George, I'm So sorry for your loss. Perhaps there is a bereavement group in your area that you may find comfort in attending. I wish you Peace and strength. Dolores

George - I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand the anxiety, as I went through it myself. I think having mortality smack you in the face, up close and personal, is enough reason to feel anxious and panicked, not to mention dealing with life without our loved one. Take the xanaax, it's given for a reason. (just be careful with it). My thoughts? You're doing the right thing to calm yourself, music can be soothing, for sure. Can you journal, or talk into a tape, to get the thoughts out? Writing stuff down in a journal helped me (and I'm up to 500 plus pages). Joyful? Not just yet - but you'll get there, down the road. Hugs, Marsha

Mornings are hard for me also. What I have found to work well for me is a routine and spending some time outdoors. A cup of tea/coffee while the sun comes up is very calming. Also list making that way I'm not overwhelmed at the end of the day because I forgot to do something.
As far as anxiety and waiting for the next crisis that feeling does pass. Someone explained that sense of approaching disaster happens because your emotions are so exposed and near the surface. I feel like it happed to me because my safety net is gone and if I could prepare myself for impending doom it will hurt less when something does happen. Just take the day hour by hour. Yoga does wonders for my anxiety- if you interested I can pass some web links along.
Just take it day by day or hour by hour.

Hi, George, in the early morning, just get out and walk, and keep walking, bring a water bottle, and drink lots of water, breathe the fresh air, look at the flowers and trees, birds, honey, until you find a place to yell and scream and cry where no one can hear you, or kick some rocks. That's what I still do 14 months later, power walk, it clears your mind, makes you calm and peaceful. Also, as Laurie suggested, yoga is so beneficial, emotionally, physically, it releases those deeply imbedded emotions of grief and shock when you do yoga postures, and also meditation. It is sure worth it. I have been doing yoga and meditation for over 4 years now. When my John was in the ICU I was on the floor doing my yoga postures, when they wheeled him to MRI, I was on the floor doing my yoga postures. They didn't know what I was doing, didn't care, but I knew I was pulling myself emotionally out of a trauma, and calmed me down, without Rx medications. Take care.
Hugs, Nanette

I have the same issue , evenings are better . Mornings the moment I wake feels like and nightmare and then when reality sinks in feels like your soul is taken away from the body , anxiety and lots of attacks . What is life for this day without him , why there is a sunrise even without him . This group has helped , parents help. I haven't even thought of getting out and going for work yet . So in deep depression . But yes hour by hour or day by day . With the hope that someday things will be better for us all .

I lost my husband, best friend and soulmate June 19, 2015. It is going on 1 year and 5 months. I can't believe it's been this long. I am alot better. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks since 1988....28 years ago. I went to recovery meetings. Dr. Abraham Low. The websight is recoveryinternational.org. It is unbelievable the tools for coping with life they have. there are books, online chat rooms, online meetings phone meetings and live meetings. It's all about spotting your thoughts. It helped my husband during his 2 year illness with stage 4 melanoma. 3 weeks is so new. I was in a fog for a year. I went and got a job in a cute little card craft store which filled my empty evenings of hell. being with young upbeat people and keeping busy kept me going. I just pushed myself to get out exercise and be with positive people. I wake up now still most days with heart palpitations but they don't alarm me and once I relax and say 4 words. DISTRESSING BUT NOT DANGEROUS. feelings rise and fall. feelings don't last forever even good ones. bare the discomfort and comfort will come. These are some good spots for me. change your thoughts from bad to good be optimistic and help as many people as you can. You are still here make the most of it. Take care it takes time, be kind and gentle to yourself and do what makes you feel good

Mornings were always hard for me because we would sit and enjoy our coffee together. I began writing to him in a notebook and just letting out whatever was on my mind. I wrote 2 notebooks full which are now tucked away. I found it helpful for what I needed. Sharon

George: For the first year(I'm at 13 months) most mornings I read from a book someone(don't remember who) gave to me early on. I I did this before I even got out of bed. Is is called Healing after Loss by Martha Whitmote Hickman. I also read from a devotional. It only took about 10 minutes but most days it started me in the right direction. That along with regular exercise and perhaps meditation may help you. I wish you peace on your journey. Marybeth

I write down too i havent read any of it yet..guess i am hoping in two years i may but maybe i never will as of the pain..

George I feel your pain. I too have to make sure to take my meds to get through the process. I feel overwhelmed going out and dealing with others. I have to work. But I would much rather stay in my home. It's becoming a struggle.
Hugs to you!! May positive things come our way to change how we feel.

Morning,
Read your post, I suffer from the same problem. My husband died just over 2 months ago and I have anxiety all the time. I take a clonazepam and it helps but I feel dread all the time. I have a lump in my throat. If you figure out how to get rid of this please let me know. Take care and feel better.

From the very first day, I relied on God to get me through because I realized that I could not do it in my own strength so I rely on His and He has always provided all that I need to get through this and all other adversities I have faced in my life although this one has been the most difficult one to go through. I have studied the Scriptures for over 35 years so I recall God's promises to mind and meditate on them and exercise faith in Him to keep them. He always has, I know He always will, that doesn't mean I never feel sad or that I don't miss my husband every day, it just means I have peace instead of anxiety. God's peace is always there for everyone when they look to Him for it. I am not religious, I do have a relationship with God and have total faith in Him to get me through anything. This link has many Scriptures for those going through the grieving process. https://www.hopefaithprayer.com/scriptures/comfort-during-grieving/

The anxiety and panic many of you talk about is exactly what happens to me. Completely new raw emotions. I try hard to pray but just can't find the words. My husband was sure of where he was going which gives me hope I will see him again. Thank you for the scriptures link.

Lately I get up put coffee on have a smoke and then a joint...then I go on my sites which help me see the humor in life..I get up at 4 am to achieve this every morning..so as to have My time..I am now really into these enlightened sites..lots of life saving quotes..then I will go for a walk if not frozen..to the river about a couple of blocks away..we live by the rapids and there are look out sites..I really connect to the All Mighty there..and people walk by and all talk to me usually..I sense the feeling of if they want to speak and most do ..I feel more love and acceptance from strangers then my own family..my kids are all grown