Anger is a stage and I think a release that we were not able to change the things that happened. My biggest anger episode was at his clothes, of all things. He had lung and bone cancer, could not walk, could not move in the bed at all except for his arms, etc. He could not wear his regular clothes for a long time. I had to slit a t-shirt up the back to slip it on because he could not lean forward to slip it over his head because of the pain. I thought all of this was so unfair to him and he didn't deserve it. A couple of weeks after his death I got mad at the clothes (weird, huh). Every time I saw them I came unglued. I had DS over and we went through them and he picked out what he wanted. Then we got them together and my cousin took them to our church good will store. I felt a sense of relief at not having to look at them. I later had some regret at doing this so soon but I got so upset seeing them. Anger is a normal part of grief .

Thanks so much for your wonderful replies. This site is such a source of comfort. I am still in contact with people from the crohns site too, everthing helps. I transferred Pat's car to my name yesterday in order to sell it. It took 2 hours, and staff were very in-sensitive. My friend complained to the manager who promised she would speak to her staff. Who needs to hear the "D" word all the time... not me. I had a melt down at the insurance company, but hey, that was ok. Hugs, Wendy

I'm nearing 2-1/2 years, and I still get angry. I just get angry over different things now than early on. And like KS56 said, the stages of grieving aren't exactly stages - it's not 1-2-3-4 and you're done. Different things will pop up and you'll go back and forth, back and forth through them again and again. The good news is that when the stages reoccur, they get easier to deal with and they get get farther and farther apart time-wise.

You have every reason to be pissed off, and it's okay to get angry. Just make sure you have a way of letting off steam that doesn't hurt yourself or someone else. I pounded my pillows, and I cussed a blue streak in the car (by myself), or I journaled about it. I vented in counseling. And I came here and vented, too. I like the ping-pong ball idea - wish I had thought of that one.

Love and Hugs, Martha

Hi Patswife - I'm a Patwife too. Just out of curiosity - how much did it cost transfer the car to your name? We have 4 cars and none were in my name. It will cost $100 per car to have them transferred over.

In Canada it is $28.00 or maybe $26.00 for a transfer. Plus $20.00 at a Notery for estate details.

I am so sorry for your loss - I know how angry you feel. It will be 11 months since my husband passed away and I feel VERY angry. The anger and sadness is so strong. I feel so alone, and it seems that everyone around me has happiness in their lives. I too am not angry at my husband, he gave it his all and fought till the end. I just wish I could figure out a way feel better. Bless you!