Oh my dear, I am so sorry for your loss and please remember it has only been since March. It is still raw and it will be a while until you start to feel a little better. I have been where you have been, but your children are much younger. My daughter is 33, yours are still young. I know what you mean by the silence, and this helped me when my husband passed, I left a tv or radio on so I could hear it through out the house, it does take the silence away. Good bless you and may he help you through this dark period, I prayed a lot. God bless and hugs.

My heart aches for you. I lost my husband in December of 2016. I still want him to come home so I can be happy again. Let the grief roll through you as it will. Nothing is more painful but in time there will be moments where you feel joy and peace. Be kind to yourself this loss is more than any of us could have imagined until forced to take this journey. My heart goes out to you and your kids. Many hugs your way.

Learn to prioritize. Never do today what you can can do tomorrow. Remember, this is not a race. This is survival. And don't be afraid to let your children see you sad. They are sad too. Cling together tighter than ever, help each other through this awfullest of times, love each other with all you've got. And eventually, you all will be just fine. It's just a slow road. But we do all eventually find ourselves able to move forward, taking our love and our memories with us in whatever days we too have remaining. ~~~ Scottie

mish24...my heart goes out to you dear. I lost my husband April 26, 2017, a date etched in my mind. I tried last week to start cleaning out his closet. I opened the door, started crying, and shut it. I realized I was not ready do part with his things. On another note, today I met with a contractor and signed paperwork to have a new roof and guttering put on our house. We had been planning to do it and so I took the bull by the horns and did it. It may not seem like much, but it felt like a real accomplishment for me. I know if I keep attempting to move forward that someday I will get back to the closet. I loved my husband with all my being and miss him tremendously everyday, but I know he is shouting "you go girl" because I am now realizing I am stronger than I thought.

I also read recently that it was good to not try to hide your grief from your children and grandchildren. That we all need to heal together and in our own ways.

I'm so sorry. Don't push yourself to clean up papers and sort out his stuff. My husband died last September, and I still have a room full of boxes I cannot go through. We were moving from New Jersey to Georgia and the movers delivered our things prior to the car accident that killed him. My best friend and my stepmom helped me sort through a lot of boxes, throw things out and make donation piles. Right now I am in a holding pattern and do not feel like going through anything else. Take as much time as you need; be gentle and patient with yourself.

I can relate to that. That's why I moved out of my place and moved in with my son. I got rid of all my husbands clothes and stuff right away. It was so difficult to get rid of his clothes. It feels like every time I get rid of something that was his or I take his name off the bank account I am erasing him off the planet and I'm somehow erasing the fact that he even existed. My advice to you is if you can sell your house and start over. When I get away from all the memories I feel better and I'm not alone. I have a two year old granddaughter to chase after all day long. It helps believe me.

I miss him so much I could never erase his memory from my heart. I wish I could bring him back and talk to him, have him hold me, and sing a song to me. He was such a great entertainer. I miss his performances and all the fun we used to have traveling and meeting new people when he performed. Even though I have gotten rid of most of his stuff, I still have all those memories.

mish24, my heart goes out to you; it is so difficult to continue to live when the one you loved the most is gone. Just know you are among others who understand. Hugs to you. Roxanne

@Mish24, my heart goes out to you. Please take all the time that you need. There is no right or wrong. I too lost my hubby 6 months ago and am 41. No one could have paid me to accept the bet that I would be widowed at this age. I cry myself to sleep daily. It is really hard.
My prayers are with you( cyber hugs)

This new life we are all facing is too blank. I know in time we will feel a new happiness never the same way though. Different but still happiness will find us all again. It is my work for me now. I feel sad everyday but it seems like my new norm. Everyone around me thinks i am doing so great as i have two faces now...but am thankful for my time alone now i treasure it as i get to be myself and be with him. (( Hugs))

Thank you everyone for your replies. Knowing that there are others who are going through or have survived the same situation as mine gives me hope and strength. To tell you honestly, though I have some friends but I am not the kind who always calls or keeps in touch. My husband became my best friend all these years and and now that he is gone, I find myself calling friends most of the time just to talk but I feel recently that they are starting to get tired of me. I feel that I am so alone in this world. Around the time of my husband's funeral, a lot of people came to me and said that they will be here for me and the kids always but it seems after the funeral everything has come back to normal for them. I don't blame them, that's just the way it is. That's why I am so thankful for this group that I can just pour out my thoughts and emotion with no judgement.

Mish24... Someone on here once said "Our grief has a expiration date for everyone but us." That is so true. Just this past Monday I was in my physician's office. Who was also my Anne's physician. He asked me if I was over my wife's death yet. REALLY! I just looked at him and tried to remain calm. After a few seconds I told him "No I'm not over it. I'll never be over it. I'm learning to cope with it you dumb ass." People who are not walking the path we are just don't get it. I also told him he really needs to work on his bed side manner. Good thoughts and best wishes out to you and yours.