gee.... i don't fit in anywhere..... too young for the hospice group, too old for drews group......

I have a lot of a lot of friends here. I am not saying that you don't help I am saying that I have yet to meet anyone my age. I am just curious. It depresses me that I am too young for this. It happened and I am here but none of my friends are here. I enjoy this group a lot. I do not regret being here. I am sorry I shared this with u In no way did I mean to hurt any of you. Please disregaurd this post if you find it offensive. I have not met anyone close to my age or younger and that depresses me. I just would like to know that their is someone else out their closer to my age.

I am in this group and am glad to be here I didn't mean to upset any of you If this hurt your feelings I just wont post anymore I will just make comments

Hey. My name is Steph. I'm not exactly your age, but I'm 23. I lost my boyfriend almost 6 months ago. So yess, this sure does happen to all age groups and it simply sucks. Life is really hard I've decided. Nothing is ever easy. But if you do ever need anything, I'm here, as well as everyone else on this site. They are simply great. :)

I am not offended that you are seeking more commonality, yet, being 32 y.o widower is rather atypical, therefore it could challenging to find a group exclusively of this age category.
Check with your local Mental Health Association, they might have a grief recovery group that demographically suits you.
If you are in a large city, you might want to create your own group of young widow/ers through a MeetUp.
Good luck

Drew there is a site Widowed Village.org that could be something your looking for. I don't like all the confusion there, lol but you could benefit.

Drew: I lost my first husband at age 32, and then my second husband at age 52. ( he passed away March 16th,2013 )
I was married 10 years to my first husband, and 15 years to my second husband.. I certainly remember 20 years ago, and my greif now.

Drew,
I am not offended by your post. I just turned 42 I lost my husband in April 2013. It has been hard but I try my hardest to get though it. I have animals that keep me busy and roomates. I had 2 people move in with me because I also have medical condition that I have to be concerned about.

Drew loss is loss. I joined a bereavement froup for young widow and widowers. The age requirement was up to 59. We have all bonded I am leaning towards the older end of the spectrum. The youngest is about your age. I'd recommend joining something like that. It was an 8 week group we met Weds evenings and the fascilitator always had a subject to discuss. We plan to meet 1-2 times a month on our own and hopefully continued get togethers. Look in your area. Some people drove a distance to go. The 1st 2 meetings I was not into it but someone told me stick with it you'll be happy. I did and I am so glad I did.

I am not offended drew. It just seems kind of strange that the hospice group said I was too young. 64.....I had been married almost 50 years. I didn't think hospice had a age thing?....I completely understand how diffecult being a widower at your age must be. you need to be among people around your age. and have activies... (wold just make me feel older)......lol.......you still have a lifetime left to live...(((((hugs))))

Hi...I'm 42...I lost my husband in November 2012,after 7 months of marriage....I understand!!

Did you try asking at your church? Maybe your pastor could help. I think we have some things in common and some things not, so I am not offended. Hugs, Jo

Im Angie and im 28 i lost my husband in December

I am 32. I understand where you come from with wanting to connect with those around your own age. There is not much out there along the line of live groups unless you live in a large community.

Regarding the comment about being too young to join the hospice group: my aunt is 60 and she was told the same thing. She said the class was mostly ladies in their 80's that had no clue how to function on their own.

Maggie

Hi Drew,

I'm a widower. I'm 31. My wife came home from work and died some 11 months ago. Married 7 years. The most incredible woman I ever met - as I told people so many times when she was alive. And some people said the same back to me.

Tried some message boards for a while, but I don't relate to a lot of it. Perhaps partly because it seems to be mostly widows and older people. Maybe friends of younger widow/ers find it harder to stick around, because they are younger themselves. Certainly both me and the only other person our age I've spoken to found that nearly all their friends deserted them, even more than other people talked about.

But I think I find it hard to relate to many posts on widow/er groups just because I look at things a bit differently. Most people seem talk of becoming a 'different person' but that is something I would really like to avoid. Most people want to find someone else, but I don't want to ever do that. Most people seem interested in 'feeling better' or at least 'getting better', but to me the pain isn't very important and there's no sense of getting better other than my wife coming back to life. Not that I want the pain; it just doesn't matter one way or the other. It's just got to be endured.

Ach - I'm rambling. It's dawn and I should try to sleep before work.

Take care mate,

Kit

I am having problems with my CPU. tried to message fruitsandflowers but couldn't so I will just respond here. I don't understand how you couldn't have changed. Part of your soul was ripped from you and that didn't change you. I can obviously tell you are still in mourning by your response. Did you feel this constant despair before your wife died. No probably not! So If you constantly moped around before your wife died then it didn't change who you are. But if you were once happy in the arms of your wife, feeling the touch of her lips on yours then yes it did change you. I endured through 2 years of my wife slowly drifting away. I lost my mind. lost custody of my son because I lost my mind, and I took care of my domented father while all this happened. when my wife died I went through a second hell. my life changed in so many ways its unfathomable. I don't know the person I was 2 years ago before my wife became deathly ill.