I'm glad you found your way here. I've been going through the grieving process for 2 1/2 years now. It's different for everyone. And there's no right or wrong way to grieve.

I call it a "process" because sometimes it feels like I'm processing and progressing and sometimes I feel darn stuck!

No matter, it's one day at a time. And, some days are easier than others. I don't get teary as quickly and when I do, I can come back quicker than I used to. And, what triggers my tears could be as simple as a leaf falling from one tree or a new blossom on another. No matter, NOTHING is the same any more.

Some days you'll feel like your spinning out of control and other days you'll wish you were. Those are the days that getting out of bed seems like a monumental task.

Just know you're not alone.......Your feelings are real and we totally "get it!"

Much Love,
Roz

Welcome fuchsiasky,
You will find lots of understanding and support here, we are all in the same boat..at different stages...we share, we cry, we lift each other up. I have only joined this week and already am drawn back here several times a day...
Sending you a hug, I pray you know Gods peace and love in your journey.

Today is a day I didn't want to get up. I just wanted to stay in bed and hide from the world. But I had to get my daughter to school. And work does really need me to show up. lol. But I'm not doing anything that requires thinking. I would just mess it up. Ive spent more time looking for help for me than actually working. I look forward to going home and hiding out tonight. Its just a missing him day.

Adding my welcome, Fuchsiasky. I'm also new here, about 2 weeks, lost my guy on February 16. Whether it's unexpected heart attack like my story, or a long battle by a brave spouse...we ARE all in this boat.

You won't be a burden here, from what I've learned. And probably nobody knows like we do. Glad you have loving stepchildren in your life, and your beautiful daughter.

You will like this place.

Hugs...MysticDay

I am sorry for your loss and that you needed to find us, but am glad you did find us. I found Daily Strength 8 years ago, late one terrible night just a couple of weeks after losing my husband Cliff to a heart attack. Being here helped me rebuild my life, so I stayed on to help, and am now a Community Leader for our group along with Shrn (Sharon) and marjoe (Marsha) who are also old-timers here. You will be able to spot us by the blue "CL" badge on our pictures.

People die, but love doesn't. We understand that here. It will get easier, although it's not going to feel like it for awhile. But don't give up. Welcome to the group.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Yes. We do understand what you're going through. Sadly, we experience many of the same symptoms of grief: the intense mood swings, reliving/rethinking past events, grief triggered by seemingly minor and unrelated events, etc.

You're also right about family. Only other widows and widowers can understand the grief. I'm actually glad others don't understand. Half of us in loving, long-term relationships go through this. You're either the survivor or the departed, and I hope my friends and family don't experience either for a long, long time.

I once thought it would be easier if I was older--my life nearly over. Now I know there are much younger widows and widowers, and I'm starting to realize age doesn't matter. The grief is hard for all of us, young, old, or somewhere in the middle.

This site is helpful. Come here and feel free to share your thoughts. I know it's helping me. No one here is going to complain if you want to write about your lost love, the children, or the grief you're feeling. Take as much time as you want!

Welcome fuchsiasky,-

You are in the right place. Il lost my wife a little over
six months ago ( 28 August, 2015 ). It was sudden
with a heart attack. She was only 53.

I understand what you say about family. I also found
that to be true with " friends ", co-workers and
neighbors. They think we should be " over it " in a
few weeks or a month or two at the longest. I don't
push the point with them. They just don't get it and
never will until or unless it happens to them. I don't
wish it upon anyone.

I was approaching 70 and thought I had been exposed
to almost everything " bad " that exists on the planet
earth. But, I didn't know this level of pain existed until
I lost her. The ONLY positive thing about it is the fact
she worried about me leaving her behind to grieve and
that will never happen. She is with Him and has not
shed a tear. She is happy and safe and waiting on my
arrival. It has taken me six months to begin to look at
it that way but, for me, it is the only way to look at it
and TRY to deal with this.

Let the tears flow at will, fuchsiasky. The tears and prayer
and taking it one minutes at a time, one hour at a time
and one day at a time is the only way I have gotten to
this point.

You are in my prayers, fuchsiasky.

Blessings to all -

Darrell

I had no idea that anything could hurt this much. And we lost a child during pregnancy. That was horrible. This is so much worse. I feel utterly broken and shattered. I'm just trying to pick up the pieces of me and see where they fit now.

I look at my family and friends who have spouses and feel sorry for them. Someday they will know this pain. I hope it isn't for a really long time! For now I'm just jealous that they have people to love and cuddle. Damn what I would do for a cuddle these days!

Thank you all for listening to my ramblings....

I am calling this all processing. Not grieving. Because it is a process...a journey.... The word grief just doesn't do it justice.

Hi Fuchsiasky, Yes, people here certainly do understand as best anyone could. Not because we're smart, or well educated, or wise. No. We understand because we too are living this nightmare called grief right along side with you. But we are better together. And just so you know, here you are never truly alone. Lots of wonderful loving people here to reach out to in a very protective atmosphere. This is kinda like our refuge from the storm. You are welcome here. And there are other younger members that also have youngsters still at home -- which I would think brings a whole new dimension to this grieving process. Its just me now, and I can barely take care of myself so I have utmost respect for all the parenting widows and widowers here that carry on with the most important job in the world -- and I thank each of you for carrying on for the sake of your children. ~~ Scottie

we get it...we don't want to but we have no choice...this is our life now and we live it as best we can...no one can say they understand unless they have been down this road...and this is a road that I agree I wouldn't wish anyone to travel...I find that at night this is the best place for me to be...I feel good sharing and reading the blogs from everyone...I get somewhat of an inspiration from knowing that I am not alone in my feelings that there are others out there that know exactly how I feel and why I feel this way...it has been just a year for me and I never thought I would get this far...but with a lot of hard work I am taking it one day at a time...I will always be with him as he now lives in my heart...that is what helps me everyday to know that he is going to always be a part of me...