I was really enjoying it, since we didn't get our first choice. Loved the peace and serenity and having a safe place to lock the door, do what I want, wear what I want, act how I need to, read or embroider or organize, etc. I have friends who are divorced and they say NO remarriage - they want to lock the door at the end of the evening and only they are on their side of the door. There's a lot to that.

My daughter and her family moved in with me just two weeks ago and I was afraid it would be very bad for me, disturbing my privacy and silence. It's been really good, though. But I don't dread living alone if I have to. There are so many benefits.

Good luck to you. You've earned this!

Hugs, Gail

Living alone for me is a new experience. I love the freedom of doing as I chose and when I chose. I enjoy being able to come and go as I please and cook when I please. I especially like if a friend calls at any time of the day or night and says 'come on over." I can go or refuse on my own decision. I also enjoy the alone time, having my own space.

Then there's the downside, which is sometimes I feel like having someone around and I usually jump in the car and go to visit someone or just to the store. Eating alone is the pits so my eating hasn't been too healthy. Having no one to help take the dogs out or being here to fix the fan in the bedroom which suddenly stopped spinning isn't good. Having no one to ask their opinion of.....which my children do when asked, but it's not like my husband. And the worse is not having someone right here who loves me, hugs me, kisses me, and lets me snuggle with him at night. There's no perfect answer so we just chose as we individually is better for us. Sharon

I hate living alone. A year and a half ago when I lost my husband I was 52 and I had never lived alone before. I should say I still have a 16 year old son living here but he hAs his drivers license so he is out alot and sleeps at friends houses alot so I still feel alone. I lost my husband suddenly to a heart attack so there was no need to recover like those who had spent a long time caring for their sick loved one. I can honestly say i hate every aspect of being alone. I never had a problem with not being able to do what I wanted when I wanted. Ted never stopped me from doing anything, although most everything I did with him. I miss him being around so much it is driving me crazy. I was always scared to be here alone and that has gotten a little better but hasn't totally gone away. I hate it when there is a thunderstorm at night and he is not here to protect me or when the electricity goes out at night and it's dark. Like I said, there is no upside to loving alone for me. Take care, Robin.

Interesting question - I moved out of my parents' house into my own apartment when I was 24. Four years until I met Joe, and we got married 5 months later. A few years later, he went on the road (OTR driver). For what 15, 17 years, I don't remember, he was home only on weekends. We were independently dependent. I went through five hurricanes and an emergency D & C without Joe being here. Of course, now, it's different. He's not stuck in Detroit. I can't call him. In the beginning, my/our home was an uncomfortable place to be, but then any place was the same. It changed, gradually. I knew I had to create a place where I could find peace with myself. Now, I shut the door, kick off my shoes, and give a big sigh of relief. I'm ME here. No mask, I can do what I want, when I want. I have the freedom to think, to eat when I want, to go to bed when I want. Yes, I would want Joe back in an instant, but it is what it is. Hugs, Marsha

Best wishes to you in your new home. Living alone is different. It is definitely quiet- Mike and I had his young sons for half of the week when he was alive. So now, with Mike gone the boys are with their mother full-time. This is another loss for me.
I think that the most difficult part of the day is dinner time. I have avoided eating dinner at home since Mike passed away 2 months ago until last night. As I set the table and prepared to eat a meal that my Mom sent over to me (I have also avoided having to cook) I cried. Then as I sat there eating alone I cried again- no sobbed! However, I managed to eat half of the meal- for nutritional purposes only- not pleasure. I figure now that I made it through my first meal maybe it won't be so bad next time.
These are adjustments that we have to make based on how our lives have changed. They are certainly not choices we wanted to make. It will be necessary to find things that you enjoy about living alone. I try to name one thing that I am grateful for each night before I go to sleep. This helps a little. Good luck in your new home.

