The only time we spoke about death and finances was when he would spend larger amounts on stuff or want to give his two children money. Then I would tell him what would be my financial picture if he died before me. His kids & their spouses had incomes more than 4X ours & spent like there was no more tomorrow so I did not see why we had to keep bailing them out. Then, a couple of weeks before his surgery we spoke of burial places just in case. He was worried about the timing of surgery - late January - because his mom and dad both died in the month of February. I think he did have some premonitions.

Here is what is more interesting - my daughter was 15 when my husband died. I knew that in the month or so before he died that she had not been sleeping well. It was not until after he died that she told me that she had been having dreams that he would die for month before it happened. And - although he had serious health problems - she really was not aware of it, although he had been sick with a bad cold. But he'd had a cold many times.

When I was a kid I dreamed that Kennedy was killed (Robert) the night he was shot. I dreamed that my grandfather died and he died a week later. Kind of makes ya wonder.

Since my husband passed because of complication cause by cancer, we had many discussions about dying, but oddly enough, not that many of these discussions included details about what he wanted me to do as far as the service or anything like that. I knew he wanted to be cremated because we had discussed that. Originally he wanted his ashes scattered in the ocean because he had never been to the ocean, however last summer we went to DC on vacation and took a day trip down to VA beach so he did get to see the ocean. Now I am left wondering what to do with the ashes. There is obviously no rush so I am just going to keep thinking on it. There are a couple of other things that we always talked about doing so I am going to decide if I want to do one of those things and scatter the ashes then.
Silly things like the name and password for our wireless router are things that I didnt get answers for. :-/

@ Macmom...isn't that the way it is...Bill and I had a year and a half to prepare...and three weeks knowing that the end could come any day...and we talked about everything...oh...except passwords and such. Luckily all of our boys know their way intimately around computers...and the youngest hacked it and was able to get to all his music files he had been working on for his album...or the thing would have been a paperweight...and the music lost.

Carla

We had talked about it several times over the years. I knew he wanted to be cremated and where I'm to spread his ashes. I've still not spread his ashes.....am waiting for a time where both my son and I can go and jobs are getting in the way. He also told me to sale all his belongings. So far, I've sold his truck and motorcycle. Have a lot more to do in that department....tools.....a business full of them, the value of which I know little.

Several weeks before he passed, I renewed my life insurance and noticed his had lapsed. I sent away for info to re-enroll....got it in the mail the day he left this earth. I, however, had had a STRONG premonition that something was going to happen to ME. I went to the bank, firmed up our affairs there and made sure he would have access to all my work-related 401Ks, etc. Another weird coincidence....when we moved from Louisiana, we kept our license tags and hung them on the side of the refrigerator with magnetic tape. I noticed the dates of their expirations not long ago...his truck tag expired July, 2009...when he did. My car tag, October 2010, when his little dog passed. I'm not looking at the tag on my car. I figure I'll renew it as soon as I get a notice in the mail.

My husband had terminal Liver Cancer so we knew what was going to happen once he was taken off the liver transplant list. My husband wanted to be cremated and left me a list of several places to scatter small amounts of his ashes. All the places that meant so much to him. The first ones I did in Aruba..we had already made all the arrangements to go but he didn't make it so I flew off to Aruba alone three months after he died. My daughters joined me my second week there and we scatter his ashes in the water on the beach he loved so much. We also scattered some off of Nubble Light House in Maine and his son hiked to the top of Mt. Washington in NH and scattered some there. My husband would climb it every year. Some are in the gardens in our back yard and also off of a waterfall in NH where we would go every year for Memorial day weekend. I still have to scatter some where he camped as a child and on his Mom and sister grave. And then I will save a small amount that he wanted buried with me. I also buried his ashes last Memorial Day because he was a Vietnam Vet and I felt that was the best time to do it. I was lucky that he had left me that list but even if he hadn't I knew the places he loved because I do as well and when my time comes my kids will be traveling all over to scatter my ashes where his are and then bury the rest with him.

Like many of you, Mike and I were able to talk a bit about these things...we knew his prognosis was not a good one...stage 4 renal cell cancer with mets in the bone, lungs and brain.
I knew he wanted to have his ashes spread on the golf courses he played at, so our son will start to do that this summer.
When we go the diagnosis, I started to cry and Mike said "You'll be okay"...he knows how strong I am...and he mentioned his life ins. policy. I am so blessed that he had the foresight to have that policy...our bills are paid and I don't have to stress about that. God had a plan even in that. And I have his ashes in a wooden box that one of my family friends from when I was a child made us for our wedding day. that's his resting place... and in the arms of Jesus.
I know where he is and I will see him again someday.

we never really talked about death..but i did remind him to make sure things were taken care of incase he wasnt with me anymore..i too, dont know what made me do that, what kept eating at me to keep reminding him..but i did...maybe i was afraid of what would happen if i were left alone...as i am now...we always tried to stay positive while he was in all his treatments...so we never really discussed a lot about death...i always thought i would die first..as he was always so healthy, until the cancer came and got him...

