Widows & Widowers Support Group

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FB question - fustrated

royalbubble
royalbubble
I was reading the post from mari, I been on FB for ages and found it great when Justin was sick to make a page and update everyone as we had two countries of family and friends to update. But now I find it hard cause when do you change from "married" status to not married. FB is very public and if you change it everyone knows and if you don't change it people also make comments on why are you still "married" it gets annoying when people keep asking.I also have the problem of wether to change my name in Australia. I changed to his last name in USA but we were not married long enough to change all the paperwork over here and now I've come home everything is back in my maiden name. So do I change to his or leave it ? Then do I change it as well in FB? Social media is awesome but also causes more dramas when you don't know what to do and don't want to offend cause of course I'm friends on there with all his family. If I didn't use it to keep contact with people overseas id just get rid of the lot. So many stupid little things keep popping up.
soalone2to1
soalone2to1
I never liked facebook. Too much drama but I never posted much personal stuff anyway. Too much information and need some distance now anyway. Do what you think is right for you and don't worry about what others think or say. It's your time to grieve and do what keeps you going. Good thoughts to you. Robyn
handg
handg
In regards to FB I think that one should never put widowed as their settings as that opens the door for creeps . My sister did this and had unwanted attention. I put it`s complicated and left it at that. There were a few comments to which I did not respond and people let it go. I am no longer married in the eyes of the law but in my heart I am so "it`s complicated" was the right one to use for me. You want to freak people out , use the "In a relationship" one and see what happens!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would create a family and friends group for the people you would like to share any information and make it private. I know what you mean. some how my married status is gone. on my page but it come you when you click on my photo. no one has said anything but I was wondering if they wanted to say something. I also change my photo to my husband photo. I'm so sorry to hear of your lost. God Bless you! Hugs!
SmittyJones
SmittyJones
You asked how to change your status, this is how it is done:
1. Go to your timeline page
2. Click on "About"
3. Click on "Family & Relationships"
4. On the right, under Relationships, you will see "Married". Click on "edit" which is on the right side of "Married"
5. Make your changes and click on "Save Changes"

I still have mine as Married also and will probably keep it that way for the reasons listed by others. I hope this helps!
laney77
laney77
One of the reasons answering these FB questions is so difficult for us is that it means facing the reality of our situation or new status. Very very difficult to do in the first year. There is no rush to change anything. Take it slow, take your time, one day it will just happen, and you will either change these status questions or not.
npc4204
npc4204
You can make your information private, so no one has to see your relationship status.
I've never had my relationship status public. Every one of my Facebook friends know my situation, and if they're not my Facebook friend it's none of their business.
russ1153
russ1153
Do what feels right for you and don't worry what others think. This is a hard enough journey for ourselves without trying to satisfy others.
deleted_user
deleted_user
you can have a fb name that isn't either of your last names - my daughter and niece recently did it for privacy.
if there is anyone you don't want to have the new name, I think if you unfriend them first, they won't get the name change.

do what is right for you and try not to stress too much over what other people feel. I might be widowed, but I still feel married.
tikibell1
tikibell1
I have seen many young people I know put down married even though they are not and even names of brothers and sisters who are actually only friends. One thing I have learned is most of facebook is fake. Alot of it is someone who loves to share their drama with the public. Some people who I know are definately not perfect try and display a perfect life to the pint even their pictures have been altered to look perfect. I went their because the DS friends I had here when newly widowed left and went to facebook. Also I keep up with family I never get to see! But I do not really do much else on there. Use any status you feel comfortable with and ignore the questions! Hugs!!!
mannie123
mannie123
My relationship status will remain "Married" for as long as I wish to keep it that way.... and anyone who questions my decision will get an earful, ignored or unfriended depending on my mood that day. You do what feels right for you!
soalone2to1
soalone2to1
In my eyes I am still Married. I don't care what anyone else thinks so they better not say anything about it. I wear my ring to honor the life we shared and the memories I cherish.
Livingbyfaith
Livingbyfaith
glad to see you on this site don't you love it!! I kept my status married and have my wedding ring on. Its too soon for you to make big changes. Love you.
mclizm
mclizm
I have my maiden name listed as my middle name so my profile comes up with both. Was going to change my status to widow but panicked when it removed " married to PJ". Guess I'm just not ready to go there yet. Make sure you're privacy settings are set for friends only to protect yourself. Final thought, don't worry what others think. Do what feels right for you. You have enough to handle as it is. Hope this helps. Liz
rochelle1466
rochelle1466
my husband died in 2011 and neither of us had been on fb long but when he died i removed his page because of game requests and that kind of thing. All my information is hidden and private so i have it as "only me" and only my name is on there, anyone that knows me knows what its about.