I am so sorry. This is a long journey you have started. Remember to drink LOT of fluids, eat, and get rest when you can. And there is always someone on this site that you can talk to, day or night. Take care if yourself... Sandee

I'm so very sorry for your loss. You've come to the right place. We're all on this journey together. The people on this site are so caring and supportive, I don't know what I would have done without this site.
Remember you are not alone, we're here to help.

Try to find a grief support group or a therapist, someone to talk to.
Do you have family nearby? Close friends?
Call your doctor if you feel an antidepressant might help.
Please take care of yourself. It's important to eat healthy and sleep.
Cry all you want, it's cleansing, and it really is a release.

Hugs,
Janie

You are numb and in shock. You can't process a thought...I think it's safe to say most of us on this site have been in your shoes. Cry your tears don't hold them back. You will feel better after you cry. Your tears are healing ...I know I didn't believe it either when they told me that or when I read it in a book, but they are a huge and necessary part of the process. Our grief and tears are the price we pay for loving so deeply. Peace and comfort to you.

So sorry for your loss. This is an awful club you have joined but the members are amazing. We've all been through it so can understand your feelings. It's so early in your grief process that reality hasn't even started to sink in. There's always someone hear to talk to or vent to. Feel free to share. It's healing to know you're not alone or going crazy. Be good to yourself. Hugs Liz

I'm very sorry CatDad. Losing a spouse creates extra depth and complexity to your pain. We shared a special and intimate connection with them, and this relationship helped us define who we were. Losing this person has literally ripped you apart on the inside. I found making lists helped me to focus and I carried a little notepad and jotted down even unimportant stuff.

CatDad,
You've only just begun. It's a maze, it's filled with secret twists and turns that will come at you when you least expect it.

Don't fight it, go with it. It'll be easier for you if you just let it happen.

I'm at the 21 month mark and sometimes it feels like yesterday and other times it feels like a million years ago.

It doesn't really matter, the hurt is like your heart has been slammed by a boulder and you can't get comfortable, no matter what you do. You're shattered, scattered and fragmented.....well, at least I am!

Please, go cry, comfort the kitties, they're so confused. As are we!

Roz

Dear CatDad. I am so very sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve. Try to take care of yourself; although I know that seems so unimportant now. I found a grief support group and it was immensely helpful. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings and let us know how you are doing.

Hugs,

Val

Thank you all for your thoughts and caring.

I'm new on this site and don't know how to return hugs or add people as friends etc. The times I tried it didn't work.

I thought I knew all about death.... I so wrong.
Today I have been calling CC companies and insurance and taking her off those policies. Each time I break down all over. Its as though I'm getting better at crying. Lots of practice.

I look forward to getting you know people on this group.

A big part of me wants to go after her.

I am so very sorry for your loss. I am almost 3 months out from losing my husband, and I am still working on the business side of it. That is the worst part. You have to relive it day after day. I set myself a goal of just 2 tasks a day. And after that I was done. I also had to write lists. Lists that normally I would do automatically. Fold laundry, take out trash, empty dishwasher. I would write 3-4 a day and mark them off when I got them done. When my list was done then I would take a nap. Don't try to get everything done today. Take your time. Make sure your rest. And please know you can talk to us day or night. My heart is hurting for you.

Sorry for what you are going through. As I read through this site and all of the people suffering from loss it just doesn't seem fair. I guess it isn't.
On the other hand there is a lot of good things in this world. So don't go after her. I doubt she would want that.
For me I'm slowing things down a bit. Trying to notice all of the good things. I still cry when we do things that we used to do with her-- going to church, singing a song she used to play on the piano, etc.
Everyone's situation is different, but hang in there.

My lists kept getting longer, without anything scratched off. 7 months ago, my son moved in with me, he made lists, then everyday, he would jump in, and get me going and keep me going through the task. He worked me to death, and I appreciate it so much. On Feb 11th will be two years. Good Luck...Sandee

CatDad, so sorry for your loss. The first week is complete disbelief, numbness, weeping, loss of appetite and complete and utter aloneness no matter who is there with you. I found this amazing group right after my husband passed away in March from stage iv cancer. I lurked for a few weeks buf desperately needed to share and now love the amazing group of people here who always support each other 24/7. I also joined a support group... Much peace to you and so sorry for your loss.

Very sorry for your loss. Grief is a long and tortuous road which we here all tread. We are all at a different stage but you will find support and understanding on this site, no matter where you are on this road.

Crying is part of it of course and during the early months it is a big part of our life but it helps with the healing process. You will always miss her and she will be always with you in your heart.

During the first few weeks, months, I was always making lists so as not to forget things to do because grief plays tricks on our memory. Do take time to rest, cry, time for yourself because you will be busy with all the admin, aftermath of death but some of the things can wait.

Look after yourself as best as you can. I am sure she would want that.
I wish you peace.

You are describing exactly what I went through those first few days and weeks after Art passed away. Take it one day at a time. Cry, yell, scream do whatever it takes to help with the pain. You have found a wonderful site and I would not be doing as well as I am at 8 months if were not for all the awesome people on DS. You are not alone on this horrible journey!!! We all get it. So sorry for your loss. Hugs. Sue

CatDad,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You've come to the right place for support and help. You can rely on the advice you get here because DS members have all walked the path you're walking now. Lori's suggestions are especially useful. The idea of keeping a list (even of simple things) and not trying to accomplish too much in one day . . . they're both really good pieces of advice.

Wishing you peace . . .