I lost my husband 0f 42 years one month and one day ago.  While we knew he was dying from heart trouble and kidney failure, he went to soon. We were transfering him from his wheel chair into the car for dialysis.  He had laid back the seat so it was easier to get in and we were trying to sit him up.  I couldn't help him from the drivers side so I walked around the car to the passenger side. By the time I got there he was gone...I didn't get to say goodbye or I love you.

We knew what kind of death we were facing when he couldn't get to dialysis and were expecting time to say goodbye.

I still haven't cried as much as I expected, I'm still numb...I'm crying inside.

I had used up my year of fmla and decided to quit my job to take care of him, he couldn't drive anymore so I was driving him to the dr. visits and dialysis.  He lived a month after I quit. I lost all my benifits from working fifteen years, so I don't want to go back. I'm hopeing to go to work part time here in town.