Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

It's NOT Funny, but ya know..

Dottk
Dottk

I found out today that I died when DH died.  Officially.  Not only that, but I DIED AGAIN about two weeks later!!


I have been telling people, my family, friends,  and you guys, a little bit, that it kinda felt like I had some kind of "Kick the New Widow" target on my back, but mostly, I would hear, "Well, you know, it's always difficult when you lose a family member."


  Well, I got a big hit today, and now, my family, at least, are starting to believe me. 


Got a call from Social Sec, informing me that all my paperwork is "on hold" ..... Why??


Because I am dead. 


So I hustle down there asap, to discover that SOMEHOW, despite several phone conversations, and an hour and a half long benefit application interview as well, I had been filed as dead right along with DH, and then SOMEHOW, I got filed as dead AGAIN two weeks AFTER the first time!!!!!   Huh? How does THAT HAPPEN???  And, How Does It Happen, with no mention of it until TODAY??


Was I just so nice, that they           had to kill me off TWICE, or what?


So, I have been "dead", all completely unbeknowst to me, for about 6 weeks now.  Huh.


But, THERE'S MORE YET!


I have a job interview tomorrow.  So besides taking in paperwork and ID  to "amend" my death, I also needed a new copy of my SS card for my job interview.... BUT they told me, quote: 


"Sorry; No can do. 


We can't give Social Security cards out to dead people.  You will have to come back for that....whenever we get you ressurrected."


:/  :/ :/  :/  :/





Uniz
Uniz
Wow that is horrible. Who filed that paperwork
Dottk
Dottk
You never know that for certain because most of your communications with them now are by phone, but the young man who did my phone interview came by while I was there, and introduced himself, and made some notes about what documents I brought to prove I am still among the living.
He and one lady's voices seemed familiar.
Dottk
Dottk
I am just a little bit (read that: madly) worried about what else these errors could impact. Could my driver's license be suspended because I am dead? My bank account frozen? My job hunt background checks ? Could I be arrested for driving while dead? Is my insurance still in force? You know, all that sort of thing.
Uniz
Uniz
Ya that would be a tough situation. Any ideas or ways to correct it?
Dottk
Dottk
What would happen at the airport if I had to fly? Doubt it would be good, you know?
Dottk
Dottk
Only what I already did. Take myself and every scrap of personal documentation I could come up with down to their closest office in a hot hurry.
Dottk
Dottk
You hear about this kind of thing happening, but you never expect it to happen to you, right??
marc121
marc121
Sorry dear, i hope you get sorted out and have your life back
debbielu
debbielu
It's amazing how an individual's lack of attention and incorrect strike of one key on the keyboard can wreak havoc among innocent people and their lives. AND then the innocent ppl have to scurry about with the headache and inconvenience of cleaning up the mess of another. So sorry this happened to you, and at such an awful time.
Dottk
Dottk
Thanks all. Well, I kept my interview appointment and didn't get the cops called on me for impersonating uh, myself. So bully for me!!
Leelalulee
Leelalulee
Well on the bright side, perhaps you'll get that great big SS death benefit payment! My husband passed 6 weeks ago and I think I was told it was like $250?

All kidding aside, I hope they get things resolved quickly for you. This is the last thing you need when trying to get by after the loss your spouse!!!

Sending you positive thoughts for your interview. I have just moved back to my home town to be with my family which is great, but it meant leaving my job of three years working for an episcopal diocese. I was so fortunate to know so many wonderful clergy and lay ministers. I am really going to miss them. I am very anxious to find employment, but am thinking I will give it a few months before I start searching seriously. I'm afraid if I would find something right away I would be a terrible hire as my grief seems to be interfering with my ability to remember details. Someone told me they call it a widows fog. Anyway, good luck!
scottito
scottito
Oh my God. You just gotta shake your head and wonder. Me, I'd call my Congressman or Senator and leave a message about your dilemma. And I'd write a letter to that social security office. How dare they treat you like that. I'm sure all you can do is laugh about it in disbelief. Apparently, some idiots at your local branch somehow don't think the saying, I've got but one life to live, in no one applies to you. I'd be on that phone as long as it took, and when offered nothing but delay and sarcasm, I'd demand to talk to their supervisor. And the supervisor's supervisor. And on up the chain until I found a real human being that can get off script and actually solve the problem immediately. Get past the minions. There is always someone up the chain that know how to fix the problem. Me, I'd be a royal pain in the ass until they got me off their back just to shut me up. Remember, squeaky wheel gets the grease. But I'm 2 years into this. Early on, I most likely would have just said, What next? Yeah, I've had a share of those "what next" events. Death of the love of our life tends to diminish the impact of such things. What's the worst that happen? Oh, that's right. It already did. Juanita died. Seems that helps me keep things in perspective and helped me along the way to just stop worrying about things I didn't need to be thinking about. But then, I haven't died twice like you. Blame it on really good genes :) ~~~ Scottie
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