At first I would visit my in-laws, but after I learned that they were still saying bad things about my husband I just lost it and don't want to see them any longer. However, we still meet and celebrate as a family on major holidays. Mostly I have issue with my MIL who from day 1 had something against me before she even gave me a chance to get to know her. I forgave her during the years my husband was alive. Now I don't have to be with toxic people like her.

Hi
No in ln laws other than Bils n Sils. Only have contact with 2 of his brothers and their wives. One of whom is like a sister to me. His oldest sis is gone the other had a falling out with him because of his ex. About 4 yra after we had been married his sis had been in contact with his ex. And told him he needed to get in contact with her because she was still in love with him. He told his sis to mind her own business. That he loved me more than life. I was the mother of his children. And if she didn't like it take a hike. Well needless to say she wasn't happy about it and they had an argument over it.
Anyway he had a Large extended family can we keep in touch weekly.

Take care of yourself.
Bev

Thank God I have a great mother in law and sisters-brothers in laws. Don't know what I would do without them. I am so sorry yours are so rotten. If mine were like your I wouldn't have anything to do with them. Its not healthy for you and your family.
Hugs,
Jennifer

Sandy28, I could agree with your theory if my in-laws were normal people. They were nasty when I first met them and over time they have become real assholes that show their true colors. I mean how dare their son marry some WAP...yes they called me that...from a poor family and spread that family wealth. I just don't need them and hope I never see them again. I know I will not see them in the afterlife.

Maggie.

Maggie...I'm with you. People amaze me; and I now realize it's not selfish for me to take care of myself and my children. I don't think my mother in law ever really liked me, she tolerated me. But I'm ok with that.

It's ok to no longer have contact with them, especially with what they've done. You will be much happier, and already have enough to deal with.
I'm lucky to not have any more contact with my xin-laws, and xsisteril-law. They're very controlling, and their house is run by whoever yells the loudest, I've even seen them fight about where to go for dinner. I tried to keep talking with them, but I had just lost my wife, was a little busy (still am but it's gotten better) trying to adjust to a new life, and having a child to raise on my own. Since I wasn't jumping when they snapped their fingers they started calling my neighbors and told them that child services would be called if I didn't return their calls. Never heard from child services, or the lawyer they supposedly hired. I could go on and on, but I think the fact that they did not come to there daughters funeral says enough about them.

A wise therapist once told me not to "feed the bad wolf". If you keep feeding your anger, it hurts and damages YOU! You cannot change people, but you CAN change yourself.

I feel pretty lucky in that I'm very close with my in-laws still, which includes Dina's aunt and cousins. It was a small family so they were very close. I see her mother and sisters at least a couple times a week. My daughter and I usually have dinner there twice a week. Dina's father died only 6 days before she did, while Dina was still in the hospital and unable to attend the services. This definitely slid me into a man of the family kind of role. I help out with whatever I can and they do the same for me. I'm thankful for the relationship I have with them.

This thread, of all that I have read is the one that has made me stop to count my blessings this morning. My husband died 7 1/2 months ago and I am so fortunate that my in-laws consider me a daughter, a sister, a member of the family, just as they have for over thirty years.. We are all attending a grief support group together and I can't fathom making it through a single day without their love and support.