I am getting grieve therapy too. It gives us someone to talk to that will understand our needs.

I had two sessions of grief counseling with Hospice after my husband passed and I stopped going. I was so emotionally drained from reliving his death, being his caretaker, sobbing uncontrollably. I just couldn't bring myself to continue, was a wreck after each session. As I look back on it, I think it would have been of great benefit if I could have stuck with it. Everybody has their own path to walk with grief and do whatever feels right in your gut for yourself. I wish you well my friend. As for sleeping, the first six months I wrapped myself in his bathrobe, made me feel safe and I could get to sleep. A glass of red wine also helped....grief humor. Hope you find peace. Bless you.

Grief counseling did help me, but it took a while for us to build enough of a rapport for my counselor to be able to say what needed to be said and for me to accept it without being more hurt.
I didn't really sleep for 3 years after he died. (That was probably part of the problem.) I couldn't bring myself to change the bed linen. I could still smell the aroma of him. It takes time and when you are ready, little by little, you will begin to experience some relief from this overwhelming grief and loneliness. I will pray for you. I know that this is an excruciating experience. I wish that I could help ease your pain.

Thank you. That is now I felt. Reliving it. Constantly talking about him. I dont understand how that helps me. I will give it one more try. I like the idea of wrapping myself in something of his. I too want to save the smell of him. It is indeed excruciating and I've contemplated ending it all. I truly feel lost and miserable without him. To look into the future is terrifying. I do appreciate all of you and your kind words. Please know that it is greatly appreciated. You dont know me and yet you have been nothing but kind and giving.

Can 2 basket cases discussing these experiences be a healthy thing?
I hurt so bad tonight that the alternative to life was looking very possible.
The day started out great and just got lonelier by the minute.
And people can be so mean....

For sleeping at night, I find I sleep best when I am completely exhausted weather physically or emotionally. As busy as I am, It's not hard for me to get sleep. My therapist (grief councilor) gets to ask all the best questions, and I get the sense that with my answers, she is trying to get me to...i wont say change....but steer my thinking ...and /or thought process to a more constructive and less destructive pattern. All the while letting me know that everything I am feeling or doing is not only natural but healthy.....well except for that one question we must all confront regarding suicidal thoughts.

I like the way you worded that cowboy. Steer your thinking or thought process. I'll admit that I do that in talking with others. It's not in my nature to give negative advice. My experience is not as fresh as others so I tell people that in my case life has moved on somewhat successfully. It still hurts me deeply and in moving on it's definitely not the same as it was, but through effort and positive thinking and a little help from my friends life is as close to normal as it can be today. I had very little support from people in the beginning and I can say that it played a big part in my recovery. I tried suicide, but fortunately I failed. I talked to several counselors in my eight years and it was somewhat comforting too talk to them, but they merely provided insight into why I was feeling the way I felt. The changes in my life came from within. I'll never forget my true love. I think fondly of her everyday and sometimes she visits me in my dreams. Here I am today. Highest hopes to all.

Of course it's different for everyone, but I had only 2 therapy sessions out of 3 free sessions offered by the mortuary. First session, I was talking, she was taking notes. 2nd session, I didn't know what to talk about. She did not make the 3rd appointment, but left it opened to me - if I need, I can call.

I feel that the "live" support group is much better for me, when I am talking to like-minded people who are going through grief process, instead of talking to a medical professional. But that's just me.

I also cannot sleep, wake up every night since he got in ICU, through his hospital stay, through his rehab, through hospice, after the funeral... I don't work, so I can take a nap as needed.

I am starting to wonder if I should return. I definitely feel I get better support from talking to people who are going thru this with me or who have went thru it and are further along in their journey.

I started seeing a therapist as I went through the 2 month caretaking effort for my wife before she passed. I leave exhausted but I need somewhere to vent thoughts and emotions without judgement. Everyone's different though. If you don't think this person is helping, keep looking. I went through three people before I found the right therapist outside of our hospital world because I needed something for me.

As for sleep, I got no idea right now. Not doing a lot of that these days...

When I finally decided to see a grief therapist, it was after the multiple family losses that occurred after my husband's passing. I felt like death was the only thing I knew. Yes, grief counseling helps because, after a period of time, friends simply can't understand why you can't move on and enjoy life. The important thing, though, is that you have to find the right therapist. I was fortunate in that the first one I saw is still my therapist. If after the first one or two visits, you don't feel any comfort level, find someone else. Roxanne

I dont think I will return. Its really not helping me.

Grief is complex. I have worked as a therapist and have done grief work with clients. My own losses have helped me to understand how confusing and overwhelming that grief can be. I think that you need to be ready to talk about the enormous losses and to try to heal as much as you can. If you're not ready, it may not work. And I agree finding the right therapist is essential. Someone that you feel comfortable opening up to, someone who can simply listen at times, and someone who might be able to act as a guide in helping you make sense of the mess that death and loss leave in their wake.