Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Ever since Kurt's passing I find that I have no interest in food. Halfway through the day it occurs to me that I should eat something so I'll put together a peanut butter sandwich or a bowl of oatmeal and pick away for hours, never completely finishing anything in front of me. I try to make it a point to drink at least one Ensure type nutritional shake a day, but some days I won't even remember to do that.
Up until last month I enjoyed cooking and sharing meals that helped Kurt regain some of his lost weight and unavoidably gained a little weight myself. Those extra pounds are gone now but many more have left and if I keep this up even more will be leaving. My Widow's Diet has me wondering if I'll be able to eat again before I fade away to nothing. Any suggestions on how I can stimulate my appetite would be most welcome.
I agree with Martha, eating with a friend is a good idea. Sometimes I would eat and still lose weight. I think grieving burns calories!
~ Lori
I started having signs of that again, and mentioned it to my doctor, and she ran the full blood screen and we discovered that I am woefully deficient in vitamin D. So now I am on prescription strength vitamin D and feeling 10 times better.
Someone here once commented that "grief is like digging ditches 12 hours a day." It does take everything out of you, which is why I keep harping on silly things like eat right, drink water, take vitamins, walk in the sunshine, etc. You need your physical strength to survive the emotional drain because the emotional drain is so immense.
Obviously, if you're not sure what to do, check with your doctor for their advice. Thinning hair can also be caused by low thyroid which is diagnosed by blood tests. That's what I thought I had as my Mom had that, but it turned out to be the vitamin D deficiency.
Love and Hugs....
not eating has worsened for me over time. Facing the 3 year mark of husbands' death this month.. Isolation stemming from the "add-on" losses of being widowed is horrid. Having battled depression, anxiety, ptsd prior to grief makes it functionally disabling.
Other widows (from 40+ years marriages) have the same problems. ALL of us have no appetite. we eat only out of of self-discipline..it is a victory for me to eat once a day.
Failure overcoming difficulties of widowhood = having no idea how to get through what is ahead of me with new health treatment issues (& possible home upheaval like cliffskat/Martha posted here), taking steps forward to a completely changed future. I'm not managing steps at all.
It's taking a big risk for me to post this. prayers appreciated, but not mandatory for valid support. I can't deal with being talked down to because I'm a wreck now.
Thank you,
B.
Love and Big Hugs,
Martha
B.