Sandi, Thanks so very much for sharing.I have tried to deal with it up front and have cried more tears than I ever thought possible. Stuffing it just means as you state a hard rain is going to fall sooner or later. You cannot escape it and it must be dealt with. Pay me now or pay me later is very true concerning grief. The tears still come but now less often and the wave is shorter in duration. Writing a paper journal ending my 31 year association with Sal and officially ending my marriage on paper. I discussed the good and bad of our time together. It was difficult to write but it woke me up to the fact that the past is over and I'm entering a new chapter in my life journey. I guess it just solidified the fact that Sal is gone, our time is over and Dewman must look to what the futuer will bring. One never knows what is around the corner and we must be open to whatever presents itself. Best to all my (our) DS folks and I thank all of you for the support given to me. Peace to all! Dewman

Guy,
If only the answers were written down somewhere so that when we hit a certain stage we just have to look for the answer and that's what would happen. It's just not that simple.

I open the door at the end of the day and there's no one there to say, "hi honey, how was your day?" Morey used to call me "button" [it's all about the nose] and I'd wait for him to say the words "button, how you feeling today?" I must say, I NEVER got tired of hearing him say these words to me, NEVER!

Life will never be the same. We've lost our soul mates, our partners. Each day is another page torn out of the book of grieving, out of the manual of life. It's our job to mend that book and put it back together again.

I hope that you will find the peace within yourself and that you realize that Jalee will ALWAYS be inside of you, inside your heart.

Warmly,
Roz

We all handle grief indvidually. I cried and worked and tried to cope. Almost had a nervous breakdown and joined a grief support group. I was far from stoic.
My boyfriend who lost his wife. Drank for two straight weeks, said what the f... am I doing. Threw his life into taking care of his dog and rebuilding his career. (He took time off to take care of his wife.) Almost had a nervous breakdown, joined a grief support group. Much more stoic about it than I ever was.

One day at a time, one step at a time, as best you can on any given day. Please know that you are not alone.

Hugs,
Val

The way I handled it is by getting a dog. I never wanted one but it was the best thing I could have done. He gave me a reason to get up, something to talk to, to hug or even yell at. When thing got bad I'd take him for a walk and cry. He kept me busy for the first year since he was only 4 months old when I got him. If you don't have a dog or maybe if you do try getting a puppy it will keep your mind occupied. I also did jigsaw puzzles that took my mind away for a while.
Its a hard road to travel and after over 3 yrs I still have a hard time of it.
Just do a day at a time, one foot in front of the other. I read books on grief also, that seemed to help in the late hours.

Worst place to be. Generally women do better. It is the last thing we have to do for our spouse...saving them from the grief we are experiencing. Take care ... and Go Bucks ! ... my husband loved basketball we were both OSU grads :)