I am so sorry for your loss. We all know and understand the pain your are going through. Take it one moment at a time. Get help if you need to. This site has helped me a lot just knowing we have support here. I am with you that I don't want to forget my beloved husband. Our love ones will always be in our hearts and memories. Take care and hugs stop you.

OOPs, I meant hugs to you. Sorry for the misspell.

Scott, I am so sorry for your loss and for your pain. I am at 32 months today. You never forget your loved ones. But it does get easier as time goes by. You just find a place in your heart, tuck them safely inside, and learn slowly how to move on...My best to you in these trying times. Sandee

Scott I am so truly sorry about you losing your wife. You will never forget her or your wonderful life together. The pain will ease just with time. Maybe just bit by bit. I have found this site to be a life saver for me. The people here get what you are going through. Sadly we have all lost the most important one's in our lives. Come here when you feel like ranting, you are angry, you just need a shoulder to cry on or just want to share your thoughts. We are all traveling this agonizing journey together. Hugs and Love, Michele

Scott, so sorry for the loss of your precious wife. My husband passed from a stage iv cancer after 27 years of marriage. I joined a support group and it helped me with sharing and trying to be a friend to the newcomers. Still rough going because I have no family in my area. You are a caring spouse to be at your wife's side at the ICU until her passing and holding her hand until the end. You were a great comfort to her. Much peace to you...

Scott,
You have come to the right place for comfort and support. We're all here for you. You have a hard journey ahead, but there are many here who have gotten through it. They will be here to guide you, as they have guided all of us who are new to this grief.

Warm hugs,
Linda

Scott, I was also holding my wife's hand and talking to her when her heart stopped. That was 8 months ago. At 4 weeks I was a wreck, didn't know how I could stand so much pain...You don't have to listen to what most people tell you. Most people don't know what they're talking about. A friend at work lost his wife 8 years ago; he still thinks of her every day. He, and I, gradually became more functional. The pain is there but it doesn't stop you from living, at least not most of the time. I agree, you don't want to forget her. In fact, you want to honor her life.

I'm so sorry for your loss...I lost my husband in March, also to liver failure. He died only 2 months after being diagnosed with ESLD. He wasn't a 'good candidate' for liver transplant (apparently), and therefore was not put on the list. I tried to offer half of my liver, but they said it wouldn't work. It's a horrible illness,especially having to watch someone you love so much suffer with it. I kept hoping for a miracle...I would always tell him 'it's not over until it's over'..I tried to get him home for his last days, but that didn't happen.
People, for the most part, have good intentions when they try to offer advice..but nobody knows what this is really like if they have not gone through it themselves...I can't offer any advice on when the pain will go away, because I'm nearly 7 months into this, and it hasn't gone...I just miss him more. Best I can say is deal with each day, each minute at a time, and try not to self destruct...it's so hard, and so unfair, and I really feel for you. Again, I'm so sorry. Take care, Wendi

You are welcome among us Scott. All we can do is listen to your words and let you know we know what it is like. Read and you will learn quickly that what you are feeling is perfectly normal. I think I gained alot of peace in finding out that it wasn't just me. You've lost to what most of us was our most important part - and it takes time, much time, to heal enough to even function semi-normally again. Write as you can, anyway, I find it helps me to purge. God bless and comfort you ~ Scott

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm currently at five months and it gets a little bit easier with each day. I am so sorry you have to be part of a group that no one wants to be part of, but it is a great group to be a part of. stay as strong as you wan to.

Jennifer

I am so very sorry for your loss. Of course you're in a daze, your pain is so raw.
You're not alone, just remember we're here to try to help.
Lean on your family and friends, let people help you.
Make sure you take care of yourself, sometimes in our grief we forget to eat or get enough sleep.

Hugs,
Janie

All I know is what I've been told. The pain never stops, it just just seem to be at the forefront, 24/7 as time passes. I have gotten a bit better, but on certain days, like friday nights, when sean would be home by 7 and Id have him all weekend, that night is by far the worst for me. Time I believe doesnt heal he wound, you just come to terms of acceptance, and in knowing someday you may see your wife again, depending upon what you believe. I just take a minute at a time sometimes, and sometimes, if its a really bad day, a second in between the next. big hugs and so sorry your going through this, but we are all here for you. carla

So sorry for your lost ... To answer your question , the pain will be less severe if you work through the grieve and coming here is an excellent tool. Like the saying something to the effect "You must learn to walk before you can run " Grieve will force you to take things slow and be good to yourself. Right now your main goal is surviving by taking it one day at a time, in the beginning I had to break that time to 1 minute at a time . I got on the roller coaster ride called grieve and was assaulted by so many all over the place emotions . You function because you have to but you function at the bear minimum just enough to survive.
I remember telling my kids," guys I love you and I want you to come to me and I will be there but right now, if I am going to survive this I need to be selfish and work on getting better. "
Work may be on your schedule and that is hard but when you are back home, allow the pain to come so that you can let it out. It allows grieve to do it's thing.. Don't be surprise if you get it by waves (OK let's be honest here and say Tsunami ) of emotions. One minute you are crying, the next laughing like crazy at something that is not even funny and then feeling guilty for laughing ...A therapist told me early on that the first 3 months of grieving I should not pay attention to well meaning advice from others who had no clue and that anything I felt like doing or not doing was acceptable as long as I showered and ate. After 3 months you then start grieving in a more responsible way (Again everyone is different , grieve is unique to each individual) . Talking it out here or with someone you can open up to will help. Here is great because I remember wanting to talk about over and over about what had happen but felt like a broken record or as if I was imposing on family and friends. They just could not comprehend. Here no one judges you or gets frustrated , we are all swimming against the current.
In the beginning I took comfort in grabbing his robe and wrapping myself in it or just grabbing one of his shirt and cry myself to sleep. The tears I have shed probably would have taken care of the drought in some areas. Just when I thought I could not possibly cry anymore, another wave would hit but then something happen, the tide shifted and while the waves still came they were further apart and eventually not has ferocious.
The saying to wait a year for important decision making probably came from the fact that for that year we are caught between who we were and who we are having to become.
Now I'm rambling... Vent, rant, talk it out someone will always be here to listen ... At 32 months I am amazed at where I am at in my journey. It didn't happen overnight but one day it was there.

Scott, I am sorry for your pain. I too was holding my wife's hand when she passed. Absolutely the worst day of my life. I will be at 8 months tomorrow and although I am handling the grief better than I was early on it still hits me every single day. I tell people I will never get over this, ever! but I will get through it. Take care ~Pete.

My husband died of liver cancer 9 months ago. The first few months were a fog of pain. Slowly that eases a bit to where hopefully you are able to function. Come here often it does help to know that people are walking the same path. Hugs Patti