Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I went out on a date for the first time since the passing of my husband. It has been a little over a year. The guy I was with told to stop thinking of the past and to get on with my life. He told me my husband was dead and I was still living. I told him that it was not that easy to forget all the years and love we had between us. He told me that if I wanted to get on with my life I could do anything I wanted to do. He said that I liked feeling this way. How would any of you respond to someone that talked to you like this?
Love and Hugs,
Martha
It probably took you along time to start to date. the 1St guy was an idiot.
Do not let this guy stop you from having fun dating or just being friends with guys. I one bad apple does not need to spoil the basket. Just throw that bad apple out, and enjoy the rest.
#2 - you must have been acting in a way that made this guy comment like he did. He gets minus points for tact and style. However there might to be some truth in what he noticed....
1st) it says that we widows should be able to enjoy life being on our own before dating.
2nd) it said that when we date, we should try not to bring up the Ghost of the Past. If asked, then talk abt the passing, but if not asked, then don't talk about it.
Therefore I ask: Are you ready to date yet?
As for the date's comments, I agree with all the others. Your spouse was a big part of your life that cannot be discarded. He's insensitive to your needs and feelings. There are plenty of other men out there. This one is NOT for you.
I did tell him that I was nervous because he was my first date in thirty-five years. Then he asked me some questions about the death of my husband. I told him it was very hard to talk about. I guess it was too early for me to start dating but I do get really lonely. Most of my friends have husbands or boyfriends
I too get really lonely. I get so tired of doing stuff by myself all the time. I thought a lot about dating, but I am just not ready for it right now. Finding new female friends is hard. Everyone has their own schedule and agenda's. After this snow thaws out, I am hoping to join a meet-up group of some sort.
IF you lived closer to me, I would gladly meet with you. We could be lonely together.
Hugs.
If there are meet up groups in your area, try that? or do things that you have always wanted to try. But don't give in to someone just to avoid being alone,especially a person with that attitude.
Gentle hugs
jewells
Can't imagine someone saying those things to me. I've got a few friends that think I should take the ring off and start dating. But when I say no they let it go. I may never take the ring off or date, who knows what will happen.
Diane