My thoughts have been on this too. Thanks for asking this question. I look forward to the responses.

My philosophy is any opportunity to embrace life should be taken especially if you have a 3 year old grandson to share it with. You will find your own personal ways in which to mourn and grieve and truthfully it is nobodies business but yours how you do it. There is no right or wrong way to do this journey. Enjoy your Halloween decorations and the look on your grandsons face!

If I was wanting to put up decorations, than I would. I think it's a positive step that you "want" to decorate. There are no rules to mourning and grieving. I say decorate!!

Nessie from KY

It is ok if you do, and its ok if you dont. The only rules in place are the rules you make. The amount of mourning you are in will not change, but you may learn new things about yourself along the way. Do not concern yourself with how your actions will be perceived by anyone else. It is possible to be in deep mourning and still go on with life. Do what you need for you and for the little ones. For Holidays last year I put up fewer decorations than usual and it seemed so strange to be doing any at all. At this point it is just going through the motions. Be kind to yourself as there is no right or wrong answer.
God Bless
Martin

I think you should enjoy the holidays for your grandsons sake even if you just go through the motions but enjoy seeing his little face beaming. My grand daughter is writing her Christmas list to santa already and it breaks my heart that my husband isnt here to help, but i put on a brave face .I thank God that I have her to keep me on track.
I dont think Christmas will be the same this year for any of us here on this site but lets hope by next year our hearts wikk be a little lighter. Val in Australia.

Jake died on Nov. 4th and I had Thanksgiving dinner at my house later in the month. I also put up a Christmas tree and lights. I, like you, wanted to keep things as "normal" as possible for my grandkids and they live down the street from me. It was difficult but I think better than if I had done nothing.

Do whatever you feel like for the holiday. I did the first Christmas tree decorations on the first year, left the tree up till the next year but never decorated it. This year is the first time I am in a new place so I am going to decorate the tree and have quiet moments with him.

I did puf up Christmas lights last year mostly because winter is so dreary I like the lights. The kids decided to put up the tree ss I had no interest in it. Do what you feel works for you.
Russ

Do what is best for you and your family. In my case, I didn't want to do exactly what we did at Christmas concerning decorations...too many memories! I did have newer...and fewer...decorations, but at least they were mine. I still had a good cry over what used to be, but the change helped me to accept what I had to accept.

Of course! You know what your loved one would say in response to your question, Mourning has nothing to do with outward display. I have not worn black for a single day. It is in your heart where you grieve is it not? xxx

Do as you want you are not mourning any less. I did the first holidays after Ken passed honouring his memory as he loved to decorate and I know as hard as it was is he wants me to go on with my life I would be dishonouring him and his love of life if I didn't

My take is that, if your husband "loved the upcoming holidays", then you will be honoring him by decorating, especially since he himself would be doing so for your grandson's sake. After all is decorated, sit back and enjoy the looks on that precious little boy's face and see his grandpa's face in all the little one's expressions. Then, you will know that your darling has approved of your actions. There are more than enough times to set aside for mourning (or they come at you anytime they please!). Take whatever opportunity you can, and whenever possible, to join the living.

Hugs,

Terry

Thank you for the replies, being new to this mourning life it's difficult navigating the perceived right and wrongs. My prior experience is just from books and movies and we all know how accurate they are!! I don't want anyone to think less of me & my love for my husband for putting up a few decorations. I still haven't decided on whether I'll hand out candy. PJ always liked to do that. I know Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to be a much bigger deal. I've made plans to go away for both so I can go through them in a different way this year at least. I hope that in the future we will be able to come together again as a family and enjoy this time but we all feel it's too soon this year. I do feel selfish abandoning my family this way but I think I have the right too.

Decorating for the holidays doesn't impinge grief or imply your life is perfect. If it gives you pleasure, do it. Sharon

I say do it also. It may bring you some joy.