Oh, I am so deeply sorry for your loss and pain. I don't know how long you've dealing with the loss, but I can understand the pain. My only advice is take it day by day and often moment by moment. I am here for you to talk. Sharon

I am so sorry for your pain. People can say all kinds of things but only you can make yourself feel better.I know how you feel. I lost my husband 15 months ago. I just wanted to go with him. My life was turned upside down. I missed him so much I thought I was going crazy. I tried to keep myself busy but it didn't work.I cryed for a few months. I lost alot of weight I just felt sick.It got to a point that I had to say to myself I have to accept it. Do I really accept it not really but it is all I can do. I still cry I get depressed and lonely but I have to try to keep moving. Sometimes I think the lonelyness is going to kill me. I don't seem to be the same person. I think when you are married for a long time you become one and now I need to find myself. I hope you can find some kind of peace as time goes on.

I fel the same way you do. I wish I could just lay down close my eyes and my loving husband be right there to take me away! I mean this with every breath I take, I am so sad that you feel this way too. It is not a great place to be at all. You still have to go on living though as if your life did not just take a giant leap on you Everyone can go home to their wives/husbands/kids/better half...we cannot. We will never be able to again. Please know that I know how you feel.....It is so sad.....

The night my husband died i had everything here to end my life or so i thought.,i had stolen needles from the hospital thinking i could inject my self with air and bang i would die..it didn't work..so then i had another plan and i heard my husband as if he were here saying You would actually do that to our children?? That's when i knew..but then i decided to drink alot of booze so i couldn't hear him as i wanted to die so bad..i went to the river where the rapids are and drank on the shore thinking i am going to go in drown and die...i am not sure how i ended up at a bar..and then my family found out? somehow and put my in a Psych ward but they let me out the next day so yup i went back to the river with plans..next thing i know i am with my sons brother in law and going back to the psych ward..this time for three days and they didn't want me let out. But i got out and gave up drinking booze and started to get stoned 24/7 i never did drugs before. But by then my son was watching me and the authorities so here i am working full time and the days are going by faster I am still not sure why i am here but i am. Thought about cutting my neck just the other day and figure i would botch it up and end up back in the psych ward so trying to make the best of what this new life is and i know you can too ( Hugs)

Oh, my heart goes out to you and am so sorry that you have lost the one that you loved with all your heart. I truly believe that we are here for a reason, even though we can't even begin to know why. Keep coming here for support; we all understand your pain.
Roxanne

My heart goes out to you, it seems we all go a little crazy after we lose the special person we shared everything with, the hopes, dreams, ups and downs of normal life with them. Rug is pulled out when they are gone and you fall down. I thought caregiving for 2 years was the most difficult thing I had done but we ended with hospital and hospice care and now living without him is the most difficult, before I was so busy caring for him I didn't need to care for myself and he was still alive as we told each other we loved each other every day. I felt there was nothing to live for after he was gone, just numb and keeping busy. My pets helped so much, like little children they love you unconditionally but are needy must be fed, exercised, pet every day. Brought me back to life. Connecting with this group and getting actual one on one bereavement therapy, finding new friends including others who have lost someone, putting one foot in front of the other slowly climbing out of the deep well of sorrow you fall into. You can climb out with help. Prayers and healing thoughts to you.