Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My husband died last January 22. We went for heart surgery to repair his valve and give him more bypasses. He had had five bypass surgery 18 yrs ago when we first got together. He did fine afterwards and we got to come home on a Tues. and he wanted to step outside on the porch on Sunday morning. He stood there for a few minutes at the porch rail and then his eyes rolled back and he fell backwards into my arms. I tried for twenty minutes to revive him but I believe now that he was dead before he hit the ground.
I am lost without him. I go to work and come home. We have a farm and I am struggling to keep it all going. My son is helping for now. We had plans to travel in two yrs. when I retired from teaching.
I am tired all the time. I miss the closeness of sleeping next to him and stay up so I don't have to go to bed. I hate eating out by myself, I hate other people sitting there having fun and talking. We used to do that.
I have gone to Griefshare and they are so nice but all I do is cry the whole time. They say it is going to get easier but what if it doesn't??
I hate being alone, we did everything together. It was just me and him and we had a blast all the time. I lost a good friend because she told me to quit bwording about everything and it hurt me to the core, so now I don't talk to anyone about him and how much I miss him. They think I am getting better at work because I fake it so well.
I have learned to say I'm Fine to everyone. I keep reliving how he died and how helpless I felt. I am tired of being so sad and depressed. I don't know what to do next in my life. One day at a time is just not good enough!! I am tired of being alone having no one to talk to, I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this, there is no future in this.
I am lost without him. I go to work and come home. We have a farm and I am struggling to keep it all going. My son is helping for now. We had plans to travel in two yrs. when I retired from teaching.
I am tired all the time. I miss the closeness of sleeping next to him and stay up so I don't have to go to bed. I hate eating out by myself, I hate other people sitting there having fun and talking. We used to do that.
I have gone to Griefshare and they are so nice but all I do is cry the whole time. They say it is going to get easier but what if it doesn't??
I hate being alone, we did everything together. It was just me and him and we had a blast all the time. I lost a good friend because she told me to quit bwording about everything and it hurt me to the core, so now I don't talk to anyone about him and how much I miss him. They think I am getting better at work because I fake it so well.
I have learned to say I'm Fine to everyone. I keep reliving how he died and how helpless I felt. I am tired of being so sad and depressed. I don't know what to do next in my life. One day at a time is just not good enough!! I am tired of being alone having no one to talk to, I don't want to spend the rest of my life like this, there is no future in this.
People really don't understand. As Sharon said, the only thing that kept me going too was this group. We understand. We've been there. Sending gentle hugs your way.
You are tired and sick and angry and sad and...and... So come here and rest your tired, sick, angry, sad... self upon a shoulder, take an offered hand or embrace a healing hug. We understand.
Welcome to our circle of grief. Wish you didn't have to be here...
Hugs,
Terry
I am not leaving my home and farm, I know that, even tho well meaning people have suggested that. I still want to travel and go camping and have a life. It is just no fun alone with no one to share it with. I read someone's article saying that the love two people shared is something to be valued and treasured and to be thankful for. Some people never get that and it is to be a lesson to pass on to other people that we meet along the way. I have more compassion for people in grief now than I ever did. Maybe that is a lesson we all needed to learn in our lives.
I'm tired all the time also, having to do the work of 2, and not working outside the house is very lonely.
I wouldn't talk to that old friend either, but.......they just don't know.......until it happends to them! Maybe you could send her a note and explain.
I think it does get easier some days but then it all comes back on other days. I am at 14 months and it still hurts like crazy. We just have to hang on and live 1 day at a time. Don't look to far ahead is the key.
Hugs,
JoAnn