The only ones that ask anymore are his kids.
But for the most part I always said I was ok, mostly because I didnt really want to talk about it in public or at work. Always trying to hold it together.

Diane

Ive used all of these along with " Im still struggling". If I know they really want to know Ill go into more detail. Most are just being polite and really don't want to know how your "really" feeling.
Russ

I absolutely hate that question, although it is usually asked with good intentions. And I hate getting "the look" - a look of pity on their faces.
The people who ask how you are doing and already know what happened, really don't want to know that you are not okay and many expect you to be "fine" by now because they are clueless. And for those who don't know, I don't care to stand out in a public place and tell them or see the embarrassment of their faces when I do.

How do I answer depends on who asks. For the most part I can usually get away with "I feel like shit. How about you?"

Maggie

Sometimes I ask......fiction or fact??????
Know what you mean.......Lol

I'm going to start using Maggie's reply, that should stop them in their tracks. LOL
Russ

If it was a bad day, I'd say "I'm vertical", and leave it at that. "Hanging in there" was also a good open ended one. And sometimes I put up both hands, fingers curled, to accentuate hanging off a cliff. Too dramatic???

I usually reply "Not too bad ".

I tell the truth and get the feeling they really don't want to hear the truth. IF I lie and say I am doing fine, then people don't understand why I am not happier with my life.

I get the impression that people don't want to hear about the hardships of being widowed. They really don't care unless they are getting something out of it. This is why I prefer talking to other widows/widowers.

At this stage I just shrug my shoulders slightly and say, "I'm just doing".

Geo

I usually say I have my up day and I have my down days. Then I will say either to day is a good day or today is not so good. Then I ask "Why".

Right after Mark died, I would say " I'm here". I also used "okay", but it has only been in the last month that 'fine" has started slipping out (usually when I am on the phone at work). My sister thought it was an interesting distinction (okay over fine).

Like everyone else, I have my up days and my down days and I try to own them. Because it is what it is.

Well, I seems I am not the only one with issues on this question
I like Goldenearrings response, fact or fiction?
And GrokenGeos Im just doing