I am also very sorry for your horrible loss. The only thing I can do is give you a big hug ((((((((((((((((Kwiker88)))))))))))))))))).
I pray things will get better for you.

All I can add to these remarks is that I, too, am so very, very sorry you lost your husband SO SOON after your marriage. I cannot imagine that pain. I truly sympathize with you and all the things you shared. My husband died in Dec.2009 of lung cancer. It does get somewhat easier (more routine) but the pain will always be there. My husband's death and Christmas were one event that year. It will always be sad on these special days. Glad you found this site!

I can't imagine your pain, your story is gut wrenching. It's been 8 wks for me it's hard every second. we share the same b'day he would be 60 not looking forward to that day at all

I cannot imagine the depth of your loss..........am so sorry.....it has been a bit over 2 1/2 yrs since my love died and I have found that for me sometimes the anticipation of the day is worst than the actuality............as someone posted the other day....grief has no finish line..........we all know that only too well...........hugs.Lori

Made it through my husband's 40th birthday yesterday. Next milestone.... the entire month of November.

Peace to you. My prayers are with you.. Darleen

All the milestones are hard, but they do get a little easier to face over time. I lost Cliff in November 2007. Like NewRoads, that "holiday season" was a blur for me. It sure was hard finding anything to feel thankful for that Thanksgiving! Each year milestone has been difficult. I thought maybe the 4th year wouldn't be so bad. It turned out just about as bad as the previous years. The biggest difference is that now I know I will get through those days because I have got through the previous ones.

I use those days for reflection as best I can. I have journaled about my feelings on those days. That has helped. The 2nd anniversary, in November 2009, I narrowly escaped being killed in an auto accident. That took a lot of work to get through emotionally, too.

I got counseling after Cliff died, and whenever I needed it, I would check back in with my counselor. That might be helpful for you, too.

The other thing I wanted to suggest for you is a book that really helped me a lot. I read a few grief books, most did little for me, except this one: "Seven Choices - Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World" by Elizabeth Harper Neeld, PhD. Your public library may have it, or Amazon has the paperback for about $10 (about 10 from Amazon-UK). If you read no other grief books, try to get this one.

I hope this helps. I am so glad you found us, too.

Love and Hugs,
Martha