It's been 14 months for me and I still get angry and kick doors and pound walls with my fist. And like you, I am not angry at my husband, I am angry that I have to be without him. In the beginning I wanted to throw things so I bought ping pong balls and when the urge got so great I would throw them and not hurt anything. I am stil just about as mad and sad as I was in the beginning. I guess everyone is different though. I am so sorry for your loss. Please take care, Robin

Wendy, I am so sorry for your loss. You are perfectly normal. Everyone grieves differently. Anger is a part of grieving. It was 4 months for me April 15 plus that day would have been his 58th birthday. I was angry with God first then with Barry and I still am angry with him because he promised he would get better and come home and he didn't. My prayers are with you and believe me that this is a place that understands how you feel. Ellen

I am so sorry for your loss......and sorrier still, to have to tell you that I think this anger at our loss will be a part of our new "normal" for some time to come. Take care. Dianne

A month into this black hole in space, so new and raw. I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to find your way here. I must say that DS is a life saver. You will go through so many emotions, you are just now beginning to thaw out. All of the things YOU have to take care of, YOU have to do alone, YOU have to face...it's enough to really pi** you off so anger is one of the very real stages.
This site is here for you to vent, to get validation for your feelings, to know you are not alone, we ALL have felt, are feeling or will feel anger, pain, grief and whatever emotions exist on this roller coaster of dealing with the loss of our spouse.
Hugs2U..Linda

Hi Wendy, I am so sorry for your loss and what you now have to go through. Anger is normal and anger is necessary to get those raw painful emotions out. With me it has come and gone for the past few years, even when Mike was sick. I was not mad at him, I was mad at the disease that took his life. After he died, I was angry at just about everything and everyone at some point. Still mad but not so often anymore. Hang in there , one step at a time. Cindy xxoo

I felt the anger, too. My sweetheart shouldn't have died from his injuries...it was the infections that killed him, and it made me very angry. I still feel anger that it happened, but mostly now what I feel is lost and alone without him. It looks as though anger is a part of our grieving (just don't put holes in the walls because it's a PITA to fix them!), not to mention you could end up with your paw in a cast:(

Sorry for your loss. Anger is one of the stages of grief. Your loss is still so recent, you'll find yourself facing so many emotions, half of the time you'll feel like you are losing your mind. Feel free to consult this site, you'll always find to encourage, support and guide you.

So sorry your husband had to leave. It makes me angry that Rob had to leave me. He didn't ask for brain cancer, I didn't want to watch him die or be a widow. I don't want to be alone without the love of my life. You bet I am angry. Nothing I can do about it but express it and then let it go until it returns again. Yes, I hear it is just part of the grief package, like sadness, confusion, memory loss, isn't enough- even all that makes me angry. It is 13 weeks 5 days for me, I was angrier at one month. Sorry again, glad your on site. Hug, Donna

Anger is the way we make it through the day sometimes. Your feeling. are not only normal, they ae good for you. It is a way we release those feelings we cannot cry about any more. Good luck and it will get better.

I'm very sorry for your loss. Anger is definitely part of the grieving process. I've learned that personally and from being here, as well as from my reading. In a very real way, everybody here was terribly RIPPED OFF.

I'm not angry at my husband, who himself was angry and heartbroken and wanted so desperately to live and have a nice long normal life together. Probably at blind impersonal fate. I keep hoping to wake up from this nightmare.

Hugs, Gail

Anger is one of the stages of grief. The stages are identical to the stages a person goes through when they discover they are dying. I'd hoped to avoid it as I had studied this in psychology and knew what to expect. Still, I'm angry at my husband for ignoring my advise. It's healthy and expected as long as you recognize it and don't let it consume your whole life.

To find out more about this, just enter "Stages of grief" in your search engine and tons of sites will come up.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also felt the intense anger that you are feeling at first. It was my first question on DS because I was so concerned at how out of control with rage I felt at everything but nothing specific. People here helped a lot in explaining that it was perfectly normal and a natural part of grief. I think it comes on once the numbness starts to wear off and we start to realise that it really has happened and cannot be undone. As others say it will continue on and off for a long time but at 3 months now mine is definitely easing off. All sorts of other emotions hit repeatedly but I am able to get the anger more in perspective and it doesn't overwhelm me as it did. Please keep reading and writing on here. Everyone here understands and won't hold it against you if you let it out. It's more difficult to show such anger in the 'outside' world without potentially causing yourself more problems but it is important that you vent your feelings. Don't be hard on yourself about it, it's natural and will settle down. Sending you hugs and kindest thoughts.

its been neally 6 months for me i feel for you, me id say its like being on a roller coaster ride your emotions are everywhere,then when i did smile or even laugh havent done that in ages i felt guilty cause i smiled or laughed, they say it gets better but without these ds friends i thought i was going mad they where here helped me through it my ups my downs these guys where here making sure i was ok thanks guys

It's been almost 6 months or me. I didn't feel real angry at him until I started having health problems. Then I was like, "hey, I was there for you, but now you aren't here for me!" I thought he "deserved" to be on the other end for once after all the time I spent in clinics and hospitals with him, and he got out of it because he died! I got over it, but still have to have surgery, and now realize how alone I am and how far I am from good medical facilities. I am not sure even who will drive me home after surgery next week. My family and his are offering to step in, but everyone has to arrange their schedule and travel to be here.

Wendy, I'm so sorry that you also are on this journey of grief and suffered the loss of your husband. Anger is a big part of it. Everyone says it's a "stage" but it doesn't come and then just leave and you go on to the next stage. It keeps coming back over and over. Same for all the other stages, it's not one at a time, but back and forth or sometimes several at a time.

When I first read that widows are angry - I thought - not me! Well, my middle name could be angry. I have been angry at just about everyone and everything, including God. Now I"m mostly just angry at life. We all hae been cheated out of a lot. And it makes you angry, real down right blasted angry. All of it, the death, going on, not having them with us, other people, them, ourselves.

You are prefectly normal and you need to express it. It's not a bad thing, it's a normal part of it. At DS, we let it all out. And everyone understands.Hugs.