While I sure would rather have my hubby with me I am finding some positive things about being on my own. I can do whatever I want for the most part. I have never had that option before. I like it.

I moved to a small apartment in June..my first time ever living alone. I do have two little dogs. It was exciting moving in and decorating. I really love my place. I am still lonely for my husband but I feel a certain accomplishment in taking care of myself. Good Luck!!!

I am not alone yet (my grown granddaughter lives with me), but alone very often. I just wanted to wish you the best in your new home. It won't be long until you have your place the way you want it. If you don't have your dog now, you might find you want another one for company. I have a 3 year old puggle and I would be lost without her. She was Ronnie's best friend but she settled for me. I have cried many times & only to receive those wet kisses from her.
CHERI

Like you, I'm living alone for the first time (I'll be 52 in September). I'm finding it a mixed bag. I really like being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. I redecorated our bedroom and I love it. There isn't a single thing in it my husband would have liked.

But it does get lonely sometimes. Also, I was a little scared for a few weeks, but that passed quickly and now I don't think about it.

Give yourself time to adjust to the change. It will be OK.

This is a fear of mine. I have never lived alone and was raised in a family of five children. I left home for university study and lived in college. I met the bride of my youth when a student and married her whilst still a student aged 20. Alone is not in my vocabulary! I loved having a family, loved the noise, fun and joy that a family brings. My 26 year old son is still at home (thank the Lord), but is to be wed in February. I am not looking forward to the post wedding adjustment to a lonely, quiet and empty post-family home. I have joked with my son that I might 'hire' someone to live with me! A nice maid? A nice housekeeper? Rent out my empty rooms to university students? Move to something smaller? any ideas? Thanks for the post - it is another challenge along this road through the valley in death's shadow.

As Parmela said, living alone is a mixed bag. On one hand I love the freedom, on the other hand I am finding the maintenance and up keep overwhelming at times. I'm sure in the next year or so I will have to seriously consider moving to an apartment or condo but the thought of giving up the home that Wayne and I had so many wonderful memories in breaks my heart. Everywhere I look I see things that we did together, projects that we both worked on. Plus the fact that I have three Siberian Huskies I'm sure I would have a hard time finding an apartment or condo that would accept such large dogs. But over all living alone is okay for now. I get lonely occasionally, mostly on weekends but thankfully I have wonderful neighbors and they frequently invite me over on the weekends. It's going to take some adjustment so give yourself time.
Carol

I am not really alone because of my children; yet I am alone because Todd is gone. The circle has been broken. I have been alone through Todd's two deployments. There is this overwhelming quiet at night when the kids are sleeping. There is this feeling that the quiet is never going away. I would walk from room to room looking for something to do...something to fill my time...looking for him. This is how it is now. I was living on my own at sixteen and now I'm back where I started...with two children to raise. Good luck on your new adventure. Kaaren

After Mike died, my grown daughters lived with me for several months, along with my toddler grandson. It got to the point where we were getting on each other's nerves so much that I asked them to move out. I started the conversation and realized that they were staying because they didn't want me to be alone. Since they've moved, I've been able to breathe again.They didn't move far away, so I get to see them all the time and now we're always happy when we're together. I do have a dog and don't know what I'd do without her company, so I guess I'm not truly alone.

Like Kaaren, I have the kids at home, but they are of driving age, so they aren't home, only to sleep. I find myself alone alot even with 3 kids still at home. I have found that I can take control of the remote! Sit with my pug, Einstein, and watch tv. He chases the car as it drives off the screen on the Progressive Insurance commercials! I can come and go as I please without having to tell anyone or having them call me constantly to see where I am and what time I will be home. Sometimes I miss that. it is still lonely at night, but I try not to lay down in bed until I am ready to sleep. I have found that my sense of hearing has increased too.
Hugs~Shauna

I went straight from college to marriage (a million years ago) and the first time I really lived alone I was 51. It was after the divorce and while I was frightened I was finally free......and I relished my freedom. After Jim's death.....at first I was so numb I can't remember how I felt. The dust has somewhat settled and the numbness has worn off and there are some days that I enjoy it but there are some days that the loneliness is still unbearable. I can now do whatever I want but I still find that I put a lot of stuff off with "Oh well, I can do that tomorrow". I am not afraid to be alone but being alone still frightens me.....I don't know if that makes any sense....but that is where I am.......after what will be seven montths tomorrow.

Due to being from a broken family, I spent a lot of time alone as a child, so I grew up used to it. I was on my own for awhile before I met my husband, too. He used to travel sometimes, and I was fine with being alone then. Now he has been gone for 9 months, and I rent a small house. Before that I lived with my brother-in-law and his wife, which was tough for all of us. I would give anything to be at home in my own house still, but I cannot afford to live there. Like others here, I like the privacy of living alone in my own space. I can live alone ok, but life without my husband still sucks. Hugs to you, Patti

I think for you, under the circumstances, you will find living alone peaceful. You will finally have the time you need for yourself. You will think of all you have been through and have the time to sort it all out. You have had a lot happen to you in a short period of time.
You will get the opportunity to decorate to your own taste. You will look around and be pleased. You will be lonely and unhappy in your loss but not in your father's house and miserable. I like things clean and orderly so for me living alone every thing is kept up. There is no frustration in only cleaning up after yourself but much frustration in cleaning up after someone constantly. You will have the freedom to do whatever you want without having to be concerned or considerate of anyone else's needs but your own. I am sure you will still have to deal with your father but think, you can leave him there and return to your safe haven. It may be strange at first but I think you will come to enjoy it.
Best wishes and hugs,
Linda

I would anything to have my husband back to share life with me. I am 53 also and had never lived on my own before marrying Richard. When the shock and numbness wore off after 3 months, I really thought I couldn't live alone. It was severely traumatizing, but now?

I absolutely love it. Never had the freedom to just do what I want, when I want and how I want. I hated coming home to an empty house, but adopted a cat. Now I can't wait to get home and see her furry little face at the door waiting for me.

My first time living alone I was 55, and my husband had to move into an assisted living facility. I was not "alone" in the sense that Stan was across town, and also my daughter lived in the same apartment complex as me, about a 2 minute walk down the road. In every other way, I was truly alone when it came to day-to-day living, getting in the groceries, shoveling the snow, getting to work in bad weather, etc. all without being able able to drive. It was an adjustment and took me about a year to feel comfortable with it. As others have said, you get to do what you want, decorate the way you want, and you get to have people around when you want, or have solitude when you need it. I think the main thing I still do not like about living alone is being snowed in during a storm, or stuck in a thunder storm alone. I hate that! laurabp

My first choice would be to have my soulmate Joe back again. We lived together comfortably like a pair of old favorite shoes. However, I know he won't be back (it took a long time to realize this). Joe died of lung cancer Dec. 18 after 2 long suffering years including 2 surgeries that both involved weeks of complications. Also, radiation and chemo. It has been 8 months now and I still cry bitter tears, but I have learned to enjoy some aspects of living alone. You can be as selfish as you wish - you get the remote, you set the thermostate, cook or not, go places you choose, spend more time with your kids/grands. I also have enjoyed volunteer work. I work about 4 hours a week at 2 different places and have made some nice acquaintances. Learning to live again without Joe has been the hardest challenge of my life, but every day I make progress. I pray for the same for you!!