I've had two. The first ocurred after 2 months, the second 3 months. I believe that dreams are portals that our departed loved ones use to communicate with us. In other words, not all are necessarily dreams.

My husband of 23yrs passed Oct.28,2010.I have not dream t about him yet.And I pray I do.I wish I could talk to him one more time.He died in a accident,and I wish he would let me know he is ok.But I have yet to dream about him.I wish you comfort.

Initially, all my dreams of him were nightmares - often replaying his death, sometimes with him leaving me for another woman, or sometimes leaving me because he didn't love me anymore. I think it was about 4 months before I finally had a good dream of Cliff. It was such a relief!

I have had dreams where he was alive, dreams where I visited him in "The House of the Dead," dreams where he was around but it was just like a usual day, dreams where I knew he was dead and wasn't supposed to be there. I have had many, many of the searching dreams Ken talked about. I hate those. I also had a lot of anxiety/worry dreams about my kids because I'd become a single parent and was scared I wouldn't be able to take care of my boys on my own.

It was a long time before I had a dream where Cliff and I physically touched and kissed. It was a very long time before I had any erotic dreams of him.

I still have nightmares, thankfully they are less frequent. He still appears in my dreams on a regular basis. I'm over 3 years out and remarried.

Hope this helps. Love and Hugs, Martha

l always have dreams about Frank,they started about 2 weeks after he died,and they haven,t stopped,some of them l don,t think were dreams,they seemed so real,especially the first one l had,in it he was fit and well,he was telling me he had visited alot of places and he,s fine,l know l did find alot of comfort from this dream,but l was also deeply upset.Most of my dreams involve him walking away,or walking through an open door,l have also had dreams when he has just been there,sitting in the background,just watching.
Some dreams are comforting,some are so upsetting,but either way,l love to dream about him,it keeps the connection between both worlds.
Alice

I had my frat dream last night so 4 and a half weeks. In the dream I was sick with a bad cold. My husband was feeding me tea and soup and tucking the blankets around me. It is the first morning I have woken up without crying!

I did not dream of my husband until I think around a year. I have had 2 since. In all of them it was just routine everyday things, nothing of any significance unfortunately. When my dad passed away, he came to me, a hazy vision, when I was wide awake, smiled and walked out of the room. It was him telling me goodbye. It has almost been 3 years and I only wish something similar or more significant would happen with my husband. Take care, Sandra

I had dreams of my Joe as well, most of the time he is fine. Many times I can't get close enough to talk to him or if I get close enough he says nothing... I once held his hand and once he kissed me. Some dreams I am chasing after him trying to catch up but I never do...Even when I can't remember my dream I have this feeling he was there. Sometimes I think that's why I sleep again, because I feel that same connection when he was here. Before I hated going to sleep because I would have to face my loss all over again in the morning. I still go to bed late and get maybe 5 hours of sleep but I will take it. I have asked our daughter if she has dreamed of her daddy, but she says no. However she did tell she has heard him call her by her nickname (a nickname he gave her when she was around 2 years old and called her since).

I have had dreams, but one that stands out was us being in Oregon in this small town. I remember I really liked it there; there was an outside market, little shops, a restaurant. I saw a realtor's office and was ready to go in and talk to them. Then I remember Gene saying to me "Of course, I won't be here with you." I do plan to move to Oregon; I think it was his way of telling me that it is O.K. with him that I am going there. I have had other times when I know he spoke to me, sometimes when I was wide awake. It is like a thought in my head, or a voice that comes. I was struggling with a shelf unit one day, trying to get the top shelf off, and I remember a voice telling me, "Just lift it straight up." I did, and it came right off.

I only had one dream at about 3 months only it was so real not like a dream at all. Lois was standing in front of me and tearing me a you know what about all the guilt I was hanging on too. She was standing there wiht her hands on her hips just daring me to debate the topic with her. Dave

I had a dream about James last night after I posted the dream question. It was the first one I can remember. There were some nights and mornings in the first days after his death when I would wake up and feet like he had been talking to me and I woke up to hear or had just walked out of the room and I just missed seeing him.
In my dream he was disappointed in me and he was being angry with me. It felt like I was being pushed away. I was trying to convince him that he was looking at things wrong. That I had his best interests in mind. Then we were being intimant but it still felt contentious. It had a 'happy ending'(to avoid being graphic) and I was surprised and happy with our success. Then I woke up with these terribly mixed emotions.

Dealing with all this grief feels like spiritual boot camp. I am exhausted!

I am at the 10 month mark and have had a few, always happy dreams, but not until at least I was 5 or 6 months in. Hugs, Wendy

The first couple of months, I had long time employees and friends coming to me, telling me of their vivid dreams of Joe. I didn't have a one. Not until months after. When I did, finally, I knew Joe was dead, in all of them. Sometimes I would say it, like, "wait, you're dead, right?" I've had several since. 99% of them were my mind figuring it out - but there were a couple where I think...maybe it wasn't just a dream.

About five months after I lost the love of my life I had a very vivid dream about her. It was so real that I just knew she was in the room, even her dog knew it, and I had one other very vivid dream like that. Sometimes when I wake up recently I know I have been dreaming about her, but I just can't remember anything about it. I often wake up even just napping in the recliner with a feeling she is here with me or has been here. Most of the time it's a peaceful feeling, but seconds later reality sets in again.

They had a lady on the morning news show said dreams are to balance the psyche. I guess dreams are different for everyone and could be different for you too depending on how you are feeling at the time. Here is a song about dreams http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iug0X6cJDDM It makes me cry sometimes but not so much lately, but then I never know.

I am sorry for your loss, mixed emotions are a big part of this journey. There is something called stages of grief and there have been times when I had all of them in a matter of minutes and in no particular order. Take one step at a time and know you will have understanding and support here.

I pray you find some peace.

Hugs,
Ron

My 1st dream was about 8 months after my husbands' death. I dreamt he had come back after walking out on me several months before. I was so thrilled and happy to see him then I woke up and realized he was really dead. I have had 2 dreams since and they are of the same content. It is weird because my husband and I never walked out on each other or were ever separated. Makes me wonder why I dream these kind of dreams.

I rarely dream of anything that I can remember. I blame that on the psych meds. I wish I could dream of Harry. I do feel him with me during the day and I find that very comforting but it always makes me cry and then he leaves. I guess he thinks he is making me feel bad. I believe his understanding about life here is different than it was when he was alive. sometimes I am so despondent both he and my Mom come to me. They seem to apologize a lot. I was told by a psychic that they didn't want me to live for the dead. I have since talked to both of them and told them that if I don't live for the dead then I truly have nothing. I think they are beginning to me that I am not looking for friends and certainlhy not another man and that I have to live for them and my dogs or I have only my lonliness and emptiness.