Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I have had some fun the last two days but I feel bad because he is not here having fun with me.My life is not the same and never will be again and I get that. But my heart just breaks becasue I fell toren between having fun with my daughter and her freinds or just be upset all the time.I dont know what to do because it has only been 7 weeks today. Dont get me wrong I truely miss my hubby with all my heart and soul but when you have young children it is hard to be misable all the time because you dont want that for them.
My other problem is my hubby was a mechanic and there is stuff I need fixed and this guy my hubby knows has ofter to help get the stuff fixed but I feel like I am asking way to much from him.I guess the bad thing is it like having my hubby back in some ways. How do I make it stop hurting or feeling like I am asking for to much? I also feeel bad because this guy makes me feel comfortable around, like I can cry infront of and he dont look at me like I am a wierdo. He also listen when I am really down .I feel like I am cheating on my hubby because it is a guy and not a girl. Why is my head so messed up?
My other problem is my hubby was a mechanic and there is stuff I need fixed and this guy my hubby knows has ofter to help get the stuff fixed but I feel like I am asking way to much from him.I guess the bad thing is it like having my hubby back in some ways. How do I make it stop hurting or feeling like I am asking for to much? I also feeel bad because this guy makes me feel comfortable around, like I can cry infront of and he dont look at me like I am a wierdo. He also listen when I am really down .I feel like I am cheating on my hubby because it is a guy and not a girl. Why is my head so messed up?
jeff
I am at the point right now that Charlie's friends are more comforting to me than my own. Yes, they are guys, but more than that they are hurting from losing Charlie, too and are willing to talk about him to me. I really need that. I don't feel guilty. I know they are helping me because that is what they would want for their own wives. I think Charlie is glad they are helping me and I'll bet Chris is glad his friend is helping you.
Julie
I, too, felt guilty about everything for the first 3 1/2 months after Darrell died. First smile, first laugh, etc. Guilty, guilty, guilty! I now have concluded that Darrell doesn't want me to hole up in the house and avoid other people. He's passed on to another plane, but I'm still here and need to continue my journey, which includes contact with - and even enjoyment from - other human beings, both male and female.
I believe our primary focus, now, is to heal. Whatever path leads each of us to that point matters not.
Hugs,
Terry