Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I just read an interesting post about dreams a gentleman was having after the loss of his spouse and from the resposes, a question has come to my mind I would like to pose to you all.
What sorts of dreams related to the loss of your spouse have you had and in what time frame did they occure ie, weeks, months, years after the fact?
I wonder what insights we might learn in how the subconsious mind deals with these complex emotions. And I wonder what to expect myself.
What sorts of dreams related to the loss of your spouse have you had and in what time frame did they occure ie, weeks, months, years after the fact?
I wonder what insights we might learn in how the subconsious mind deals with these complex emotions. And I wonder what to expect myself.
My sister had the first dream that she rightly called a visit. She saw David walking towards her at the resort where we co-owned a mobile home. He had two coffee's in his hand. When we stayed together he used to get up early and go to the restaurant to get her and him a coffee, George and I didn't drink coffee. So in the "dream" he was approaching her with the coffee,looking as he did in his prime (the way I always see him) and smiling radiantly at her. She started to sob because she knew he had died. He hugged her and patted her back while saying, "Don't be sad, don't cry Kim, I'm in a really, really good place now. Then he told her to tell me he was o.k.
Shortly after our lifelong friend called to tell me David had visited her while she was crying in her bed about his death.He told her the same things but added in the fact that people here worry about all the wrong things.
I wanted a dream and a hug so bad but it took awhile. Not sure why. Might have something to do with the state of shock I was in at the time. The first time I dreamt of David, he was alive and everyone was there, all our family and friends. It was a massive celebration because there had been a mistake -David hadn't really died. It was all a big misunderstanding. Oh the joy I felt. I grabbed the phone and said "I'm calling the doctor and telling her to give you every test known to man, because I can never go thru something like this again" Then I woke up and for awhile didn't know what was true or not. As reality set in-horrible, horrible,horrible.
The second dream was along the same line. I was sitting with him in the doctors waiting room. He was really sick like he was before he died ( they kept telling him he had the flu) I told him I was coming in with him because I knew he had a heart attack and that they wouldn't believe him. He just weakly said, "O.K. honey" Obviously these two dreams deal with my anguish and disbelief at his death and trying to changethe outcome in my dreams.
Then I had a dream that I visited him and he was working laying tiles with another guy in a huge glass building. Not his "earthly" job. But he seemed really happy and content. We hugged and kissed and he said, Now that you know where I am, come back anytime" Cute!
There were a few other dreams where we would just be doing routine things and he was there usually helping me in someway.
Then I had a series of dreams that are so hard to explain. So beautiful, so amazing, our spirits united. In these "dreams" we would be totally entwined, hugging each other tightly, we didn't speak with words but thru our hearts, souls and spirits. We poured our love and sorrow into each other. Those dreams were such a gift and sustained me, thank you love, thru my darkest hours.
Those dreams ended abruptly . In the last one I somehow became aware I wasn't getting any response from David then noticed he was dead in my arms. It was awful.
No dreams for awhile after this, I missed them so much.I felt I was losing my sense of David's presence here with me.
Lately I have had two dreams sending me the message I have to let go. Our earthly connection has been so hard to sever. In the first dream he told me he would come if I really, really needed him but he wanted to go back and have some fun. In my most recent dream I was tending his grave. The cemetary was full of people all doing the same. I was crying by his tombstone and saying. " I don't want this to be true" when all the people spoke out in a unified voice that it was true. I cried harder repeating I don't want it to be true and please change it. The uniifed voice spoke again kindly but firmly saying it was true and could not be changed. I cried softly repeating these words to myself then woke up crying. It's amazing how we our unconscious and conscious work together to help us process things. I believe some of these dreams were to help me come to terms with the reality of my situation and some were gifts from God that David really came to me. I have had other visions of a spiritual nature but I think I've gone on long enough lol. Sweet dreams to everyone!