The only thing that keeps me going is knowing I will be with him again.

http://www.prageruniversity.com/Ten-Commandments/The-Ten-Commandments-Introduction.html

Wishing us all a BETTER 2015

Your belief system is yours and it is your right to believe as you choose .It is also the right for others to believe as they choose. Diversity of opinions is were the root of debate takes place and the result of debate can and will lead to emotional and intellectual awareness. The death of your husband at this time is all consuming and your emotional intelligence can and will be tested. When individuals reference God in reference to your husband's passing take a breath and remember they do indeed care and trying to offer you comfort. There is no intention to cause you stress or pain. Say thank you and know you are loved.

First, when they say that they are repeating a distortion of the words from the bible.
The creator in any form is not that cruel, but people can be even inadvertently

Early in my loss I was so mad at those same words when they were said to me.
Gentlest hugs and feed that part of you that has the spunk to feel strongly on anything. It's what brought you the love of your spouse and what will get you through on this journey. You are still the awesome person he met and couldn't let go of, until he had to. Remember that part of you is still there in you.It's just hidden in the pain of losing your husband.
Slowly and sporadically it will show it's self again and then you will get what you need to get stronger again. That spunk is the fuel you need to do it.
I have a few more months than you on this, so if this seems impossible in this moment, that's okay. We as a group come from many different backgrounds, but we were ll loved for who we are.
My heart to you, and support when you need it, as it was given to me so freely when I came here.
Jewell

Pam, I get where you are coming from because I am a Christian but I really get pissed off being told that my husband is in a better place. Really...I thought he was in a good place here with his children that need him. I recently ran into a friend of my husband's and he felt the need to bend my ear. He said "You know I am an Atheist?" I said that I did not know and it really did not matter. He is a nice guy. He went on to say he had met a girl and really likes her but she is a Christian and he wanted advice how to break it to her. I have not seen him in a while so I hope the conversation went well. I think you just need to excuse some people and realize they mean well. Someone that cares about you would not intentionally try to offend you. With that, I will simply wish you peace in your heart.

Maggie

To tell someone that they will suffer more or less than you because YOU are a believer is insensitive, at the least and offensive, at the best!

I believe in ME and as time goes by [it doesn't become less painful, just easier to bear] I'm believing more and more in the power of ME!!!!

Roz

P.S. In the pharmacy, last night, while waiting in line, in front of me was an elderly couple maybe in their mid-eighties. The woman was stroking the man's hair, massaging his back and then holding his hand........The PROMISE that was made to me by Morey; to be together until we grow old TOGETHER!!! It was so beautiful and tearful to watch, all at the same time!

Roz

Here I am with my two cents again.

I'm sure there are those here who have someone in their life who is now avoiding them. Maybe it's a friend. Maybe it's a relative or coworker. Some even have stories of people who have simply disappeared from their lives. The widower/widow end up wondering what happened to them.

Well! This is what happened to some. People are afraid to say anything. They're not mind readers, and are afraid that something they say that is meant to help will be taken the wrong way and have the opposite affect.

So, they walk away. Then guilt follows and you don't hear from them ever again.

I am just glad we all have each other....can come here to share, vent, cry, support, give each ofher a virtual hug. What matters is that we are all human, suffering a great loss. I have come to understand most people do not know how to deal with death or what to say or do. I just take what they can give from their heart and appreciate when they do. I have girlfriends who practice different religions/beliefs and we all get along and respect each other. Next year has to be better for all of us.

I'm sorry Truhal, I disagree, if they are afraid to say something that would be taken the wrong way, say nothing at all. A hug goes a long way when you don't have the words. I realize people are not mind readers and that is exactly why I put my comment out there, to perhaps make others stop and think before they tell you "he's in a better place". And frankly if someone actually got upset at me for reacting while grieving, they aren't somebody I want to call my friend.

Hi Pammy...
I echo your sentiments... I was pummeled with comments like that when my two-month-old son died. I found them very offensive then, that people would believe in a God so cruel as to take my baby away from me.
I've since read "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" - and realized that there was a lot of truth in that book for me. God wasn't in the death of my son (though I now could relate to Mary in a way I never anticipated). But He was there in the response of my community rallying around me when I needed solace.
The best comments I heard when Rob died (my late hubby) was that 'He was no longer in pain' - which was true. He had suffered considerable pain in the last months; pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
People often say these pat phrases, thinking they are giving comfort, but most of the time they just don't know what else to say. For me now, when I have a friend with a loss, I just tell them "I don't know what to say that could take your pain away or lessen it... but know that I am here to listen anytime you need me."
Take care,
Jacuzzi

I am sincerely sorry for your loss. I know it is one, if not, the most painful experiences we are all going through.
You have chosen to react, in anger, to someone's well meaning intention. Sometimes in trying to bring comfort to the person in pain, we don't think of that persons belief system, we comfort from our perspective. You have made a very valid point, all of us here care enough for your feelings , that we will,I am sure take heed.
Hug for you,
Sandra.

Terri,

Well written and thought out! Peace be with you and thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Fairly close to mine. May the New Year be kind to all of our sad souls and bring happiness and good things into our lives for all of us wherever we are at in the universe. Good thoughts to everyone!

Dewey

I am so sorry for the pain and loss you are going through. All here know that shattered feeling, and I hope you find healing in the love and support of your family and friends, both in your life at home, and here with us. Whatever you believe, or don't, we are here to help any way we can. So many great people here helped me through such tough moments over the last 18 months, and will be there for you too. Hugs to you and your family,

Robert

People just don't know what to say to comfort someone, particularly if they haven't been in the same situation. So they try and they get it wrong. My close friends have mostly got it right and I don't care about the rest. What particularly enraged me in the early days was the phrase "Rest in peace". You never met a more lively, gregarious, funny person than my Mac - if there is an afterlife, he's having a party/can fly/has met Marilyn and has a great store of new jokes. RIP - pah!

Look, there is really only one question...................Is God there or not? If He is not, then we have no hope.
I am at 4 1/2 years and yes I've asked many questions.
But I must tell you - without Jesus - there is no hope at all.
Long ago, I dedicated my life to Him as did my husband and children. It made all the difference in our life. Now that Bill is gone, I have chosen to continue to follow Him. When I die.............I will be anxiously looking for my sweet Bill on the other side.
How bad is that?
Seriously.
At this time my life is filled with purpose. I will give solace to others along this journey..........till I go home :)

I have to agree with you. It is hard for me to believe someone or something would want and let them suffer so much