I am so sorry for your loss...those words to some mean nothing ....but to us...those that have walked in your shoes they mean everything!! I am ahead of you by 26 months ...and at times I still go nuts... I am learning to live without my partner....everyone's journey is their own but I have a feeling at this point you cant even imagine a future. Keep coming here...you will find strength and guidance in those that have been walking ahead of you....those that walk next to you ...and even those that walk behind...I never carried a big picture in my purse but did a lot of hugging his jacket in the closet...there was a point that my only wish was to stay there holding and hugging that jacket....sending you a hug......

As Kim says, the words "I am so sorry for your loss, " to all of us here,
are not said lightly......I am so, so sorry for your loss, it has been 4 months for you, this is a safe supportive, loving place to be. I lost my husband, Ben just over a year ago. This grief journey takes it time and toll on your emotions and your life in general.
We are all here to support and encourage you as much as you need.
Sending you thoughts of peace and hope,
Sandra

Tigersocks I feel the same sometimes! Each day has its own challenges. I don't carry a large photo, but I have photos on my phone and 4 short videos that I had him make for me while he was still able. Those have been a blessing to me. I watch them all the time when I feel like I just need to hear his voice just one more time! You are in all of our hearts and prayers. I lean on the Lord and trust Him each day. It helps me get thru. Bless you!

I am sorry for for your loss
I think everyone handles grief differently
I went to the other extreme I could not bear to look at photos of my husband ..Every time I did I would just cry worse ..I would and still do ask myself what would he say to me to now in any given situation. Lisa

Tigersocks . . everything you have described is very normal in early grief. I'm at 15 months and I can promise you it does get better, ever so slowly. Nothing changes drastically overnight, but as the days and months go by I do see more and more light at the end of this horrid grief journey. You feel that you are going nuts, yes we do . . it's a very big reality pill to swallow and takes time for our mind and hearts to catch up. Just know that you are not alone. We are here, walking the journey with you. I wish you peaceful days ahead and sending lots of healing energy your way. Hugs, Dayna

Tig. To try to answer your question ""Are some of you doing the same I do? Feels like I am going nuts! What is your journey?""
We are all here with different backgrounds, but I can tell you that (generally, for the most part) we all have done what you are doing and yes we all felt like we were going crazy. Our Journey is the same as yours. The common denominator is the loss of our spouse and strangely, we all go through the same emotions regardless of age or background. We all hurt for the same reasons. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and we understand your feelings. We've all had them and (to a certain extent still do) all you can do is let your emotions run their course. As harsh as it may seem, there are no shortcuts.
I can only give you my condolences for your loss. Don't give up, you will survive this.

Best Regards, George

So very sorry for your loss. And yes the feeling that one is going nuts is very familiar to me and I think to many in this group. Come here often. Everyone is very supportive and it helps to express our feelings. Hugs, Darlene

I have only been on this site for a few days and I am learning to navigate. I totally understand how you feel. I am in my 8th month of loss and I too cry daily and miss my husband so much. I hate going places we used to go, I can sometimes remember the exact place we sat or what we were wearing on those days. I have pictures of him around and I wear a life print necklace with his finger print on it to try to keep him close. I can't even talk to anyone with out crying so I don't go out much in hopes of avoiding the question of "how are you" nothing is the same and I have a hard time with any type of acceptance. I can't imagine a future and as someone once told me "i am moving on each day I get out of bed" but believe me its a fight. I want to fix this so badly and there are so many what ifs and if onlys. I am here if you want or need to talk. Sending thoughts and prayers.

I understand how you feel and have felt like I was going crazy too. My mind was playing weird tricks on me at around three months after my wonderful husband passed away, and I got to the point where it was the right time for grief counseling. I learned a lot in the eight week sessions, including learning that my mind was playing tricks on me to protect me in a way from dealing with all that pain all at once. My counselor explained that the 'denial' that we all experience is a way of protecting our brain by giving it a respite from the truth for a little while. Anyway, if there is a good grief counseling group near you, that's a good place to go at a point where you feel like you're going crazy, because you'll likely feel a little better and a little less crazy after getting that support.

Am also sorry for your loss...... Don't like to admit it, but going nuts seems to be part of the process of losing your love.

It has been 1yr 2months after 38yrs that I lost Larry. I would like to
say it gets easier & even though I have ran out of tears, my heart
aches daily.

For me, I have pictures all over the house. My key chain has his picture & when I moved, I honored him with a new personalized
car license that says LarryK...... It may not work for everyone
but honoring him when ever I can has been my salvation....

Take care of yourself

just to clarify, after I posted....

Larry & I were married 38yrs ..... I lost him May 2014.
So it has been 1yr/2months....

I'm sorry for your loss. I also talk to my husband all the time. I wear a lock of his hair around my neck, and I've had his name, the date of our wedding and a verse from the Bible tattooed across my forearm. I have also cried every day since he passed, on March 19/15. I even attempt to contact him on the other side...so you're not crazy...

Wendimac..... I also have a locket with Larry's ashes that I wear around my neck. Am I able to ask or can you share if you were
able to contact him ....

It hasn't been so long ago that my husband passed. I still have his clothes in our closet, the clothes in our dresser and chest of drawers. My youngest son and I did clean off the dresser top of all the meds and such that were his. Some of it went to the top of the linen closet, inside a walmart bag. It will sound real crazy to some here but I don't sleep in that bedroom right now. To some it would be a comfort to do that. To sleep on the same mattress that he passed away on. To some it is a comfort but to me, I can still see him so clearly, laying there before the funeral home came to get him. Oh, my gosh, how hard it was to watch them come and take him. Maybe someday I will go in and paint the room and replace the carpet with wood flooring and buy a new mattress, but for now I will give myself more time. There is no hurry for me to do anything. I don't know if there are others who can understand me and my thoughts about this, but that's how it has been for me.

Ruthann

TigerSocks, First of all, I'm sorry to hear of your loss. No, you are not nuts. I have to laugh a little because that was one of the first things I asked folks here when I joined! Everyone is so nice on here and supportive.
My Rocky died April 9th suddenly and life as I know it changed forever. I take his picture to work and home each and every day, carry a little heart he made for me and wrote on Valentine's Day in my purse and wear his ashes in a turtle locket around my neck. I talk to him all the time, in the car especially and at home. I greet his photo when I come home and tell him good morning and good night. I've even been known to wear his cowboy boots around the house despite the fact they are HUGE on me! So, if you're nuts then I'm nuts and we are all nuts. Hmmmm.....maybe that's not such a bad thing to be right now. ?? I tell my friends, "this is MY crazy and right now I need to do this, this is how I'm coping". They understand and don't judge me. Sending you Love and Light. -Becca