Hi, I can totally relate!!! I am 56 and have been officially living alone for the past four months and three weeks. I left my parents' home to my home with my husband and had my children. So, this is a first for me and I ask myself quite often now that I have grown up what do I do. I can tell you it does get lonely -- but I have a routine of "istening" (just the noise) of talk radio, then i switch either the bedroom or the living tv set for different kind of noise. This past weekend I actually used the music channels and had soft music for a little while until I became nostalgic. It is funny when I am making my bed, sweeping, cleaning, etc. because it's just for me -- but I enjoy keeping everything tidy. Would I want my home and be able to nag my husband over certain things - ABSOLUTELY! But in a way, this independence is making me a little strong, a day at a time. The good part of living alone is that on those days that you just want to stay in bed under the covers, there is no one around to chastice you or tell you that it is bad for you. Do what you feel is right for you each moment -- give yourself the time for the pain to start subsiding. Only one recommendation (because I have not been good at this) eat properly and take vitamins. I find myself some days just existing on ensures. Not a good thing. But i'll get around to cooking one of these days! LOL and good luck in your new place -- I'm sure that little by little you will feel good about it.

Thanks for all the replies. I'm definetly feeling better about this alone thing. I won't be totally alone. I have my pet conure. His life expectancy is 30 years so he may outlive me.

Congratulations on your new place. I think you are going to be pleasantly surprised that you can come into your own place and not be stressed by your dad.

Joe was on the road 2 nights, then home 1 night, and gone the next night (for 1 night), then back home for 3 nights. So, I had to get used to being by myself 3 nights a week after my youngest daughter moved away for college, and then later my nephew moved out too. (He lived here from 16 - 29). Nephew went to school and tech college and then worked all the time on weird shifts-- many nights. So, he was in and out. But, when he moved out completely---wow! I wasn't the happiest person til I adjusted.
But, I talked to Joe when he was on the road, at least a couple of times a day, sometimes more. He called me before bedtime, to make sure I was ok. Brother! wouldn't I love to hear my cell ring and him be on the other end and all this be a nightmare! I know that's not happening.....

I'm glad that I had adjusted to being by myself for a few nights a week, before Joe left.

Since I can't have Joe back, I enjoy my time at home --- yes, by myself, except for my Pug. She is a lot of company and is sitting in my lap right now. I go to bed when I'm ready (so tired can't keep eyes open) and get up when I'm ready. Well, except for the appointments for my sister, uncle and 1st cousin. Then, I have to plan better.

I don't cook, unless I really want to. I don't pick up---unless I want to. :-) I'm retired, so, this is what I worked for, except Joe is gone and not here to do the things we planned. :-(

So, I'm coming up with some ideas as to what I can do now. I like my stress free zone in my house. Someone else moving in now would not be something I want. You do get used to living alone and having charge of the remote!

Hugs, Joely

I moved from my parents house into an apartment with my H when we got married, so I've also never lived alone. Now, my son and I live with my dad, so again, still not alone... With my mother's death, my dad didn't do so well living by himself, nor can either of us afford to live solo, so I think this will be a long term arrangement... For the most part, this arrangement works, we just have a few tricky things to work through.

Although, sometimes, I'd like to live alone.... Maybe it's just because I don't feel like I have a choice...

I went from living with my father to living with my husband. Now I have been living alone for about 3 months(well, my 18 year old son lives with me, but he is NEVER home so I say I am living alone because that is how it feels). I do not like it. I do not like coming home to an empty house and sitting here by myself. I do not like watching TV alone or eatting alone. I do not like talking to myself which I seem to do a lot lately. Maybe in time I will adjust to being alone, but right now I hate it.

I lived at home till I moved in with my dearest when I was 18. I have never been alone in my life. My 22 yo son and 21 yo niece are staying here (it is a big place) but are often gone. I enjoy when they are both here for dinner because I get inspired to make something. When it's just me I look for left overs.

I find when I am here alone for day I often just wander around aimlessly, doing stuff but in no particular order and no respect to urgency.

Little by little though I am starting to gain focus.

I built some stuff in my shop for the first time since "the day" and it was enjoyable. Short periods of joy are all we get so savor them.

All my best.

I don't think I will ever get used to living alone and it has been two years since I lost my husband. All my life I have had others around me - my parents, college roommates, and then my hubby. One thing that did help is that I recently joined the Red Hat Society. Being around other women, many of whom are in a similar situation, has helped a great deal. You mention you had a dog in the past. My dogs continue to help relieve the lonliness and some of the fears of living alone - they are great watch dogs. Still, they aren't very good conversationalists although they try:)

Krisanne