I had the same thing happen to me when I drank alcohol....I would just start crying and not be able to stop. I too am staying away from alcohol. Hugs to you.

I've found it happening in any kind of social situation involving more than just 1-2 other people...whether I am drinking or not. Seems like I can now handle short periods of "group fun", then I lose it...find myself isolating in a bathroom, or excusing myself suddenly, because I can't deal with it. I end up sobbing on a toilet some where, or in the car in a parking lot, or in a front yard by a tree or a bush.

The pain hits hard and suddenly and I have to escape somehow to avoid it.

I tried drinking the other day....all I did was laugh with my neighbor, forget about a contractor who was coming over, and then tried to be serious when he arrived and was giving me quotes, etc. Disasterous. No melt down, however, until later that night...when I was alone. These lonely nights are killin' me.

I had a melt down at our friends last super bowl party as I walked into their house, no alcohol involved. I don't drink. My husband usually hosted the party, since he's gone, another couple took over and invited me. The fact that it was our an annual event and that he is missing just made me so sad that I broke down. That group of friends have not invite me ever since.

That made me sad silverfox... reading that your friends stopped inviting you over. That would make me feel worse. I am sorry.

Yesterday was the first time I have been able to be out in a social setting and for a long time not feel alone and lonely until bam the meltdown. Now it seems like the progress I felt I made this past week or so has disappeared and that I am back where I was before. Fustrated with myself. Thank you for your comments, nice to know I am not alone. Hugs to all.

I don't drink (although I have to admit if I could make a strawberry marg exactly like the Outback, I'd be hammered every day) and I have no recent experience with social group activities.
What I do have a LOT of experience with, is feeling fine and then finding myself sobbing. And not a teeny tears event but a full blown bout of weeping that seemingly came from no where and brings me to my knees literally. You know how you cry until you end up on the floor.
And I too Sheila, feel like I have somehow made a misstep and ended up back at the starting gate, sick with longing and so disappointed that it isn't a damn bit better, in fact it's even worse.

Now that it has happened several times, (more like hundreds but I don't want to alarm anyone) I have come to see that although it feels like I am back at the beginning of this totally shitty journey, I am actually moving down the path, and so are you all. It doesn't feel like it, but I just know we are. And you are not alone. My heart is there with you and I am so damn sorry we are here and that new people keep coming and we can't save anyone or stop this or turn around and run back to before. I HATE it so much.
Eek, I started this message all calm and insightful like, and in short order ended up typing through tears.
This sucks but we'll get through it. Big hugs ((())) Sue
PS and it's normal

I find that when I drink I feel better while I am drinking and even feel hopeful but the next day I get super depressed even if I even have one. Friends want me to drink with them but I rarely do. I cry the next day. I knew a woman who turned to drink when her husband died and just drank for weeks at a time and cried all day for years. It would be nice to have a glass of wine now and then but the price is too high

QP

I learned a long time ago not to mix drink and depressed feelings. It amplifies the effect. Also lowers your gate to inhibition. So if you are grieving, which is a form of depression, it will multiply. One sneaky little tear becomes Niagara falls. One angry thought becomes a full blown tirade. So it's not good to mix with your already vulnerable state. It also camouflages your feelings having a reaction to something else, instead of what is really the object upsetting to you.


Make mine sparkling water with a lemon twist.

I find social events, even just being with family for a good part of the day is very hard for me emotionally. During the first few weeks of my wife passing I would cry often when with family, but they were always very understanding, hugging me and crying with me. So nice to have great support like that. Now when I am with family I breakdown when I get home, missing sharing those moments with my wife.

I avoid alcohol as much as possible, but will have a couple of drinks if family invite me to drink. I associate drinking with celebration, and I don't have anything remotely to celebrate or be happy about.

That's for sure. We usually drink to celebrate and there is nothing to celebrate but if you drink to escape, you never will.

Finding your way to give your mind a break is critical, it is like on a roller coaster ride, and once in a while one wants just to step down and feel some peace. Unfortunately, pharmaceuticals, alcohol, gambling, or any other forms of escape are not without the detrimental side effects. I am talking from the experience; my pain was so unbearable, I tried things to have just a brief moment and to forget what had happened.
I have my son, and he is very important part of my life, his opinion about me is critical; this fact curtails my impulsive tendencies.
I found my way of fulfilling this need for an escape by working out, sometimes unreasonable amount if time, and making my body hurt. But that's what it takes for me, and I'd rather do that, than taking drugs (yes, even by prescriptions, they are still drugs in my opinion),or shopping therapy, or other forms of mood alteration.
Working out releases toxins, makes one relax, it is also a constructive social activity. It can be done in moderation, not to the extreme like I do sometimes. Swimming is one of the best soothing nerves activity.
Meditations is also underutilized treasure.
Alcohol is not a good mix with a broken heart.....
Hope your unique way of healing.
Blessing

early on i drank at home one night and when i woke up the next morning i had to delete all kinds of messages i had texted and messages on facebook. boy, i have had nothing since month 2 and that has now been 20 months ago. we live and learn. its just emotions

So now you know. Alcohol sure as hell does NOTHING to ease the pain. I only way is to look your loss in the face and take baby steps to heal. A tiny step forward beats 20 steps backwards! If Alcohol could have helped I would have invaded every bottle Store in Africa