Thank for sharing. You have helped me to sort out some of his clothing that someone could use. He did landscaping at our church and has boots in the basement I had forgotten about. That is what I love about this site. Sometimes you need others to think for you. Bless you.

I forgot to say that I am donating his car to the American Lung Association in his honor. He died from Lung Cancer July 27,2013 after being diagnosed in January 2013.

Awww, thank you, praised! We are all here to help and learn from each other. I am so very sorry for your painful loss.

I did it slowly starting with our children, letting them pick. Then later, his brother asked and he chose a few. Some things I still have but it is his hand written log of his vitals for the doctor and hospice.

What feels right for you is what you are right to do now with everything. Only don't make life changes, emotions can trick you. Sharon

To be realistic but not unsympathetic - you do not need "things" to remind you. Mine is a country where many are in need and I found some comfort in giving clothing etc away to those folk who really need these. They serve no purpose keeping the closeet warm, but mae the world of difference to the needy. My partner was one who gave both her coats away in winter - when I sais to her that even the Lord had the good sense to say, if you have two coats give one away - but she just smiled and said: "They were both cold - whom should I have turned away?" I kept only stuff that I could use myself and then the rest was gladly given. Memories are still all intact. ((HUGS))

Almost immediately, I gave a lot of my husband's things to a homeless shelter, because when I looked at them, they just made really sad. I still have so much to go through and will as soon as I get home from my trip.

It felt good to unload a few things, and it will feel better to me to have all of his clothes gone, except for the things he was wearing just before he did the yard work which caused his fall into the pool. He so carefully folded them next to the bed, when he changed to go do the dirty work. I moved the pile under the bed, just because I don't want to see it, but also because I want to keep him in our bedroom.

I did it at about 6 weeks. Cliff had done all of his laundry just before he died, so the only stuff I could hang onto with his scent were the clothes he wore the day before and his old bathrobe. I did later find an old jacket in the back of the hall closet, but basically I gathered 99% of his things up and gave them to Goodwill. I kept a couple of t-shirts and the wedding shirt I had made for him by hand, the jeans, bathrobe, and such that he had left hanging on the door the night before his heart attack. No one we knew was the same size - he was a big man - and he was the kind of guy that would give you the shirt off his back, so I knew he would have wanted me to donate them so that someone in need would have them.

My sister drove me to Goodwill and helped me unload it all, and then let me cry my eyes out. I am so glad she went with me. She was proud of me for doing that and said she knew Cliff would have approved. I knew it was the right thing but I needed the support.

My advice is to keep a few things back. I had some odds and ends, and discovered some things I had missed later. I used to wrap myself up in his bathrobe to sleep, one of the few things that helped.

Some widows have a quilt made from shirts or t-shirts, and I have known widows here who have had teddy bears made from or with t-shirts to be given to grandkids who are missing their Grandpa. Another lady had a quilt mader from her husband's ties. Everyone's needs are different - do what is best for you.

And just a note to not give away anything else for at least 6 months, except maybe medical supplies. People will come out the woodwork to try and get stuff for free from you. I made the mistake of giving away some of Cliff's tools, and then months later needed the tools and had to buy replacements, and that was costly. I felt very taken advantage of by the people who got his tools, especially when they didn't show up to help with repairs as previously promised.

You will need time to grieve and then come out of the fog before you are able to make property decisions. Don't let people rush you.

I am sorry for your loss and that you have to face these questions, too, but am glad you found us.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

It's been almost three months for me and I haven't touched anything. I just can't right now. The clothes aren't bothering anyone so.. I have time. Also, I love donating things to Goodwill and Salvation Army. However, someone gave me the idea to make a quilt from some of his favorite shirts. I do plan on doing that as well as making a few outfits for my daughter out of his clothes. One day. One day. I think we all do things on our own time, when we feel it's the right time. Only you know your true feelings. If you are having feelings like you jumped in too soon, don't feel like you have to give them away because you said you would have stuff. Do what feels right for you.

I waited for about four months before donating some of my husband's clothing. A close friend was collecting clothing for her church for a mission trip to Guatemala (not sure of the spelling), and I got rid of about half of his things. For someone who was definitely not a "clothes horse," I could not believe the amount of clothing that he had. I found things he had not worn in years but that he would not part with because he hated to get rid of anything. I could not help smiling about one piece - a Maryland Terrapins basketball shirt. Imagine some kid or young adult wearing that in Guatemala - John would have loved it. Now that I am at nearly four years, I got rid of the rest of his things just a few months ago by taking them to Goodwill. I am hoping someone loved the Dale Jr. jacket. I kept just a few things that I could not part with and probably never will. There is some comfort in seeing them hanging in the closet. As others have said, there really is no timetable for this sort of thing as everyone grieves differently. You just need to do what you feel is right for you.
Roxanne

As you can see, its' a very personal decision. Some want to donate right away and others leave things as they are.

I think you did the right thing considering the circumstances. And yes, it's been awfully cold!!!

Now you can take your time with the rest (if that's what feels right).

I started by donating all his hospital clothing, shoes, everything to Hospice , where he stayed for almost 3 months. After that I gave away all the clothes he hadn't worn in years (suits, good shirts, ties, etc.).

When it came time to cleaning out his drawers, I packed everything up, but could not give it away. So I washed and dried all his undies, sox, and hankies and put them all away. It felt good, as if he were still home taking a nap while I washed his clothes. This must have been about 2 months after he passed.

In time, of course, I did give most of his clothes away. I have kept some t-shirts and things and will never part with them.

So, do what feels right for you.
Hugs

My daughter and daughter in laws took a few items and donated 90% of Pat's clothes to the salvation army a few days after the funeral. They left a few items that I asked to keep for a while. At Christmas they went through Jewelry and took a few items each, leaving the most valuable pieces for me to distribute when I feel ready. This worked out for me as they all live far away and I was glad to have the help when it was available. I did not feel that donating the clothing so soon was emotional trauma for me, at that time things could not get worse, and later it was one sad task that I did not have to do.

I waited for about 3 months and then I offered my wife's clothes to family members first. To be honest my wife owned a lot of nice name brand clothes and I did not want to see $50. sweaters being sold to $5. at goodwill. Since this was around the holidays I offered them the clothes as gifts from my wife to soften the mood. To my surprise most of her clothes were accepted by them. I think this was the right time for you to donate his clothes or else you would not have been able to do it. Take care. Dan

That was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life. It took me over 3 years but than what I did gave them to a friend of mines and she made me a quilt out of a lot of Al,s shirts and his jeans. It is just beautiful and I love it so much. I love cuddle with it for its like I have Al with me.