My daughter got a tattoo on her calf in memory of her father. It's very tastefully done and has Dad on it. My girlfriend has her husbands name on the lower part of her chest so it's covered by a blouse or tank top. Personally I like tatoo's so it appeals to me. I have a hummingbird on my back shoulder and a bear on my ankle. Both of them I've had for years.

Let me caution you though and it's not to discourage you because as I said I have two tatoo's. Just think 10 years down the road. It's very early in your grief and although it may seem like a perfect idea now it may not always be. I would advise waiting at least til next summer before making it final. If you still feel the same then go for it. :) Sharon

My husband's daughter got a tattoo quite large on her upper arm/shoulder with his name on it. We tried to convince her not to get tattoos at least so visible then she got one on the other side to balance and is thinking of more. His son wanted to get one using some of the ashes but I did research and it's not a good idea. I had thought of a small hummingbird just above my heart but I am not sure. I have never been into body art. I carry him in my heart.

Thanks for the comments, this will be my second, and only those that I want to see the initials will. I like the concept of the Phoenix, the bird is eternal. Hugs, Wendy

This brings up a good subject. I have a thing about tatoos, and I do not know where it comes from. It is not like me in other areas in my life. I hate tatoos. I love skin...yes, white, pink, black, brown, yellow, red...I think skin is beautiful and I hate to see people cover it up, like anything is more beautiful than the skin we were born with.

It is not like me because I do not have the same problem with ear piercings. I actually do not like body piercings. My daughter got her belly button pierced at 16...her step mother signed for her and I went through the roof.

I just do not know where this comes from. I am happy for people finding a way to express themselves and their loss, and I am happy for you that you have found a way to honor your husband and nephew.

I thought about getting a very small tatoo in a place that no one would see it just to get over this negative attitude that I have about them because I feel like I need to grow up about it or something.

But in the end I still hate them. The more there are, the more negative my reaction. I guess I have seen so many turn blue and get so wrinkled and wonder if this elderly man or that elderly woman really thought about what the end result would look like after the colors faded and the years wrinkled the skin.

Anyway, even though I can be happy for you, and a Phoenix Rising sounds like a great idea, this brought up this negative attitude in me. I would love for Dr. Phil to figure out this one for me.

Good luck on Saturday.
hugs..
-Diana

My husband got a tattoo every place he went in the military..along with all the other guys in his unit. I will not go there. First of all, it hurts like hell. If I want to experience that much pain, I will stick my finger under the sewing machine needle. Second, for job related reasons, I will not go there. To get one where it won't show involves me exposing myself to the tattoo person...can't go there. Give it some more thought, please. Kaaren

My brother-in-law had a couple done in memory of his son, who died last August. My nephew has one on his shoulder, in memory of his father.

Personally, for me, I don't need to "too" my body in honor of my husband's memory. I hold love and his memory in my heart, plus a co-worker is making me a memory bracelet.

My husband didn't like tattoos on women. He was old school and thought it made a woman look cheap. To me they look cool on younger girls, but have you ever seen a senior woman with a tattoo? I have, and it isn't a pretty sight.

No offense to anyone- just my heartfelt opinion.

Blessings, Debbie

I have never been into tattoos but was contemplating getting a "zuni bear" tattooed over my heart. Since it is permanent and we are warned against making permanent changes in the first year I am waiting.

But if you need a smile, there was a great SNL bit on what happens to tattoos over time:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/61336/saturday-night-live-turlingtons-lower-back-tattoo-remover

Had this tattoo done in April for my husband Buddy..he always wanted his name on my body...I love it and have got a lot of complements on it...I am glad I had it done....go for it and enjoy...don't think you are ever too old for a tattoo...

Just got mine. I waited about 2 years though so that I really thought it through. My husband had none. If you do a tat, you do it for you.

As for the getting old. Working in the nursing home I have seen "one" woman who really looked remarkable on her death bed and well, respectfully, the rest looked like slid into home plate. Scars from accidents, heart surgeries, babies, stretch marks, lost limbs, mastectomies and the list goes on.

Wendy, you have spunk and personality. You will "wear/not" wear whatever you decide to do well.

They aren't my cup of tea.... but if you want it, get it. It's your body! Isn't that what being a full blown adult is alll about, being free to make our own decisions...... and living with the consequences?

Hope it doesn't hurt to much!

Post a picture. I have my eye-liner tattooed (don't think I spelled that correctly) on.....did it 25 years ago.......and it HURT like the dickens. I am sure the technology has changed and it is probably not as painful. You can let us know when you post the picture. Good luck!!
Hugs, Dianne

Shortly after my parents lost their lives in a plane crash 25 years ago, a friend and I went to Hawaii for a week. I was 37 at the time, and I was really hurting. After too many beers, I happened upon a tattoo shop and went in out of drunken curiosity. Making a long story short, I obtained a tattoo of 2 hearts pierced by an arrow, with the words "MOM" & "DAD" on a ribbon above the hearts. I had it put on my left arm at the shoulder so that i could hide it if need be. Although I quit drinking 3 years later, I have NEVER regretted getting the tattoo. It's a part of me just as my Mom & Dad were a part of me. So go for it, Wendy, if it will help you. Your Pat was a lucky man.......Joe

My daughter had a beautiful one place on the inside of her wrist saying Daddy in a scroll heart design its beautiful I say go for it if thats what you like, I have always been against tatoos for fear of getting bored with it, but with the loss of my husband I have been considering it.

Tatoos - interesting topic. I'm not fond of them, and know so many woman who wish they had not, or at least gotten them in spots that don't show, for job and social reasons. It's wierd, my daughter has a nose piercing, and it does not bug me a bit but I am really upset that my other daughter got a tatoo on her hip. Go figure. They just seem cheap to me, and as we age, they tend to bleed. My sister got one on her bikini area before she had kids. It started out as a lovely angel (her husband's name is Angel) and now, after 3 kid, it looks like a gargoyl.
I might only caution you to wait few more months in your grieving to do this, though. Grief changes us, and you still may want a tatoo, but you may want something different or in a different place. Skin is beautiful, so I would just give it some more time.
hugs,

Thanks for all your posts, I will put up a picture when I learn how!!!
Hugs, Wendy