I received my widows packet from Widows.com. Tells of books to read

that's widowconnection.com

are you meaning the Griefshare handbook? I didn't care for it or the class.

It is not the Griefshare Handbook. It is the Grief Recovery Handbook. It is a workbook that helps you complete the grieving relationship. It identifies misinformation we've learned that can get in the way of healthy grieving. There are groups, but you can also just get the workbook. It asks questions to help uncomplicate grieving, has homework. I went ahead and bought it.

I haven't read the book, but I have read reviews. Some reviewers like it a lot. But one commented that the exercises are meant to be done with a partner -- and if you don't have a partner to do them with, the book can just increase your feelings of loneliness.
DorothyJoan

I am on the griefshare and I just got my book. I do think it helps because it pushes you to spend that time to journal and to answers questions that you dont necessarily take time to think about it.

Is online the only place you can get it? All the bookstores in this area closed down.

I got it on my Kindle, but you can get a used or new copy from Amazon. It's very helpful for me. I've had a difficult time aligning my brain and my heart and it is helping me do just that. It's a very "psychological" book that delves into the heart and emotion. The premise is that we tend to function more on intellect and overlook the heart in our culture. The exercises can be completed alone. You do not have to have a partner. The first edition required a partner, but the book states that every relationship is individual, therefore every persons grief recovery or experience is individual. Working through loss with another person has its benefits but its drawbacks as well. Like comparing or intellectualizing. But, like in this site, talking with other widows and widowers can be comforting. At the same time, we may use it to isolate us from our friends and family. I am guilty of sharing on here what I wouldn't dare tell someone who hasn't experienced the loss of a spouse. So, I like it so far. It's helping me bring my heart and mind together and understand what I'm feeling.

I have not read it, so I will interested to hear what you think of it. The founder and co-author John James got involved in grief work apparently after losing a 3-day old baby. He was a contractor/builder by trade. The book has very mixed reviews, with some people claiming it saved their lives and others saying it was awful, hurtful, unhelpful. It deals with all forms of loss - not just death/bereavement, so it includes job loss apparently as well as divorce and pet loss. One criticism I read in the reviews was that the book is not supportive of faith in healing after loss. Mr. James and his partner Mr. Friedman also seem to have gone out of their way to try and discredit the work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and they emphatically state that the stages of grief are a "myth."

That's an awful mixed bag of stuff. Let us know what you think of it. I am always looking for additional good books to help people. It you think it's awful, that would be good to know, too!! LOL!

Love and Hugs,
Martha

The widow connection kit, I received mostly tells how to start a grief group. Since there is no interest in this area. Its another one of those alone things, I have to do.

Elizabeth Kuhbler Ross studied people's responses to being told that they were going to die. She didn't study the relationships around them. Her stages if grieving refer to a person who is reviving the news they are terminal. I think that people grab hold of something like a lifeline. The stages of grief don't work for me. No denial, no anger, no bargaining. Just acceptance. I would like to understand the noise in my head and align my head to my heart, because they seem to be in two totally different places. So far, the book has helped me see that and understand my heart a little better. It's almost like comforting a child. My inner child who was hurt. My little ego :)

The stages of grief don't work for me. No denial, no anger, no bargaining

This statement intrigues me. Could you tell me more about it either on post or private message?

Does anyone else feel this way?
Sharon

I also found the stages of grieving didn't work for me either. One of my college classes was "Death and Dying and it was more from the prospective of the dying not the loved ones who are grieving. Sure I had/have the anger but there was no bargaining, or denial.

for anyone interested I found them online for about $4.00 including shipping: amazon

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0060952733/ref=dp_olp_used?ie=UTF8&condition=used

Sharon, those stages applied to Mikes illness, but not his death. I've only accepted his death. I've had anger toward God bc he didn't heal Mike, after people assured me that He would. I've had sadness, I've missed him, I've missed the partnership. But no denial. I haven't expected him to still be alive. No bargaining that God will bring him back. It just applies better to the stages of accepting death not the fallout after the death occurs. That's what I mean. I've tried to understand myself and my feelings since his death. It was, as someone else put it, a tsunami of feelings. Confusing, overwhelming, feelings i had never experienced, creating a lot of noise in my head.
He died of cancer and maybe those stages occur following a traumatic death