Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Missing the physical touch

mclizm
mclizm
Looking for some advice. My husband died last July and I'm noticing lately that I'm missing his physical prescence more and more. Not necessarily the passion. Chemo and terminal illness are enough to extinguish anyone's libido! I'm talking more about that welcome home hug and kiss, the warm body in the bed. Holding hands, that side of marriage. I'm certainly not ready to consider dating although the thought of some meaningless physical contact has crossed my mind from time to time. I'm sure that would only add another layer of complications. A hug from a friend is nice but just not the same. I'm sure it stems from missing that feeling of being loved by your someone special. I'm interested to hear how others, men & women, have got through this stage of grief. Thanks for your feedback. Liz

P.S. I managed to write this without any tears. So proud of myself :)
Newbeginning2014
Newbeginning2014
Really do miss being hugged and cuddling at night.
sassiesoftail
sassiesoftail
Something I have recently learned about myself. I would get annoyed at Tim that he needed so much attention. Weather it be physical contact or daily texts or calls.
I was a flight attendant so I would be gone 4 days a week working.
I have learned that I need exactly what he gave me. I thought it was him being needy, but I think it was him being who I needed him to be.
I don't know how to ask for what I need so moving on to another relationship is going to be difficult expressing my needs.
But like everyone else I miss the physical touch. Looking back I realize that we were always touching. Walking, driving, watching TV no matter what we were doing.
Hugs, Sandi
ramar
ramar
This topic makes me think. Ray and I were so comfortable with each other as many of you are after years together. When I was young new realtionships were exciting, now thinking about a new relationship is scarey. But I'm only 61 and don't like thinking I may be alone for the rest of my life which could be 20 years or more. Ray was not a cuddly kind of guy, didn't like holidays or buying gifts, but he was strong and smart and we had great conversations. I talk to his picture over the fireplace now, I really miss his company, knowing he was there for me and loved me was awesome..
handg
handg
It's been two years and it is that special contact with the person who has your heart that I miss. I would be doing dishes and he would come behind me and suddenly grab my sides lightly knowing that I was ticklish and I would get so annoyed with him as he would laugh so hard for once again getting me...I missed that so much ...I just finished being sick for weeks and it drove home how much I miss his caring love, his asking me if I needed anything...The look in his eyes filled with love is something no one can give me . I have made myself come to terms with this . At 50 I would one day like to find someone to talk to in the way that one talks to someone special, go for walks, laugh together but it scares the heck out of me...