I ask myself the same questions.My Jim and I were together all the time. We were our own best friends. Now that he is gone (it's only been about 9 weeks) but I feel so very alone. we had a few friends we would do things with, but that hurts a little trying to see them and know they still have what I don't any longer. I absolutely know if Jim could still talk to me he would be very upset with me for sitting around and feeling sorry for myself. He is in a much better place. He is in a place with no more pain and suffering. I started going out for lunch with a couple of the girls I used to work with. It was hard the first time, because I didn't want to leave him alone ( this was a few weeks before he passed). I did go and I had a nice time relaxing and getting my mind off what was going on in our life. we planned to do it again in a few weeks. He passed and then the time came for us to meet again for lunch. Again I didn't want to go, but forced myself. The group had grown and we had a very nice visit. We are soon to do it again and the group has doubled again. It's just a couple of hours where you can feel sort of "normal" and I come away feeling a little lighter. I am also looking into volunteering. I love animals. I know the shelters can always use a little help. So I may start going to the shelter and spend a few hours. It's a chore I hate to think about, but after I am there, I feel "normal" and that is wonderful. Hope this helps just a little. It is hard, but we have to put ourselves out there. Cuz, the love we shared with our spouses is love we can share in our communities and make them happy with us as well. The love never dies, just the recipient.

Hello. My Ken and I were each others best friends. I did have two friends when he passed one a wife of a man he worked with and the other we met on line Chatelaine forums 15 yrs ago. Found we lived in the same city. We do tea now and then and plat Words with friends on Facebook. Playing the games with people there has kept my sanity.
Our small city has an Adult Community Centre that has crafts cards coffee clutches etc. Fee for the year.
I have moved into an apt building. Some of the ladies meet each afternoon in the Lobby and visit each afternoon for a couple hours. Lots of laughs. If it wasn't for them I'd not see anyone.
Was also thinking Library you might meet fellow reader or a book club. That meet once a month . Your city hall might be able to stear you to groups.

Just thought since you have gone to the same church for 40 yrs. They probably have a ladies auxiliary. Look into that,

I noticed on your profile that you like to quilt. Is there a quilt guild in your area? I belong to one and have made many good friends there. In addition to a monthly meting, they usually have smaller "group bees" where you can meet people in a more one on one setting. My guild also has "sew days", where we get together and sew all day. A quilt guild is a great way to meet women and be social!

I, too, am very lonely, and can relate to your post. It's the hardest part of this whole journey for me. My husband was my best friend, and we spent most of our time with each other. We didn't socialize much.

I used to participate with my quilt guild a lot before I lost my husband. I was a full time homemaker and had free time. Now I work full time, and as Roz said, I come home and collapse, and often spend the weekends relaxing and catching up. I have been trying to figure out how to fill this huge void in my life. My friends are usually busy with their families and grandchildren. I live in Hawaii and my kids are on the mainland. I live alone on a big piece of property and feel very isolated. I'm not used to working, and I have a hard job that isn't very fulfilling. I'm trying to find balance in my life. I would love to have more time to socialize, but I wonder if that really would fill the void I'm feeling.

Aloha~
Lori

For anyone who would like to meet-up; Horton [my Service Dog] and I will be at the Los Angeles Airport Marriott - 5855 W. Century Blvd., L.A. 90045 - on Saturday, February 20th at 4:00pm. You'll know who we are because you'll see a big, Black Lab [Horton] with a tall Blonde [Roz]. Please come over, say hello and introduce yourself.

I will make reservations in the restaurant for all of us. It'll be a guess. Don't worry about letting anyone know if you can or can not make it. I'll be there, the worst that can happen is Horton and I will have a lovely dinner out. The best will be that we'll make some new friends.

Take a chance and be there.

So far these are some of you who have shown interest:
knittingsuecq
Rainbow27
Erisedx
Roz

If YOU would like to join us just respond with your name or, if you've changed your mind and don't want your name on the list just respond to this narrative.

Roz

I have the same problem. My husband and I did everything together, I don't have friends, My co workers are all married and older than I am. (they are taking trips with their husbands and have grandchildren) I live in a very small town so social groups or activities are not available. Its hard to branch out because all I really want is my husband's company. I know that is impossible but its how I feel.

Hugs to you!!

Lisa

I do have friends. however, since I have never spent my free time with them (but with my husband), I do not find that they help to fill the void left in my life by him.
That void is in my own home. his absence during every-day things...
most noticeably, evenings.
I suppose we have to work super hard to re-train ourselves?
An old dog learning new activities is not real easy. because how we spend time is very habitual.
I would like to think that I can become more adjustable, but it is not easy to change habits of leisure time at home.
So, I go to the same places where he was always with me and it is many many triggers. Living in an extremely small town, there are just not many things to choose from, either!

I am in the same boat as you and I have made a few friends from Meet Up groups I joined and also from the site Girlfriendsocial.com. The only problem I seem to have, is finding time to do things with them. I still work and don't have a lot of free time. I have also made the realization that I like my alone time. I just have to make more of an effort I think, to be more social.

Paula

As they say your address book changes. People that you use to talk with ,you may no longer have them in your lives and thru this journey you add more. I know having friends on social sites is not as good as the ones in person but sometimes it better having them then the in the person ones.

Holy cow! I was coming here today to talk about the same topic! How's that for timing?!?!
I am having the same issues! all of my friends have families. Those that don't that I've reached out to just aren't working out to be the kind of friendships that I need.
I have met a nice lady through this site. We've had lunch once and plan to do it again. She lives a little further away so it's a little difficult to get together. She recommends widow groups. She's attended a few and had some opportunities to just go out for drinks with the group and "be normal". I haven't done that yet.
It sure is difficult to make friends. It seems especially difficult to be natural about it and not sound desperate. UGH! I haven't read the other posts here yet, but I'm going to. Hopefully there are some realistic ideas.

My husband was my best friend. We had couple friends who were his high school friends, they kept in touch but now after four years the relationship is not the same. I am an introvert so I find it challenging to make new friends. I turned to meditation and yoga, I learned to find inner peace and love myself. I can connect with people more now than I ever did. I have friends that I can rely on that I made on my own.

Antonella