Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
How does one experience anger, without expressing it? How many ways and venues are there to express anger? How many forms can it take, and how many of them are socially acceptable, and healthy? We can externalize it, or internalize it. Is verbal abuse one of the softer forms of externalized anger? In my 40 years of experience working with the mentally ill, the criminally insane, raging conduct disordered youth ect., I found that verbal abuse was the purist, and least harmful expression of anger. Pyschological abuse although also appearing as a softter expression of anger, far more harmful, at least over time.
With that said, I am encouraging more tolerance by all, for one of the least damaging forms of anger expression left to those experiencing it.
Go the a thrift store/charity shop or garage sale and buy up some really cheap dishes. You can take them home and break them one by one and with each broken dish state your anger and then >crash< - you would be amazed how satisfying and cathartic that is. And again, doesn't hurt anybody else.
It is not okay to relieve your hurt by creating hurt in someone else. Verbal abuse is still abuse. It's still a form of violence, and it can cause emotional damage. Perhaps your profession has made you thicker-skinned, but most here, especially the newly bereaved, are pretty raw. I think we are as tolerant as we can manage, as understanding as is reasonable, but there comes a point where you have to step back and not enable bad behavior.
Love and Hugs,
Martha
However....now you’ve got me wondering about you and the whole bug murder!!!!
On the other hand, maybe we shouldn't call it bug murder, they call it pest control. What exactly they are controlling I have no idea.
I suspect that the reason your workplace humans restricted their behavior to verbal, vs physically harmful was for one reason: They knew that to cross that line meant there will be very real & tangible consequences. All such facilities have clear lines drawn between physical and "only" verbal. Supervisors hold all the keys to being in or out of containment.
Not everyone is equally equipped. THIS, I learned at great expense to myself.
I will never be the same as before.