I wanted to talk about it just in case, when he retired, and hehad a death option there. He did not want to pick that option, felt it was bad luck, if he did he would die early. He loved me dearly, but, was so very sure, he was going to live long, like ALL his relatives, he is the baby of many siblings, all alive.... I respected his choice...and now, am have no income. My intuition, at the time was to try and change his thoughts, but, I respected what he wanted.

i have experienced this too
my barry passed away on my lap in our living room as my daughter and i panicked as he suffocated due to a massive embolism (bood clot) in his heart...he was in great heath and only 45...it was horrid. but several this took place weeks, maybe month before he passed almost as if God was leading....
some examples...
i started having worsening anxiety..one day i began singing softly to myself - fly, fly, fly... fly, fly, fly - barry thought i was crazy sing to myself but it calmed me inside for some reason.
then about 3 weeks before he passed i began to add love, love, love, fly, fly, fly... love, love, love, fly, fly, fly..
i sensed i need to shop for a black dress since xmas but assumed it would be for my father as he is getting elderly...
also, barry and i went on two wonderful trips the last month before he died... we shared so many special things, we even had our own language of sorts...
he began to sleep alot about 2 wks before he passed and his appetite was nil... we had a talk about salvation the monday before he passed which normally he would not be open to, but he not only recieved it, discussed it, but spoke the words - and i am not one to be pushes or even witness but i do have strong spirtual beliefs.
they are other things that are more personal that i would like to savor to myself right now... but yes, i do think perhaps the soul does know when the time is drawing close.... i just saw living proof.

Because my husband was 87, we did talk about death and what he wanted some time ago.
There weren't any last minute "trying to figure things out" plans. All was in place. His cremation was pre-paid and we had discussed his desires a number of years ago.
I am now trying to talk to my sons about my last wishes. They really doesn't want to t discuss it, but it has to be done. Judith

As it became apparent that he was not going home from the hospital on the last trip, his daughter and I were discussing what to do with his ashes(we had always told each other that we would be cremated). We were talking about where to put the ashes, and I said let's ask him. He was having a hard time speaking, but I leaned close and he said his father's name. His father was killed in Europe during WWII and is buried near his own father. So, next month, on Armed Forces Day, family and friends will gather in Kansas and we will inter his ashes between his father and grandfather. Afterward, we will hold a celebration of his life.

When I met my husband he was 26 years old, he told me from day one that he would not see 65. I thought he was crazy, who can know that! Several years ago he purchased two life insurance policies. For the last two years I had harped on him to drop the policies. All the kids were out of the house and college, we both had good jobs and the house was paid for, I though it was ridicules to keep paying the premiums. He kept telling me that I would be glad one day, that he knew he was going to die long before I did. He died at 62. He knew he was dying, but he was not afraid to die. We talked about it a lot for the five months he was sick.

Ken and I had always talked about what to do after one of us died.. We were to be cremated and depending who was the survivor the other would keep their ashes and when the other passed our ashes would be mixed together.. Our wedding rings have engraved our wedding date.. April 28th, through eternity.. Ken had that put in them I didn't know it till the day we were married.. We told both our kids our wishes when they were older and now they know that they are to take their dad's ashes back to the funeral home and they will put my ashes in with his.. My son asked the funeral home when he picked up his Dad if we would both fit in the urn that we purchased and they said yes and when the time comes just bring him in and they would do it for him and his sister..We then told them they could do with us what they want.. as long as we weren't put in the ground.. neither of us want to be buried..
Two weeks before Ken became ill I had gone into his room to ask him something he was watching some movie on his computer he turned to me and said "What do you think death is like?" I told him " I think it is like when we go to sleep, We don't know anything again" He looked at me and said I hope so that would be nice eh? I didn't think anything of it as we do have a weird sense of humour and would talk about strange things but now I wonder if he wasn't feeling well then and had a feeling something wasn't right.. You would have never known anything was wrong with him up to the day he took ill March 1st. He did get all the life insurance policies out on his desk.. all his passwords were written down to everything.. He cleaned out so much paper work etc.. Now seems all so strange.. He died 11 days after taking ill.. His memorial Celebration of His Life is this Sat.. he didn't want a funeral I don't either he didn't want anything but his work is having such a hard time with his death they all want this memorial..
I am going to pay for my cremation next month so it will be one thing paid for ,,for the kids.. they know my wishes we do talk about it all..

mike and I talked about death because for Two years before he got sick I was undergoing chemo and radiation for breast cancer, He would tell me that noone was going to die here and he wasnt ill But kept telling me what to do in case something happened to him.. He passed away six months after my final treatment. I never imagined it wouldnt be me and wonder how I would have won the fight without him everyday telling me WE WILL BEAT THIS. Could I do it without him I dont know, I doubt it because my greatest worry was leaving him to handle everything without me. Miss him more everyday.