to lose a loved one with respect. You won't be able to do it everyday but try as hard as you can so you can also be proud of yourself.
So far she has been totally right.
Some days I refuse to be okay with my husband death
Some days I get scared that I am now a single Mom
Some days I just don't think I will make it through this nightmare
But then I look at our son and know I have a job to do
To top it off I am having surgery next month on my back and have to remodel my room before the surgery. Then change my son's room after my surgery. We are setting up new rooms to go with our new life.
I worked and my husband stayed home with our then three old son. When my husband suddenly died at such a young age, I lost my job and now stay home to make sure my son recovers the best he can at such a young age.
I have been talking about redoing my bedroom and decided that was going to be my present to myself. I am painting, adding a ceiling fan, new bed and maybe new furniture. For once in my life I am going to be able to make my room look the way I want. It's really sad and scarey at the same time.
I don't know how I made it to six months. I focus so much on the minute to minute and my son so time just goes by. When this first happened, my Mom told me:
"You are about to cross a bridge in your life and it can be done two ways. You can cross it with your head held high OR kicking and screaming. Either way you are going to cross the bridge. Why not do with your head held as high as possible? Make him proud of you and how you show your son to lose a loved one with respect. You won't be able to do it everyday but try as hard as you can so you can also be proud of yourself.
So far she has been totally right.
Some days I refuse to be okay with my husband death
Some days I get scared that I am now a single Mom
Some days I just don't think I will make it through this nightmare
But then I look at our son and know I have a job to do
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Old Hillbilly Wisdom:Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.The best sermons are lived, not preached.If you don't take the time to do it right, you'll find the...
Your post was very helpful to me. It echoes some of the things I have thought were true, but it's always good to see through the eyes of another.
Your mother is wise...crossing that bridge. I can see you holding your son's hand in a confident manner and crossing the bridge. This poor three-year-old can hardly comprehend what has happened. I am glad you have strong support in your life.
I like your idea of having your very own style of bedroom. That is a great goal and positive.
Good luck on your surgery, with all of your upcoming tasks, and happy birthday, sending hugs to you.
Mystic
We are told there will be tribulation if we live in this world and we have to survive the best we can. I have a tremendous respect for those like you who have the added responsibility of raising a little one or two. It has to be hard but you are right you have a purpose like all of us and right now yours is clear. You can be certain your husband would wish for you to put your child first. Keep your faith and trust.
Peace, Tim