Need help now! Not repeated old posts! But thank you!

Well, I stumbled in here at about 3 months. Saved my life. I found reading the old posts began to educate me about something I had no clue about. And once I started to write, it helped. Everyone is here to help each other stand when not a one of us can even crawl. But somehow, we make it through it, and you will too. Time, time and more time. Nothing worse. Remember the gems. ~~~ Scottie

Hi... I came across this site maybe a week or 2 ago. I love my husband 3 months ago today. We are all here to help each other. It isn't easy but we are all here for you. Hugs to you.

Hi Betts, slow down a minute and tell us what happened, and while you're doing that look for a grief group that you can join. I belong to one and although it is not going to solve anything, it is one of the tools that I use to help me. It gets me out of the house and gives me a chance to talk to people like us face to face. The more tools you have to work with the better.
This is the worse event you will ever have to deal with and it is not easy believe me when I tell you. We've all been at the doorstep of this hell ride, through the emotional torture chamber, but none of us are finished, hell I don't think there is a finish line. The thing is, you must stay on the track, don't run off the rails and do something crazy. I'm sure all of us wanted to get off the planet at some point, but you are here for a purpose; perhaps you'll find it some day, but in the meantime, come here everyday and read the posts, someone new shows up everyday just like Scottito, LaaLaa and myself. There's plenty of room in here and lots of damaged people just like you.
We help mend each other, if not directly than from a distance, but we are here for you and one day you will be here for us, but please keep coming. I get way more out of this place than the grief group.
Peace and love to you.

Hi betts, believe me when I say there is not one of us who post on this site, that haven't experienced the loss and pain you are going through right now..
First off see your doctor, I waited until I was 5 months in before I went on my daughters insistence.
I wish I had gone sooner. For me anxiety was the worst, My doctor gave me something for it and helped me too function..I also found having a daily routine helped also, sometimes repetition is good..Ask for help if you need it and don't expect other people to call you all the time..sometimes we have to make the effort..Cry, scream and talk to your husband daily, and ask him to help you..I have and have received many signs from my skeptic, Dennis that he's still here as have my daughters..
Another thing don't waste your emotions on guilt, it is a useless emotion and its only purpose is too torture us..and it changes nothing..
I'm almost 21 months in since losing Dennis, he passed in his sleep and I found him..
Believe me, Betts it will get better, you have to go straight through grieve there are not short cuts, unfortunately...And never ever let other people tell you should be over your loss in X amount of time..You know what you're feeling...Come here often there are many wonderful people here to share and help..Please tell us about your husband and always use his name..

This site literally saved my life..I found it a couple of months after Dennis passed..I just returned a couple months a go after being gone for a few months..
I now have less sad days and find it's OK to smile and enjoy life again..Because Dennis would never want me to go on suffering..I know he loved me and I loved him that will never change.I miss him everyday, but, I'll see him again, I have no doubt..
Take care, Betts, peace and many hugs..Gail..

When someone we Love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasurer...

THANK YOU! I just didnt know if anyone was really here. Thank you for responding & sharing!!! I hope someday I can speak such great words of wisdom on this site, I came back....Thats a start, right???

Betts where here for you so you are not alone, lost my love as well, 28 of every month is going to be a day I'll never forget, try to keep going big hug mick.

I'm in my fifties, too. The word 'widow'. seems totally alien,. Who is this person in the mirror staring back with empty eyes. His voice is still in my ears, his smile still before my eyes, and his hand still clutches mine, doesn't it? Or was it only a dream all along, too good to be true or to last. Which life is real? Do I get to choose?

We each will grieve in our own way
We each will grieve in our own time

Keep busy, do you have a hobby?? yoga, walking? I have been walking the mall during the winter months.
A local hospital or church may sponsor a support group. It's beneficial to talk with others who have experienced the same loss.
You are reaching out to this site, you are progressing, give yourself credit, it's a positive step:-)
Keep the faith
jdp

Thank you all....I can relate to all of you in one way or actually every way! I will Journal my story, its just hard as it is for all of us....Thank you for caring & may God bless us all.
Betts

Baby steps..trying to do too much landed me in the Psych ward. Since then I have learned how to be Grateful and Pray . Breathing Deeply helps when i feel too anxious and exercising . There is only two people in my family who understand the agony I am going through. My other half just died,learning to live without him is the hardest endeavour i have ever experienced . This feeling of Dread every day..thats where the praying and breathing help me. I have no appetite either so i make myself take Omega 3 pills which were my husbands actually i had them for him. There is a light and it comes in small bursts..Value yourself and show self compassion too. We are only human. If i have learned anything here it is that. ( Hugs)

Hi Betts,
I just read your response to my last post and I'm happy that you know we are here for you. If you are still angry at God, try to put that behind you for a day and go to the airport. When you get there go into the arrival area as deep as you can and watch. You will see people greeting people, expressions of love, happy smiling faces of children and people who had faith that God would get them to their destination safely.
The first time I was waiting to board a plane six weeks after my wife passed, I wanted God to plunge the plane into the earth, but when I took my seat and saw all of the other people on board I changed my mind. I asked God to call off my request and let me and these people who are strangers to me to arrive safely. There were hugs and kisses inside the terminal and it gave me hope that one day when I step through the door to my home, someone with a beautiful heart will be waiting for me.
Love and hugs to you,
Sebastian

I'm reading older posts trying to get through another 24 hours. Thank you every one for being honest and helping one another on this nightmare that is real.