I kept all those sympathy cards and even though they did make me sad, I appreciate the time and thought behind them. I haven't been able to go through the cards again and it's been three years. I still send sympathy cards especially to those people out of town and I can't attend the funeral.

Actually, I've been more diligent about sending them since Brian passed than I was before. I guess I was glad that those people thought about me. I also kept all of the email messages that were received by the funeral home from people out of state.

I have them all in a box and I hope to one day go back through them and read them all again. I just can't yet.

Nessie from KY

I didn't get many but I appreciated the ones I got. It showed me that someone was thinking about me in my time of loneliness. I kept them and read them again after things had calmed down . It is nice to know so many people loved my Michael as much as I did

I kept the cards I received as well. Its been 6 months, and it did help me to feel loved at at time in my life when I felt such sorrow. I have them put away and hope in time I will be able to cherish them as I did during this difficult season.

I understand how you feel about those cards. I have kept each one, put them away.

Also receiving Christmas cards for 2013, they were very hard to cope with. I kept two - addressed in my name only, that was bad enough. Such things I will never be able to face. Thankfully only one person where I work gave me a card, no one else did. I think they understood how hard it would be for me to receive them when I have nothing to celebrate. Family will always send cards. I did not send one card, did not buy gifts. I told family it was too difficult to face, and to be a part of Christmas.

Now Valentine's. That will soon be here. The last Valentine's card I gave my wife was filled with hope. I kept that card. Hard to even think that was last year I gave her the card.

"Love lives on...
In the little things
you shared,
in the moments
you`ll always treasure,
in the smiles
you can
never forget"

This was a verse on one of the cards received , while at the time it made me sad that he was gone, the words chosen by someone who cared enough to chose them, gave me some sort of peace.
Later when I was assembling a scrapbook of pictures to bring to a family reunion (pictures had been requested) I added some of those to the scrapbook as a reminder...Now a year after losing him, I see the strength behind such words and am thankful for them...
I had never made a scrapbook before and this one took months to finish as each page would bring pain . Often I would pick up a picture and start assembling a page and would notice that while the page assembly had brought so many tears, my load seemed a little less heavy to bare...It was therapeutic...

the cards made me sad too!!! but it is all part of it. I received a ton of them and deeply cherish each.to me they represent how much people really cared about us!!! I too but them in a memory box and one day will look at them again.

I have kept all the cards I received when Sam passed away. In addition, I kept one Christmas card, and that was from Sam's parents. I never expected them to send a card; they were so devastated when Sam died in Sept. But the card stands on my dresser next to Sam's picture ... and here's the very special message on that card:

"We may not always understand God's plan ..."
"... but our faith assures us that there IS a plan."

The fact that they set aside their own grief to send that to me meant so much.

I'm planning on getting some kind of memory box to put everything into. I kept all the cards from when my Dad passed and got a special hat box for them and also kept a flower from the funeral.

Maybe because you had been grieving before since he was ill for a long time, and maybe you are trying trying to recover fast from that long sadness. Nonetheless, never take someone's love, support and thoughtfulness for granted. You are lucky to have people who cared enough to write and express their sympathy.
Besides, and perhaps many members here agree, but soon after the funeral one gets less and less calls and cards.
It is your choice to get disconnected, but any relationship needs nurturing in order to grow and stay strong, especially in a trying time.
Hope you rethink your position for your own sake.
Peace

Its not that I don't appreciate the cards, I am keeping each one, it is the pain they bring. From this time forward I will maybe send books on heaven or phone calls. I am still getting sympathy cards and each one makes me cry Those sentiments when you are grieving are very hard to take. Sigh. I am tired of crying.

It probably is not helping that I took my 17 1/2 year old dog to the vet only to be told to be prepared, she has a heart murmur that is leaking. This dog clung to my husband from day when as a 3 month old puppy. We are both sad.

Hang in there and sorry about your doggie, that is amazing that she has lived 17 1/2 yrs!

I cried so much after the shock of losing my husband unexpectedly. I was in a total daze and stupor. I felt so alone and frightened. Phone calls were nothing more than a blur those first several weeks...but, every day, Every day, when I walked to the mailbox and found cards, I felt grounded, and appreciated having something tangible to remind me how much my husband, and I, were loved.

I also had friends send or drop off books on grief, widowhood, faith and so on...all of which are sitting unread. Until recently, my concentration was so poor that I've had no interest in reading anything, yet alone, someone else's selection.

I think this just goes to show us all how each of us grieves and responds to loss differently. Unlike livingbyfaith, I found comfort in every card. Yes, they were painful to read, but then, anything and everything associated with my loss was. And even though the tears flowed as I opened each one, but I vowed at the time, as a result of my personal reaction, that I would always send cards...and never send books! I never realized anyone else might view it differently...

I had the opposite reaction to the cards. Each one felt to me like a message of love, they were a great comfort to me. I am planning on taking them out and rereading them all on the one year date which is next Wednesday. I know it will be a very hard day and I am hoping the cards are once again a comfort. I had several friends that continued sending me "thinking of you" cards throughout the year, that was such a loving gesture and I will never forget their thoughtfulness. I will try to do the same for others in the future. I hope one day your cards will make you smile, we all deal with things a bit differently Hugs to you!

everyone has different triggers. Im sorry they were rough on u. for me, I appreciated getting them. just knowing someone was thinking of me made me feel better.