My prayers are with you.

Edie
Sending a prayer for you to find some comfort and peace for even a little while.

You are so new at this, I remember that trying to get things done but not being able to do it. I learned I just needed to not worry about them, sit down and just sit. Now I am over doing going mile a minute, I am learning I need to slow down now. I believe this is typical, normal and part of the grief process.

A good suggestion given to many here was to journal, writing your feelings and what you are feeling down on paperwork. I think it helps take it from your chest and put it out there, it usually helps.
One thing not to do Beat yourself up, you will gradually feel better, and have bad days again and again. Sad days always, I wish you the best.

You are doing ok - you really are! Whatever you can manage to do is ok - be kind to yourself as you are in a very difficult part of this journey.
If you are up to it perhaps try to plan a small thing that you enjoy occasionally - or at least something that you previously gained joy from - simple things like visiting a coffee shop - or taking a walk or visiting with a friend- anything.

It is good sometimes to have something different or variable - just to avoid cabin fever and to feel that you have something to do. If you gain any enjoyment from it - that is a bonus.

Hugs
Debbie

Dear Edie, I was heartbroken when I read your post. Grieving is really tough and there are many days when we DO feel as if we aren't going to make it.

A suggestion is to change your daily routine if you can. Sometimes we just need to be distracted from the grief for awhile. Set yourself a very small and attainable goal each day. I remember when my goal would simply be to make my bed. Then I would set a goal to clean up 10 pieces of paper off my desk or weed one small section in my backyard. You get the idea. Accomplishing even a small goal makes you feel better.

Hope that helps and know that many thoughts and prayers are headed your way.

Hugs, Tami

I am so sorry for your pain, but appreciate you sharing the feeling here. I am at two and half months, and am still struggling every single day. Hearing others feeling as i feel, lets me know I am not loosing it. I am sorry we have such a thing in common. I work at home, and cant hardly function for thinking of him so much. They say we will get better with time,time time. Our only choice is to live it one minute at a time. I have to admit, in the beginning i did not think i could make it two months with so much pain, but here i am going on two months and 17 days. I focus on 5 min at time now, and when i get there i consider it an accomplishment in whatever Gods long term plan may be. Prayers to you.

I am sending up a prayer for you. I lost my husband 2 months ago and I too find it difficult to make it through day. I hope in time , day by day and with prayer that the hurt will become bearable for us both.

Dear Edie:

Here's sending virtual hugs - we've all been where you are. Just start with something very small and take it one step at a time.

Deborah

Edie, we all feel your pain. We, too, have been there when there seemed to be so little left of our lives. Grieve in your own way and in your own time. And don't necessarily pay attention to all the advice you will get. Think of one day at a time and I promise you things will s-l-o-w-l-y begin to get better. My heart goes out to you and I will pray for your pain to heal.
Kathleen

I'm with you. Don't you wish your purpose was written out for you? I do.. Wish I knew what mine is. I lost my husband five months ago after 19 years together. Tami had a ggod suggestion. I started out very similar to that about making a small goal. Mine was to sweep the floor. I then found I needed the physical exertion. When I feel crazy and going to just collapse I get the rake, the shovel or the scrub brush. Granted some days I just attack the same area over and over but it helps.

Sorry you are having such a hard time now that your support has left you for a time. Sometime our prayers for purpose seem to fall on deaf ears but just the fact we are still here and surviving is proof God Is listing and has a plan' It may not be a grand path but just little things in our everday life where we may effect someone or something without you or I being aware of our influence. Dave

I am so sorry you are having to go through this, I know only too well of the pain of which you speak and how debilitating it can be.
I agree with the advice you have which is to be kind to yourself, be your own best friend and if you feel like doing nothing for a while, then give yourself permission. I find if I do that, it takes the preassure off and the feelings of failure if I do not achieve much, and has the added bonus that without the preassure I often get on and find I do achieve.
At times I find myself saying to myself ,keep moving, just keep moving and I do one smal job after another.
Another tip is to set the timer and just do 10 minutes - amazing what you can achieve, and once started you may find you want to keep going.
Lastly I found it good to do one thing every day to improve my life.
Keep praying and keep going xxxx

I am at 11 months today, when I was where you are now, I could never imagine being here. But it WILL happen for you too. One day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time/ Higs, Wendy

Hello Edie, I too was married for 27 years and my husband just passed away 2 weeks ago. I just returned to work to keep busy It seems to help me get back into some sort of routine. When Im home I too get depressed remembering everything we built together. I still havent been able to sleep in our room yet, and everytime I go to our closet I break down. The bedroom still smells like him and I havent had the nerve to go in and clean it out for fear of loosing his scent. I feel like I was robbed in this life, but then again maybe I was blessed to have had 27 truly happy years. I truly felt that I was going through this whole process alone but after reading your post I realize Im not alone. I know its gonna be a hard journey ahead, but I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts. Yvette

Edie
Your post made me think: I realized for me I had tried to do things around the house but the only things I have been doing full force ahead was things like tearing my bathroom apart. Today I vacuumed my whole house, moped my floors second time in 6 1/2 months (I hate to admit this but truly ???) Getting the normal things done that I did was hard, but my needing to do something to help me get through things I did the out of realm stuff. I think it was my way of coping & your post made me realize that too. While it took me all this time it I realized still how hard doing every day things have been.
My clean house is good now. And now for the first time in 6 1/2 months I am gonna go have a hamburger, something I have put off doing for so long. Unfortunately all alone but it struck me as something I was stuck on. Realizing it made me cry but I did it.

I think these things are normal, or maybe I am not but the moving on is tough.

Edie I can feel your pain and can understand because it is how I feel most days. Sometimes I wonder if things will ever get better for us. I pray that we all get through this some how and find some peace and joy in our lives again. Thinking of you, hugs Lu Ann