You were good, you reached out to her to find her number. They're the ones who distanced themselves...What a coincidence, his passing the same day.
My husband's family is the same way. No contact for months now. Today my husband died 5 months ago. It's also his deceased Dad's birthday, I think(Sr). I wish they would contact me, but it's a double-edged sword,- they can't be trusted in everything. I didn't have much contact before my husband died so no changes really. I didn't meet his sister face to face til after his death, and I've never met his brother, just spoke with over phone.

I hope you are coping more and more with your loss. Every day is a challenge of missing. Every morning having to abandon your hope of being with them here again. A memory is a sad substitute companion for them...but it's all we have. Jesus is the cure for death ("I have the keys of death and of Hades" and so we wait for him.

I don't know why families become distanced but mine is similar. My friends and immediate family have been great but people I thought cared about my guy never came to his funeral. And made promises that were broken. I think by contacting her and finding her number you acted in support of her. I'm sorry they haven't been more supportive to you. We have to take care of ourselves and if others distance from us that's their loss. It's still irritates me that some people in my group didn't show up after they said they would and now avoid me I guess it's something I've got to let go still. Tomorrow would be my sweeties 51st bday and I'm feeling extra touchy. Hugs to you and don't feel guilty about anything. You're a good person who reached out despite the fact that your sister in law didn't keep in touch.

I think you've been more than gracious with her. Certainly more than she's done for you. When I lost my husband almost six months ago one of my sisters barely kept in touch with me. Her husband had been sick for nearly 20 years and on deaths door many times. I was so angry at her that I lost my beloved husband and she still had hers. Terrible, I know, but I just couldn't help myself. Well her husband died in May and now I hear from her all the time. She certainly understands now. And I'm trying to be better to her than she was to me.

Sometimes we just have to take care of ourselves. Hugs to you.

Oh, Uniz. Strange how our address book changes so drastically. One you thought were your friends, bail big time. But there be some that really do get it, honestly and sincerely caring and loving us. My heart will always go out to anyone that has suffered such a loss as ours. In your circumstance, seems you did way better than me. Just remember, no rules, no rights and no wrongs. You do what you've got to do to get better. For me, getting rid of toxic relationships was extremely important for my healing, because I just had nothing left to fight for my peace. So one by one, I cut them out of my life. You've got to do whatever it takes to preserve whatever inner peace you can hang on to. Anyone that jeopardized my peace, well, I had energy only to let them go. Conflict puts us over the edge way too easy in the throws of our grief. We do what we gotta do, understanding that we have only ourselves to answer to. As for God, well He is actually carrying everyone of us whether we realize it or not. And He loves us no matter what. ~~~ Scottie